"Yeah that's right. I need a load of your shit. Whatever you can spare. You see, I judge this contest and I ran out of things to say about the entries so…"
"Why three bullpens?"
"I'm guessing that the executive bathroom around here is a bit, um, ripe."
"I’m just spitballing here, but how about you run at me stupidly and I stab you in the back?"
Spectacular hole-in-Juan last week, Bully.
Here are last weeks entries. Stomp once for first, twice for second and three times for third.
Here are the demands for monthly spousal and child support from that cow.
Are you watching "Red is the Old Red?".
"That's nothing. Wait till you see the next photo."
"So uhhh, where the fuck is Merrill Lynch?"
"I wasn't sure where to put 'I killed your dad'. It was part of my job, but it felt more like "Additional Information".
"Bull Market ... My Ass!"
"You wanna fight about it?"Jim Cavanaugh
"You're upset?? Hell, I can't believe how stuck my bare ass is to your cheap vinyl chair. You can't afford leather? Sorry, my bad."
"51 kills? ... Really! ... That's Bullshit!"
"Petit Fillet? ... Your daughter? ... Only a Roll in the Hay!"
"Hope you can read that through the bull snot."
"Even with such terrible poll numbers, you shouldn't regret tossing your hat in the ring. Everybody runs here- I mean, it's frickin' Pamplona."
"'Like a Nazi asking a rabbi for a job'…That's a good one." [nervous laughter]
"I'm a dancer. I glide through a china shops without knocking shit over."
That settles it, then. "El Torito" for lunch.
"After he bled, that red bull gave me wings!"
"I don't know how they grow oysters in the Rocky Mountains, but they sure are tasty."
"See the part where it says 'watch the young torero stand alone'? It's as if you don't even exist, pal."
The first New Yorker cartoon to have me craving a 40 ounce Schlitz Malt Liquor.
Side Note: Boneguy's entry for last week was one of the three finalists for the actual NY contest. Hope you copyrighted that entry, BG!
"It only pays when I'm holding my dick."
"The part about 'what I'd like to do to my boss' is just a joke."
Any similarity to persons living or dead is coincidental. But you know who to vote for!
"The bull fighters' union want to reduce injuries so we've switched to cow fighting. Is your wife up for it?"
The whole Juan-and-done thing is killing us at the college level.
"I know that bulls and matadors don't get along but I think I must tell you, you have cauliflower hanging out of your nostrils."
"Yeah, right. As if Derrick Rose will ever play a whole season. And Lebron would take Jordan any day."
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