al in la

Monday, September 22, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #444
















WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
It’s only considered entrapment on dry land.--SalmonOfDoubt (JUDGE"S COMMENT: Perfect anti-cap because it's smart and funny but still too stupid to pass muster with the brass at the NYer. )
SECOND PLACE
This guy's so desperate to become a lawyer, he tried to pass the sand bar.--boneguy (JUDGE"S COMMENT: By now it's clear that the bone man has his moments of quiet desperation. These yeild his best caps, among which this is not.)
THIRD PLACE

"What you've got there, Billy, is a large-mouth barrister. Unfortunately, they're a dime-a-dozen in these parts, and pretty much clog up the lakes."--Anonymouse (JUDGE"S COMMENT: Anti-lawyer jokes? Talk about a dime-a-dozen. This makes the grade because of the word play and the use of “barrister.” Kind of classes up the joint. Don't you think?)
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"The lawyers here are piscean."--Kathy H (JUDGE"S COMMENT: Well hats off to K.H. for keeping a classic alive even at the expense of her dignity and good name. )

"Fusilli, you crazy basstard!"--Dex (JUDGE"S COMMENT: Thanks Dex. It's the die-hards who make it all worthwhile.)

Saturday, September 20, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #443








WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
"You know, Charlie, this here would make one hell of a good cartoon. No caption needed: the irony of the image speaks for itself. And with a couple of us blue collar workers standing here in the foreground, watching the destruction of a cultural touchstone for the working class, it becomes a profound commentary on the death of shared social spaces in America and on our growing cultural isolation. Jeez, it's just too bad I had to open my fuckin' mouth and ruin the moment, ain't it?"-- Evan (JUDGE'S COMENT: This cartoon needs no caption. Yeah...that's it!! It's a touchstone or some kind of isolation thing. Know what? I agree. And in that spirt, and mindful that I have a bushel of unjudged contests, this cap is hereby named the sole and exclusive winner of this contest.) 

Monday, September 8, 2014

New Yorker Anti Caption Contest #442

   

WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
"Where in hell did you learn to drive?"

--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This was the first cap entered in this contest and Jimbo knocked it out of the park. Laugh out loud funny. Maybe Jim's best anti-cap ever. It is also hit home. Full disclosure: It's something I often want to yell at Chinese women driving minivans.)
SECOND PLACE
"We should have listened to that guy yelling, 'You're gonna have to swerve, somebody.'"--NJtoTX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A masterful combination of a Dylan lyric and a terrible pun. "Gotta Serve Somebody" also takes note of the devil so it is appropriate for the image.)

THIRD PLACE

"I know I backed into you, but can we just blame you like we always do?"--NJtoTX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Unlikely that the angel would ask permission before assigning blame. Metaphorically, the devil may represent victims who have been demonized. This may also be a statement about the conflict that tears at the soul of every man. )
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"I still love you"
"I hate you even more"--Don Don (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Evil does not thrive on hate. It's more of a conquest thing. An even so, the accident is clearly the fault of the devil. You don't address that, do you Don?)
Fuckn-A Satan, we just crushed the shit out of Ollie from Kukla, Fran ans Ollie.--big G (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I don't get this but I thought it should be praised because I recall KF&O from my childhood.)
"The caption police should be here any minute."--Veteran crapper and total loser (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Remember, the caption police at the NYer won't let you get away with dirty words, racism, sexism, bad taste and horrible puns. They offer no quarter to the humorless semi-coherent rantings of the dissatisfied masses. They know not the value of Dylan references included only to placate the judge. Does this mean we should form an anti-caption police force? This could get ugly.)
The first rule of anti-capping is that your entry could NEVER ever even be considered for the real contest. Keep this in mind--Veteran capper and repeated winner (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Actually the first rule of anti-capping is: Never tell anyone outside the family what you're thinking.)


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al in la

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Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.