al in la

Monday, May 11, 2015

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest No. 475

"C'mon al, throw us a bone."--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This kind of hit home because I do have a beard and enjoy barbequing. I also feel an occasional tinge of guilt for taking the the anti-cap to its logical extreme: A wasteland of lame jokes and dumb puns lingering in cyberspace with the wanting desperate eyes of a young lad who just wants to play catch with his always-too-busy dad. If you are represented by the guy in the limo you understand the importance of time management and indifference to the suffering of others. But I am sentimental, so here's your metaphorical bone...)
Jeeves, call the Koch brothers and have them quintuple the price of chicken.--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A pointed political barb with a logical flaw. The Koch boys would take the chicken and have the man arrested for something. Also, while I have you: Former NYC mayor Ed Koch's last name rhymed with “crotch.” Detractors made good use of that. [Like having a Dallas Cowboys' QB whose last name rhymes with “homo,” say.] But the Billionaire Brothers pronounce their notorious last name in a way that sounds like “coke.” That seems unfair.)
"How do I get to Mount Clitoris?"--Greenie Stik-M-Caps (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Practice.)
"Cacciatore, you crazy bastard! How are you?"--Shelly (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Good use of a classic, albeit a counterintuitive use of BBQ chicken.)
"Christ, what an ass hole-shaped cave."--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A bit of a stretch to accommodate a classic. But maybe the guy cooking in the cave represents a persistent burning sensation, and the guy in the limo symbolizes a 4 oz. tube of roid-relief goo that costs $23. So this could be a statement about greedy pharmaceutical companies, although I realize it probably is not. )

al, it's Dr. Sumguy. You can get your internet back up for as little as $9.99/mo.--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: But we now get it “free” as part of our $102 a month cable package. [Yeah, I know. Go figure.] Quick story: While staying in a hotel in NYC a few weeks ago, we also had “free” internet, but it was slow and you were asking for trouble if you had more than one window open at a time. Luckily they also offered a “premium service” for $12 a day. That's just the way the world works.)
"Come on al ... Do something ... Any thing ... Bite the Pullet!"--Dr Sumguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The only thing that can stop a Sumguy with a bad pun is ANYONE with a better pun. It has also been said that all that's needed for bad puns to triumph, is for lazy preoccupied judges to do nothing. Noted.)

Blog Archive

al in la

My Photo
Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.