Monday, October 6, 2014

New Yorker Anti Caption Contest #446


75 comments:

Kathy H said...

"This is the hottest new restaurant in town."

Anonymouse said...

"No. I don't think the Three-Range Chicken is a typo."

Tim H said...

"The ovens here are all seen"

Anonymous said...

This Cartoon's Author Has Been Removed From Society.

JohnnyB said...

How about we rip off our clothes and I give you a good stove-top stuffing right now!

JohnnyB said...

Did you hear? Another one of our neighbors was horribly burned just yesterday.

Shelly said...

"I think our legs are almost done."

Anonymous said...

"You said, 'Take me some place I've never been.'"

Vox Populi said...

"I know it's a bit warm in here now, but you'll appreciate it more in mid-February when alinla gets around to judging this Contest."

boneguy said...

They've recently expanded. This place started out as "The Lone Range".

boneguy said...

I believe your goose is cooked,

Dr Sumguy said...

"The soup du jour, is 'Napalm with a Twist of Lemon'!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"The Chef's suggestion is the 'Open Table Burn Unit at Mt. Sinai'!"

boneguy said...

The back burner got three and a half stars on Yelp.

Dr Sumguy said...

"MARTHA! ... Backaway from the 'Flattop Grill' ... Your tit's are already small enough!"

Dex said...

"Your first time to 'Steak and Shake and Bake'"?

LR said...

"I think the guy over there is black- go see if he's cookin' chitlins."

Dex said...

"Well, Obama promised range."

Anonymous said...

It was only their first date, but Bob was already Tappan her.

Jim Cavanaugh

Kathy H said...

"Did you hear? Another one of our neighbors was horribly burned just yesterday."

Tip o' the hat to JohnnyB.

Dr Sumguy said...

"Apparently the cartoonist has reserved the table next to us. I'll have what he has!"

Tim H said...

"If the waiter says, 'Be careful, these dishes are hot,' I am outta here."

Anonymouse said...

"I know it's weird, but at least here at the Bug-Eyed Cafe they don't make fun of our kind."

Shelly said...

"Burning off our fingertips was a small price to pay for having immediate access to four piping hot personal pizzas."

boneguy said...

As hard as it is to believe, I am told this is something non billionaires do every day.

Anonymous said...

"Jew know of any other German restaurants around town?"

pg13 said...

"Me so hungwy."

Anonymouse said...

"Honey, if you want to be a Mets fan like me, you better get used to looking forward to the Hot Stove League, 'cause the regular season sucks."

Oven Mitts said...

"Which reminds me. Most of the women I have dated were self-cleaning. Are you?"

Kathy H said...

"Dylan. Halloween Night 1990. Ovens Auditorium. Charlotte, NC. It was hot.

Dr Sumguy said...

"This explains why it's called 'MOMS'S CAFE' ... We do the actual cooking!"

pg13 said...

"Can you toss my salad like your mom does?"

Anonymous said...

"I highly recommend the Seared Pork Tenderloin with aus jews sauce, Fräulein Winkelmann."

Dr Sumguy said...

"I can't shake the feeling that we're part of some 1960's 'Kelvinator Cooktop Appliance Ad'!"

NJtoTX said...

"Is that your foot or the suckling pig?"

Dr Sumguy said...

"I think we should leave ... The signed celebrity photos were of Nero and Lucrezia Borgia!"

Tim H said...

"All I'm saying is that major burns isn't just a character on M*A*S*H."

SalmonOfDoubt said...

I'm sorry I couldn't get us seats in the microwave section.

MitchMatch said...

Spoon me, Fork you

MitchMatch said...

Vent, all you want?

MitchMatch said...

Rock,Paper,Spatula

MitchMatch said...

Onion-ringside seats

MitchMatch said...

We are the two side dishes

MitchMatch said...

Let's not re-hash our problems in public

MitchMatch said...

Let's not re-hash our problems in public

MitchMatch said...

Can't wait to see bacon strip, milk shake and onions grilled

MitchMatch said...

Do I smell gas or is that you?

Copy Cat said...

Do I smell a cat in the oven or is that your hot pussy?

(won't be judged anyway)

Anonymous said...

Hey can you ask our water for silverware next time you see him. oh yea and when I'm done fucking you we'll at least have a bun in the oven. and I'll baste it with my man-sauce. (Don't judge me)

Anonymous said...

"We're here to toast PC Vey...at his beheadst."

boneguy said...

Welcome to the first annual "Burning Food Festival".

Dr Sumguy said...

"I just lost my appetite! ... I think it's the background music ... 'I've Got Herpes and I'm Burnin for You'!"

NJtoTX said...

"Try now we can only lose, and our love become a funeral pyre."

Anonymouse said...

"I feel like singing Home on the Range."

boneguy said...

I'll have what he's burning.

Janet said...

"When they said, 'Cooked at your table,' they weren't kidding. "

Anonymous said...

"This use to be a used appliance store and before that a restaurant and before that Crazy Al's Stove-A-Rama and before that a Burger King. So will you marry me?"

Anonymous said...

"Remember when you said you couldn't decide between eating out and cooking in? Well, I have a surprise for you...I gave you herpes."

Dr Sumguy said...

"This isn't a menu ... It's an 'AIG Burn Disclaimer'!"

Dex said...

"Since Sears bought Benihana, it just hasn't been the same."

Anonymous said...

“DIY my ass. This business model sucks.”

Satireguy said...

"Who ordered the other two pizzas?"

Satireguy said...

"Don't look now but the guy at the next table has a freakishly small hand."

Anonymous said...

"Now that we've fucked, I need to find out if you can cook."

Jim Cavanaugh

Steve_O said...

"If you don't like this, you're going to hate the strip club we're going to later."

Boof said...

"The good news is I don't have to tip. The bad news is you have to do the washing up."

smuck said...

This place sucks.

Anonymous said...

"You don't think I could tell if you were faking an orgasm?"

Don Don said...

"No you don't have to wash the dishes and no you don't have to wash the vegetables...You did bring your card?"

Anonymous said...

I don't know how to kook. Do you know how to cook?"
"I know, call Nan!"
"...Call Al"

Anonymous said...

"White trash version of Korean BBQ" ~ The Mrs.

Anonymous said...

"Self checkout seems to be working: Why not this?"

Satireguy said...

"Watch out. Your menu's going to catch on fire."

Tim H said...

"Where is that waiter??!!"

Anonymous said...

"You think this is bad? They used to start off by giving the customers a rifle (Optional Bow and Arrow), a knife (Optional chain saw), and a potato shovel. If the customer wanted truffles the waiter has a trained pig, then they would show you to the back door of the restaurants back forty."

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al in la

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Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.