Tuesday, October 14, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #447


50 comments:

Tim H said...

"I don't know if we're getting any better, but I sure do love your 'Friends & Family' plan."

Anonymouse said...

"I couldn't get a sitter."

Kathy H said...

"I think I speak for all of us when I say that your couches are very comfy."

Tim H said...

"...and the one in the bowl thinks he's Abe Vigoda."

NJtoTX said...

"I keep having these visions where I'm losing some kind of luge event to a bird."

JohnnyB said...

We'll take the whole day bed set, except the one for the fish - he's just cat food.

JohnnyB said...

The cat's in the well and the dog is going to war and the iguana is in a sauna and the fish is in Congress. And they think I'm crazy.

Enuf Is Too Much said...

"We all have appeared numerous times in the New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest, but we're going just a little bit crazy with the judge's constantly ignoring us for months on end."

Fore!!! said...

"Doc, I know your tee-time is coming up fast, but do you really have to cram us all in like this?"

pg13 said...

"It all started when I ordered the turducken."

Dex said...

“I’m haunted by the fæces of my victims.”

boneguy said...

Just like them Doc, I come mainly to have my belly rubbed.

Anonymous said...

“You put your gerbil where?”

boneguy said...

Aside from my cat's festering colostomy, nothing much to report this week.

Dr Sumguy said...

"Mea Culpa ... Woof ... Meow Culpa!"

Anonymous said...

"We all like to play Dr. Doolittle, where I examine and talk to them.....Oh, fuck, who am I kidding. All I do is touch and lick their genitals. Let's start there?"

SalmonOfDoubt said...

I just want to know who gave me Ebola.

JohnnyB said...

I talk to them ... I play doctor ... do little things to them. You understand

Anonymous said...

"This is nothing, Doc. Wait'll you see my car."

Anonymous said...

Yo, al ni la,

Ever t6hinkds og getting speiilcheck?

Anonymous said...

"Okay, left to right—ADHD, PTSD, OCD and BP. Me? I'm just your garden variety fucked up divorcee."

boneguy said...

Isn't it great being on the top of the food chain?

Le Chifforobe said...

"Our sex life has become so conventional."

Dr Sumguy said...

"I stink, therefore I am ... (good enough for #326)!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"It all started when I nixed their favorite ... 'When Good Pets Go Bad'!"

Anonymous said...

I had this old lady who swallowed a fish... among things. When she got to the dog, I'm like all "fuck you" and shit, anything but the dog. I guess she died.

JohnnyB said...

I have an imaginary menagerie, am seeking sobriety by means of psychiatry, so use your degree and doctor me, by February I’ll pay your fee.

Kathy H said...

"Well, Doc, since I still have some time left in my session, what say we play 69 Things You Didn’t Know About Bob Dylan?"

Anonymouse said...

"Doc, I just can't shake this recurring nightmare."

Sandy Claws said...

"Doc, must every solution to life's problems be a delicious lobster?"

Sandy Claws said...

"...I mean this delicious lobster."

Anonymous said...

"Okay, Doc, I'll come clean. I'm a Petophile."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Their names. ... Id, Ego, Superego, and Nemoego."

Tim H said...

"...and thank you for curing my pet pig, Hammie."

Dr Sumguy said...

"We all met in group therapy ... E I E I Oh."

marvin sager said...

Is there such a thing as BESTIAL REGRESSION?

Tim H said...

"...and then he attributed my First Place win to a B.J.Thomas song, but I wasn't even thinking about B.J.Thomas."

Anonymous said...

Fregoli, you crazy bastard! How are you?

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

"Wait, did you say you're a psycho analyst?"

Dr. Sumguy said...

Ever since a 5 year old beat me in the anti cap,
I've sought out the comfort of animals.

Don Don said...

"Sell crazy someplace else, we'er all stocked up here."

Anonymous said...

I thought you were an analist. I'm guessing that's where you'll find the hamster.

Anonymous said...

..and then she said "My pussy's wet" And then I said, "Really? Mine hates water."

Anonymous said...

"Where are Fly and Spider ? "

LR said...

"Hello, Doctor Van Dyke. I'm the aptly-named Herrmann Hundkatzenvogelfisch.

Dr Sumguy said...

"I'll have the Chocolate Enema on Toast, Shep would like Whatever you Rolled in Sure Smells Good, Pusser will have a mouse turd over rye, Birdie is suicidal and would like a Snickers Bar, Nemo wants his East River Water changed."

Anonymous said...

"I need constant al-idation from that namby-pamby."

Tim H said...

"Here's my problem, Doc. I don't allow them on the furniture at home, but when we come here...y'know, 'mixed signals.'"

Boof said...

"So Doc,you think all of us motherfuckers have unresolved Oedipal issues?"

Dex said...

"So, nine years ago, I'm sitting there trying to think of a snarky caption for a monster truck in the middle of an orchestra. I had more hair then." Sigh.

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al in la

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BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.