Monday, September 30, 2013

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #398



63 comments:

Puffin said...

"The burglars around here must be really big motherfuckers."

Tim H said...

"I'm not sure about the chain, but that huge head sculpture in the back is AWESOME!"

Anonymous said...

"They call him boneguy because...well, you'll find out."

Satireguy said...

"They say the houses around here move quickly."

Anonymous said...

"He said if his wife doesn't come to the door she's probably lying in the backyard."

Anonymouse said...

"Now, that's what I call homeland security."

Kathy H said...

"No wonder I got this address through a chain letter."

boneguy said...

I'm getting tired of guessing if it will be Bruce or the Hulk who'll be answering the door.

Dr Sumguy said...

"This is it? ... Dick Chainey's birthplace!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Careful! ... Every time he opens the door the house moves!"

JimM said...

"What, you've never seen a mortgage?"

pg13 said...

"I think this calls for the peanut butter trick."

boneguy said...

It was this or a counterfeit ADT Security sign.

Anonymous said...

"Well, Obama did promise us chains."

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

......here comes the pitch..and there's a deep drive to left field!! This ball is going..GOING..GONNNNE!!!!

Grandma said...

"I was only going to fuck you because I heard you have a huge dog."

cta said...

"Quiet! Are you trying to wake it up? It just went to bed!"
"What just went to bed?"
"The Beast."

Anonymous said...

"Todd, I think Jesse got out."

Anonymous said...

"Not another Dick Cheney, George W. Bush pun."

boneguy said...

Did Marge and Bill get that new Labradoodle/T-Rex mix?

Dex said...

"Damn, I left 'The Watchtower' in the car"

Anonymous said...

"This 'Wellcome Wagon' visit doesn't feel right. Also I'm concerned by the giant Black and Tan Coonhound at the end of that chain!"

Puffin said...

"Ted's mother-in-law must be staying over."

Shelly said...

"As a registered sex offender who's no stranger to a little bestiality, this is the last neighbor to whom you have to introduce yourself. What could go possibly go wrong?"

Tad Paxson said...

"Oh, that's just Quasimodo. What'd you expect when you saw Lawn Chainy?"

LR said...

"I heard that their chairs are made from the bones of mailmen."

boneguy said...

Looks like someone got a head start on the Gitmo surplus sale!

Anonymouse said...

"That's one hell of a sub-leash."

pg13 said...

"If dogs run free, then why not we?"

boneguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr Sumguy said...

"I don't know why, but my mind keeps repeating the same Hannah Montana lyric ... 'Something Bigger Than Us'!"

Anonymous said...

"How good, how good does it feel to be free?"

Jim Cavanaugh

NJ-to-TX said...

"Mary wore three links of that chain. Killed her."

boneguy said...

Huge ''Alice in Chains" fans.

Dr Sumguy said...

"Our you pulling our chain, Tom 'Cheney'?"

Shelly said...

"As if someone really wants to steal their giant Polynesian stone bust."

Anonymous said...

"It was forged."

Puffin said...

"They're feeding that pit bull steroids again."

NJ-to-TX said...

"They tried to leave LinkedIn."

Kathy H said...

"Maybe it's just objet d'art."

Satireguy said...

"Apparently they couldn't afford landslide insurance."

Satireguy said...

"I hope the fuck he's housebroken."

REX said...

"Wouldn't flood insurance have been more practical?"

Anonymous said...

"Where does a 500 pound mother-in-law sleep?"

Anonymous said...

"I see Kathy H. has been here."

Jim Cavanaugh

Kathy H said...

"And remember, Honey, don't upset the Cavanaughs by mentioning their slow-witted boy, Jimmy. Or, the chain."

Jim Fan said...

I think you're out of your weight class, Kathy

Anonymous said...

Battle of the bottom feeders.....

pg13 said...

"If you want to bring down the house, just throw his ball."

boneguy said...

12 Years a Slave theme night just got weirder.

Satireguy said...

"Wouldn't a garage be easier?"

NJ-to-TX said...

"Don't you remember what happened to their last house?"

Anonymous said...

"Christ! Who the fuck would steal an arborvitae?"

arbor vitae |ˈärbər ˈvītē| (also arborvitae)
noun
1 a North American and eastern Asian evergreen coniferous tree of the cypress family.

Dr Sumguy said...

"It's historical ... It was used in the movie ... 'UP'!"

pg13 said...

"House arrest."

Tim H said...

"Something tells me that we're having link sausages, again."

Don Don said...

"It is tied to Dick Cheney's soul".

Anonymous said...

"Looks like Mel and Mongo are over for lunch too."

Bi Red said...

Its adorable - straight off of a charm braclet.

Big Red said...

Evrolet, Oh-So-Played, Can't-Get-Laid - WHOEVER - she has to curb her dog like the rest of us.

Kathy H said...

"Don't look now, but I think this house has been kidnapped by Somali pirates."

NJ-to-TX said...

First Place (actual winner)

"If their dog starts humping your leg, let it finish."

Submitted by Melissa Sisk, Charlotte, N.C.

NJ-to-TX said...

"Fuck this, Al."

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BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.