"It's Rosh Hashanah, and it's your turn to blow the chauffeur!"--Dr Sumguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A nice little ethically-driven pun with a homoerotic element that was actually submitted on the Jewish day of atonement. A perfect storm of bad taste.)
"I know that you're a master debater, but you still have to put in some effort."--Hans Down Wiener (JUDGE'S COMMENT: If he really is a master debater his prep work might involve a Victoria's Secret catalog and some lube. He really should go indoors, though"
"Alright, you stupid jerk, I'll vote for you if you just get off my lawn and move your fucking bus."--Satireguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Very insightful. The woman complaining is symbolic of Libertarians who see the government as intrusive, lethargic and easily bought off. The bus in the drive-way and the guy in the lawn chair represent parasitic do-nothing politicians. Excellent perspective, still, "stupid jerk" is a bit redundant.)
"Still sunning for President?"--SPF 30 (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Like bloop hits in baseball, obvious puns are not pretty but they still count.)
All I'm getting back from the Craigslist ad are potential running mates either good at foreign policy or bus parking but not both.--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Point taken. But try finding someone who loves football, drinks beer--and still looks smokin' hot in a tight shirt and high heels. As Mrs. al in la will tell you, that's not someone who's easy to find--even on Craig's List.)
"The want to know if you promise to restore the second 'i' to "Anti-Capton."--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Tell them that I have consistently cut the number of letters used without raising the amount of effort required to entertain people who can't even be bothered to make up a fake name that adds entertainment value to their Anti-Caption. UPDATE: We were running a contest to see who would notice that the word was spelled "Capton" in the headline for the past six weeks. Nice catch!)
72 comments:
"Some guy named Goebbels is on the phone."
"Younger voters are talking about you online. What does `last name fail' mean?"
"Well, Gruenby did promise chaise."
No one is going to vote for a man who buys a bus so big it can't be driven under an overpass or through a tunnel.
Paiin called. She would like her self righteousness back. And her bus.
"Suspending your campaign to work on the economic crises?"
Jim Cavanaugh
"You're still small. It's the campaign buses that got big."
Nice to see you've settled on the
Rangel strategy.
"I'm leaving you for Hal Philip Walker."
"If you don't finish your to-do list, buddy boy, I'll turn 'stump speech' into a vague reference to your severed dick."
"The bus needs a new slogan ... How about ... "Exact Change'!"
"The bus needs a new label ... What about ... 'More More More don't stop'!"
"I'll have to say Walter, for an illegal alien, you certainly have ball's!"
In the future, I would appreciate you not referring to my giving you a blowjob as a "fully tax deductible campaign contribution."
The only poll I've seen has a mop attached to it.
"It's Rosh Hashanah, and it's your turn to blow the chauffeur!"
"And the good news! ... After the election you can convert back to the food bus ... 'The Greasy Wiener'!"
Nice to see you've settled on the Rangel strategy.
"Well, I think you're taking this Let Gruenbey Be Gruenbey thing too far!"
"You're in my chair!"
Look Walter, how long do you think it will take till Hank figures out this thing is a rolling meth lab?
"What is this? Some sort of busman's holiday?"
"Yes, I realize your opponent has been caught in lie after lie and recently said nearly half the people in the country are a bunch of deadbeat leeches...but you really need to get out there and press the flesh."
"Your opponent has a new campaign slogan: `A chicken in every pot, and a door on every bus'."
"Move that piece of shit and fix the garage door. I have to be at Denny's in half hour."
"Walter, Walter! Walter! Jose!
"Look, just because you have the Ralph Kramden vote doesn't mean you can just lounge around 'til Election Day."
At the rate you're going, you'll be leading the Million Pound March.
"Not for nothing, but your name anagrams as Barer Ugly Newt."
"Your constituents called, I have to kick you in the nuts again".
"Look, Walter, America is not ready for a paraplegic president."
"Walter Gruenby called and he wants his bus back."
"Where'd the wheels come from—Dunkin Donuts?"
"Using the 'N Word' over the loudspeaker is not the end of the world Walter! ... There's still Mississippi!"
"You've got another thing coming if if you think this dump is going to be our summer White House!"
"You've got another thing coming if you think this dump is going to be our summer White House!"
"I beg your pardon, there's no one here, the gardener is gone"
All I'm getting back from the Craigslist ad are potential running mates either good at foreign policy or bus parking but not both.
"Walter, napping has never been anyone's key to success."
"The RNC's on the line. Do you want to be their Presidential nominee?"
"No one said Fascism was this easy".
"I've come up with several anagrams for 'Walter Gruenby." Which do we want to use in the campaign?
We Barely Grunt
Enter Brawl Guy
Watery Bungler
Wry Gut Enabler
Newt Rear Bulgy
Nut Barely Grew
Let Gay Brew Run
"Facebook would be cheaper."
"I just saw the bottom of the 'Pork Barrel'! ... Get back on the bus!"
I think you need some other campaign promises besides just 'to lower gas prices'.
Walter Gruenby,
Not Born in Kenya on Monday,
Not Christened a Muslim on Tuesday,
Didn't Marry a whitey-hater on Wednesday,
Took office on Thursday,
Everything Grew worse on Friday,
Re-elected on Saturday,
Buried our once-great nation on Sunday.
Way to go, Walter Gruenby, you douche!
"There's such a thing as being too Independent."
I'm flattered that you want me to be your "chief of staff" but you can get your own damn beer.
"The want to know if you promise to restore the second 'i' to "Anti-Capton."
I'm trying to determine whom you've been transfigured from, or as.
Yeah, "we barely grunt" is pretty good, but did you know that "Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan" is an anagram for "my ultimate Ayn Rand porn"?
I preferred it when your hobby was collecting campaign buttons.
"The bad news - they want you to pull out. The good news - you just got endorsements from NAMBLA and Jerry Sandusky."
"The only runoff you'll be seeing is from the lawn."
"Still sunning for President?"
"D'you hear that? They're calling you an 'also-tan'."
"The stars are wrong on the bus. The even columns are from the 48 star flag. We'll tell them we want to return to 1950s values."
"Congratulations, you've won. This proves that politics really do make the future moron-certain."
"You're a politician -- put a spin on it!"
"The school called. They want their bus back."
"I know that you're a master debater, but you still have to put in some effort."
"Why don't you give it another shot? I'm sorry I said you look like David Axelrod."
Jim Cavanaugh
"Your nutsack's hanging out."
"When the assassins get here, would you please have them see me? I owe them a 'G'."
"Who's the woody for?"
"Can You still see the future with your eyes closed and drool running down your cheek?"
"Let Them Take Cabs" does have a nice ring to it.
"Let's go sheeple. The real sheep are back."
"Walt! Your running a close second behind Missouri Senator Mel Carnahan ... He's also dead!"
"Walter, Blogspot called. They want you to judge the Anti-cap contest. The last guy was asleep on the job."
"I'm voting for Pedro."
Which microscope does not rely on visible light? a. This page is maintained by Steve Gagnon. Familiarization with Microscope Components.
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