al in la

Monday, May 11, 2015

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest No. 475




WINNERS
FIRST PLACE
"C'mon al, throw us a bone."--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This kind of hit home because I do have a beard and enjoy barbequing. I also feel an occasional tinge of guilt for taking the the anti-cap to its logical extreme: A wasteland of lame jokes and dumb puns lingering in cyberspace with the wanting desperate eyes of a young lad who just wants to play catch with his always-too-busy dad. If you are represented by the guy in the limo you understand the importance of time management and indifference to the suffering of others. But I am sentimental, so here's your metaphorical bone...)
SECOND PLACE
Jeeves, call the Koch brothers and have them quintuple the price of chicken.--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A pointed political barb with a logical flaw. The Koch boys would take the chicken and have the man arrested for something. Also, while I have you: Former NYC mayor Ed Koch's last name rhymed with “crotch.” Detractors made good use of that. [Like having a Dallas Cowboys' QB whose last name rhymes with “homo,” say.] But the Billionaire Brothers pronounce their notorious last name in a way that sounds like “coke.” That seems unfair.)
THIRD PLACE
"How do I get to Mount Clitoris?"--Greenie Stik-M-Caps (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Practice.)
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"Cacciatore, you crazy bastard! How are you?"--Shelly (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Good use of a classic, albeit a counterintuitive use of BBQ chicken.)
"Christ, what an ass hole-shaped cave."--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A bit of a stretch to accommodate a classic. But maybe the guy cooking in the cave represents a persistent burning sensation, and the guy in the limo symbolizes a 4 oz. tube of roid-relief goo that costs $23. So this could be a statement about greedy pharmaceutical companies, although I realize it probably is not. )

al, it's Dr. Sumguy. You can get your internet back up for as little as $9.99/mo.--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: But we now get it “free” as part of our $102 a month cable package. [Yeah, I know. Go figure.] Quick story: While staying in a hotel in NYC a few weeks ago, we also had “free” internet, but it was slow and you were asking for trouble if you had more than one window open at a time. Luckily they also offered a “premium service” for $12 a day. That's just the way the world works.)
"Come on al ... Do something ... Any thing ... Bite the Pullet!"--Dr Sumguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The only thing that can stop a Sumguy with a bad pun is ANYONE with a better pun. It has also been said that all that's needed for bad puns to triumph, is for lazy preoccupied judges to do nothing. Noted.)



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al in la

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Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.