Monday, September 22, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #444
















WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
It’s only considered entrapment on dry land.--SalmonOfDoubt (JUDGE"S COMMENT: Perfect anti-cap because it's smart and funny but still too stupid to pass muster with the brass at the NYer. )
SECOND PLACE
This guy's so desperate to become a lawyer, he tried to pass the sand bar.--boneguy (JUDGE"S COMMENT: By now it's clear that the bone man has his moments of quiet desperation. These yeild his best caps, among which this is not.)
THIRD PLACE

"What you've got there, Billy, is a large-mouth barrister. Unfortunately, they're a dime-a-dozen in these parts, and pretty much clog up the lakes."--Anonymouse (JUDGE"S COMMENT: Anti-lawyer jokes? Talk about a dime-a-dozen. This makes the grade because of the word play and the use of “barrister.” Kind of classes up the joint. Don't you think?)
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"The lawyers here are piscean."--Kathy H (JUDGE"S COMMENT: Well hats off to K.H. for keeping a classic alive even at the expense of her dignity and good name. )

"Fusilli, you crazy basstard!"--Dex (JUDGE"S COMMENT: Thanks Dex. It's the die-hards who make it all worthwhile.)

52 comments:

Anonymouse said...

"What you've got there, Billy, is a large-mouth barrister. Unfortunately, they're a dime-a-dozen in these parts, and pretty much clog up the lakes."

Kathy H said...

"Next time, use a worm instead of a twenty dollar bill."

Anonymous said...

"This one's a keeper, but the blue collared ones are endangered.

Jim Cavanaugh

Dr Sumguy said...

"Looks like another 'Subpoena Ad Testificandum' ... Throw em back!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Boy is this place polluted ... In my day I used to catch Orca's ... Using a 'Zsa Zsa Gabor' lure!"

Anonymous said...

"Jimmy Hoffa?"

Anonymous said...

"Out on the lake there called victims, in town there called card counters".

boneguy said...

This is the last time we fish in the Tidal Basin.

boneguy said...

No worries, you've got LSAT line. It's 185 lb.legal test.

boneguy said...

This guy's so desperate to become a lawyer, he tried to pass the sand bar.

boneguy said...

Nothing comes close to the "Goodfellas Fishing Derby".

Kathy H said...

"I understand he works at Fish & Richardson. His uncle, Abe Vigoda, got him his job."

Anonymous said...

"Well, Obama did promise us skeins."

Jim Cavanaugh

pg13 said...

"Loan sharks never let go."

pg13 said...

"Fucking invasive species."

Kathy H said...

"The lawyers here are piscean."

Anonymouse said...

"The lure of the law is lore around here."

Tim H said...

"He must specialize in liquidations."

pg13 said...

"Let's mount him."

Satireguy said...

"Son, that's a large-mouthed lawyer. You must have used a retainer for a bait."

Dex said...

"Check out the tie - there's a whole of school of 'em!"

Dex said...

"Fusilli, you crazy basstard!"

Kathy H said...

"Looks like he wet his briefs."

Anonymouse said...

Shark Week

MitchMatch said...

Pole. dancing

MitchMatch said...

Liquid assets in the bag

MitchMatch said...

Bone up ah Pete

MitchMatch said...

Fish and Chip

MitchMatch said...

Just in time for the cutting board meeting

MitchMatch said...

Look Pa, it's. Bobby. Filet

LR said...

"No, son, our fishing practices are not sustainable, but neither are his objections."

JohnnyB said...

Why don't the sharks eat these lawyers? Professional courtesy.

NJtoTX said...

"Oh, shit, that's the guy who sleeps with the fishes."

NJtoTX said...

"You're gonna need a bigger throat."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Look like you just got 'Power of Attorney'!"

Anonymouse said...

"I think he's from the firm of Hook, Line & Sinker."

Anonymous said...

"Christ, Billy! You can't hit a baseball, can't sink a basket, can't catch a football or even a fucking fish."

Anonymous said...

"Um Billy, he' s sucking your bobber."

JohnnyB said...

Another broker. Who's been stocking this lake?

Satireguy said...

"Throw him back, Bobby. There's no room for him in the boat. Heck, there's hardly room for me and the bow's full of water."

Satireguy said...

"That's good, son. It looks like he swallowed the retainer."

NJtoTX said...

"Well I'll be, by hook and by crook."

Steve_O said...

"Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to be a fish, well that's seriously fucked up."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Up a little higher Bobby ... 'I Know It When I See It'!"

Anonymous said...

WTF Billy, Bobby or whatever your name is. It looks like George W. Bush!

NJtoTX said...

"Don't lose him! I need to find out where he got that suit."

Dex said...

"Looks like a junior partner. Throw him back and we'll try for him again next year."

Tim H said...

"Bobby, now that you've got this well in hand, why don't we continue our Spanish lesson. So, what does 'La via del tren subterraneo es peligrosa' really mean?"

Anonymous said...

"Never let a piranha off the hook."

SalmonOfDoubt said...

It’s only considered entrapment on dry land.

Anonymous said...

This is a fishing trip, not a Ponzi scheme.

Anonymous said...

"...then in a couple years I'll teach you how to unhook a bra with one hand."

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