"You're not Pete Townshend, and that wasn't kiddie porn research you were doing."
"It's sex to one, half dozing to another."
That may be an advantage to a torn rotator cuff, but it doesn't make your playing any better.
You're supposed to do the "whirlybird" trick with your penis.
"'RapidFire' ... Just like our sex life!"
"Do you know 'You're Firing Blanks'? ... No! ... But if you hum a few bars, I'll ......
I feel even more sorry for Keith Moon's kids.
"You need an amp."
"As long as you stay out there we're both unplugged."Jim Cavanaugh
You don't have to do the Reading Rainbow theme before every bedtime story, Dad.
There's no guitar solo like that in "Lay Lady Lay", which is a fucking inappropriate song to be playing right now, Dad.
"I get it - the 60's were cool dad, now just smash the sucker and get the fuck out of my room."
I see you're loving your new shoulder prosthesis , Dad.
"Sing a song to light my fireRemember Jim that wayThey've all found another placeA place where you should play..."
"Stop me, If you've heard this one!"
"Well, Obama did promise flange."
"Really great, Dad. Now try doing it without farting."
"Do you know ... 'I Can't Wait For The Break'(ing bad)!"
Penny thinking ... (banjeered in a galaxy, far, far, away)
Stick antiperspirant made having to dry your armpits obsolete, Dad.
Maybe it wouldn't look so lame if you actually put some strings on the damn thing?
Please go back to playing the air guitar.
"Are you combining Vicodin with Viagra again?"
"I think you broke your g-string again, dad."
"When I said I wanted a windmill in the bedroom, this isn't what I meant. What the fuck did I mean anyhow...?"
"That was not the kind of talent I was thinking of".
"Guitar solos are great but once again you’re premature."
"Can't I just have a climax and say, "Thank you, you were wonderful". Or do you really have to own me; my heart and soul?"
"You farted, admit it?"
Why didn't you have six arms when I asked you to help me with the groceries?
"You are misplacing all that energy."
"Who are you? Who who who who. Who the fuck are you?"
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