"This is the hottest new restaurant in town."
"No. I don't think the Three-Range Chicken is a typo."
"The ovens here are all seen"
This Cartoon's Author Has Been Removed From Society.
How about we rip off our clothes and I give you a good stove-top stuffing right now!
Did you hear? Another one of our neighbors was horribly burned just yesterday.
"I think our legs are almost done."
"You said, 'Take me some place I've never been.'"
"I know it's a bit warm in here now, but you'll appreciate it more in mid-February when alinla gets around to judging this Contest."
They've recently expanded. This place started out as "The Lone Range".
I believe your goose is cooked,
"The soup du jour, is 'Napalm with a Twist of Lemon'!"
"The Chef's suggestion is the 'Open Table Burn Unit at Mt. Sinai'!"
The back burner got three and a half stars on Yelp.
"MARTHA! ... Backaway from the 'Flattop Grill' ... Your tit's are already small enough!"
"Your first time to 'Steak and Shake and Bake'"?
"I think the guy over there is black- go see if he's cookin' chitlins."
"Well, Obama promised range."
It was only their first date, but Bob was already Tappan her.Jim Cavanaugh
"Did you hear? Another one of our neighbors was horribly burned just yesterday."Tip o' the hat to JohnnyB.
"Apparently the cartoonist has reserved the table next to us. I'll have what he has!"
"If the waiter says, 'Be careful, these dishes are hot,' I am outta here."
"I know it's weird, but at least here at the Bug-Eyed Cafe they don't make fun of our kind."
"Burning off our fingertips was a small price to pay for having immediate access to four piping hot personal pizzas."
As hard as it is to believe, I am told this is something non billionaires do every day.
"Jew know of any other German restaurants around town?"
"Me so hungwy."
"Honey, if you want to be a Mets fan like me, you better get used to looking forward to the Hot Stove League, 'cause the regular season sucks."
"Which reminds me. Most of the women I have dated were self-cleaning. Are you?"
"Dylan. Halloween Night 1990. Ovens Auditorium. Charlotte, NC. It was hot.
"This explains why it's called 'MOMS'S CAFE' ... We do the actual cooking!"
"Can you toss my salad like your mom does?"
"I highly recommend the Seared Pork Tenderloin with aus jews sauce, Fräulein Winkelmann."
"I can't shake the feeling that we're part of some 1960's 'Kelvinator Cooktop Appliance Ad'!"
"Is that your foot or the suckling pig?"
"I think we should leave ... The signed celebrity photos were of Nero and Lucrezia Borgia!"
"All I'm saying is that major burns isn't just a character on M*A*S*H."
I'm sorry I couldn't get us seats in the microwave section.
Spoon me, Fork you
Vent, all you want?
We are the two side dishes
Let's not re-hash our problems in public
Can't wait to see bacon strip, milk shake and onions grilled
Do I smell gas or is that you?
Do I smell a cat in the oven or is that your hot pussy?(won't be judged anyway)
Hey can you ask our water for silverware next time you see him. oh yea and when I'm done fucking you we'll at least have a bun in the oven. and I'll baste it with my man-sauce. (Don't judge me)
"We're here to toast PC Vey...at his beheadst."
Welcome to the first annual "Burning Food Festival".
"I just lost my appetite! ... I think it's the background music ... 'I've Got Herpes and I'm Burnin for You'!"
"Try now we can only lose, and our love become a funeral pyre."
"I feel like singing Home on the Range."
I'll have what he's burning.
"When they said, 'Cooked at your table,' they weren't kidding. "
"This use to be a used appliance store and before that a restaurant and before that Crazy Al's Stove-A-Rama and before that a Burger King. So will you marry me?"
"Remember when you said you couldn't decide between eating out and cooking in? Well, I have a surprise for you...I gave you herpes."
"This isn't a menu ... It's an 'AIG Burn Disclaimer'!"
"Since Sears bought Benihana, it just hasn't been the same."
“DIY my ass. This business model sucks.”
"Who ordered the other two pizzas?"
"Don't look now but the guy at the next table has a freakishly small hand."
"Now that we've fucked, I need to find out if you can cook."Jim Cavanaugh
"If you don't like this, you're going to hate the strip club we're going to later."
"The good news is I don't have to tip. The bad news is you have to do the washing up."
This place sucks.
"You don't think I could tell if you were faking an orgasm?"
"No you don't have to wash the dishes and no you don't have to wash the vegetables...You did bring your card?"
I don't know how to kook. Do you know how to cook?" "I know, call Nan!""...Call Al"
"White trash version of Korean BBQ" ~ The Mrs.
"Self checkout seems to be working: Why not this?"
"Watch out. Your menu's going to catch on fire."
"Where is that waiter??!!"
"You think this is bad? They used to start off by giving the customers a rifle (Optional Bow and Arrow), a knife (Optional chain saw), and a potato shovel. If the customer wanted truffles the waiter has a trained pig, then they would show you to the back door of the restaurants back forty."
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