Monday, September 29, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #445


73 comments:

Anonymous said...

"It'll kick a Jaguar's ass."

Dr Sumguy said...

"And it comes with a 'Bow Wow Doggy Bag Warranty'"!

Anonymous said...

"Horsepower? What the fuck is that?"

boneguy said...

Three in the tree and it lifts its leg to pee.

boneguy said...

Unfortunately, leash laws still apply.

Anonymous said...

"Emissions? You mean excretions?"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Former owner was Michael Vick!"

Satireguy said...

"If you buy this, you're fucking insane."

Anonymouse said...

"...but, your mileage may vary."

Kathy H said...

"Its former owners were Uni, Roy and Al."

Anonymous said...

We fashioned this out of Evrolet Girl's clit.

Tim H said...

"Throw in $500 more and I'll get the interior to match my jacket."

Anonymouse said...

"Around here, we don't call it a grill. We call it a Grrrrrrill!"

Kathy H said...

"This beauty gives one paws."

Tim H said...

"Zero-to-mauling-your-face in six seconds flat."

Anonymouse said...

"Just try to open the door. Just try."

boneguy said...

I understand your concerns but I can assure you it has been neutraled.

Satireguy said...

"And the anti-theft package comes standard on this model."

Dr Sumguy said...

"And it never over heats, although it may pant a little."

Dr sumguy said...

"And it comes with 'Free Roll Over Minutes'!"

Dex said...

"Automatic? No, four on the floor."

boneguy said...

So my friends, this is what happens when the American kennel club goes into the car business.

NJtoTX said...

"It runs like a cross between Fred Flintstone and the cat that had to stay out for the night."

Kathy H said...

"...and the CARFAX® report on this is killer!"

Boof said...

'If anyone tailgates this baby, they are well and truly fucked."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Flea Collars ... We don't need no stinking Flea Collars!"

Tim H said...

"What do I have to do to put you folks in this incredibly dangerous car today?"

boneguy said...

The bow-wowers here are extreme.

Anonymous said...

"It may be high mileage, but these cougars can go forever"

Anonymous said...

"Can I iinterest you in a new hybrid? "

Jim Cavanaugh

SalmonOfDoubt said...

Actually you enter this car from the front.

Anonymous said...

The benefits of renewable fuel are somewhat offset by the loss of local wildlife.

Dr Sumguy said...

"He's pedigreed ... Sire was Bullitt, bitch Christine!"

Anonymous said...

"Fuel efficiency, you crazy bastard! How the heck are you gonna beat that?"

Satireguy said...

"It's the new 2015 Coyote."

smuck said...

"It's a Charger. It eats gas."

pg13 said...

"I'll take your bitch as a trade-in."

pg13 said...

"We have a five dog-year warranty; after that, we offer half-off euthanizing."

pg13 said...

"Folks, have you ever tried to talk your way out of a speeding ticket?"

Anonymous said...

"Since when? Since Chrysler merged with Petco, that's when."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Warning! ... If you pull out too fast ... You'll leave rubber behind!"

Anonymous said...

"No Mr. Bond, You shouldn't expect this one to fly."

Satireguy said...

"I'd let you test drive it but it would probably eat you."

pg13 said...

"Look what Chevy's new plant in Chihuahua has unleashed!"

Kathy H said...

"...and with this baby, you can drive right up to the front door of the White House and no one will bother you."

pg13 said...

"We believe that the brand new Chrysler Vagina Dentata is perfect for our middle class market."

Anonymous said...

"Think of it as your second bitch."

JohnnyB said...

I'm sorry I ran over your dog.

JohnnyB said...

And, Christ, what a gas hole it has!

NJtoTX said...

"Lord, you ain’t goin’ down to no race track
See no sports car run
You don’t need no sports car
And you won't even care to have one
You can walk anytime around the block in this beast"

Anonymous said...

"Annnnnnnndddddddd...it has the most creature comforts in its class."

Anonymous said...

"It'll do zero to sixty in four seconds...when it feels like it."

boneguy said...

...and it thinks it's a lap car.

gfwrite said...

Hugs the road, especially at deer crossings.

gfwrite said...

Ahh...yeah...You can plug it in, but it might get emotionally involved.

gfwrite said...

Oh sure. It has a driverless option, ya know, if you don't feed it.













gfwrite said...

It got great mileage off the last owner.

gfwrite said...

Between you and me, don't get the service contract. It'll enjoy you changing it's oil reaaal good.

gfwrite said...

It's a rescue. Taken from a Greyhound yard where it was tied up and ignored.

Satireguy said...

"And I'll throw in my plaid sports jacket for free."

Satireguy said...

"It's the Volkswagen Rabbit Eater."

Dex said...

"Lemme show you the tail lights."

Anonymous said...

"This one's a little long in the tooth, but it's a strong runner."

Jim Cavanaugh

Steve_O said...

"...and by mpg, I mean miles per goat you feed it."

Anonymous said...

"Come back tomorrow and it'll be dead."

Anonymous said...

"She's a beast—and that's no Shih Tzu either."

Satireguy said...

"It's our version of four on the floor."

JohnnyB said...

Christ, what a gas hog!

NJtoTX said...

"The Darwin sticker comes standard."

Don Don said...

"No gas, unless you feed it something other than live chickens".

Anonymous said...

"I would not call it driving, I would call it more like "Taking it for a walk".

Anonymous said...

"Don't think twice. it's alright."

Anonymous said...

"Motorpsycho Nightmare."

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BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.