"It'll kick a Jaguar's ass."
"And it comes with a 'Bow Wow Doggy Bag Warranty'"!
"Horsepower? What the fuck is that?"
Three in the tree and it lifts its leg to pee.
Unfortunately, leash laws still apply.
"Emissions? You mean excretions?"
"Former owner was Michael Vick!"
"If you buy this, you're fucking insane."
"...but, your mileage may vary."
"Its former owners were Uni, Roy and Al."
We fashioned this out of Evrolet Girl's clit.
"Throw in $500 more and I'll get the interior to match my jacket."
"Around here, we don't call it a grill. We call it a Grrrrrrill!"
"This beauty gives one paws."
"Zero-to-mauling-your-face in six seconds flat."
"Just try to open the door. Just try."
I understand your concerns but I can assure you it has been neutraled.
"And the anti-theft package comes standard on this model."
"And it never over heats, although it may pant a little."
"And it comes with 'Free Roll Over Minutes'!"
"Automatic? No, four on the floor."
So my friends, this is what happens when the American kennel club goes into the car business.
"It runs like a cross between Fred Flintstone and the cat that had to stay out for the night."
"...and the CARFAX® report on this is killer!"
'If anyone tailgates this baby, they are well and truly fucked."
"Flea Collars ... We don't need no stinking Flea Collars!"
"What do I have to do to put you folks in this incredibly dangerous car today?"
The bow-wowers here are extreme.
"It may be high mileage, but these cougars can go forever"
"Can I iinterest you in a new hybrid? "Jim Cavanaugh
Actually you enter this car from the front.
The benefits of renewable fuel are somewhat offset by the loss of local wildlife.
"He's pedigreed ... Sire was Bullitt, bitch Christine!"
"Fuel efficiency, you crazy bastard! How the heck are you gonna beat that?"
"It's the new 2015 Coyote."
"It's a Charger. It eats gas."
"I'll take your bitch as a trade-in."
"We have a five dog-year warranty; after that, we offer half-off euthanizing."
"Folks, have you ever tried to talk your way out of a speeding ticket?"
"Since when? Since Chrysler merged with Petco, that's when."
"Warning! ... If you pull out too fast ... You'll leave rubber behind!"
"No Mr. Bond, You shouldn't expect this one to fly."
"I'd let you test drive it but it would probably eat you."
"Look what Chevy's new plant in Chihuahua has unleashed!"
"...and with this baby, you can drive right up to the front door of the White House and no one will bother you."
"We believe that the brand new Chrysler Vagina Dentata is perfect for our middle class market."
"Think of it as your second bitch."
I'm sorry I ran over your dog.
And, Christ, what a gas hole it has!
"Lord, you ain’t goin’ down to no race trackSee no sports car runYou don’t need no sports carAnd you won't even care to have oneYou can walk anytime around the block in this beast"
"Annnnnnnndddddddd...it has the most creature comforts in its class."
"It'll do zero to sixty in four seconds...when it feels like it."
...and it thinks it's a lap car.
Hugs the road, especially at deer crossings.
Ahh...yeah...You can plug it in, but it might get emotionally involved.
Oh sure. It has a driverless option, ya know, if you don't feed it.
It got great mileage off the last owner.
Between you and me, don't get the service contract. It'll enjoy you changing it's oil reaaal good.
It's a rescue. Taken from a Greyhound yard where it was tied up and ignored.
"And I'll throw in my plaid sports jacket for free."
"It's the Volkswagen Rabbit Eater."
"Lemme show you the tail lights."
"This one's a little long in the tooth, but it's a strong runner."Jim Cavanaugh
"...and by mpg, I mean miles per goat you feed it."
"Come back tomorrow and it'll be dead."
"She's a beast—and that's no Shih Tzu either."
"It's our version of four on the floor."
Christ, what a gas hog!
"The Darwin sticker comes standard."
"No gas, unless you feed it something other than live chickens".
"I would not call it driving, I would call it more like "Taking it for a walk".
"Don't think twice. it's alright."
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