"Okay, It's do or die time!"
This guy's a GM's dream. Great slider and zero pension liabilities.
"Scouting report says this guy can really scratch his crotch."
"They call him boneguy because....well, you'll find out."
He's the reason we don't go to Haiti to scout talent.
"Watch out for the cutter inside."
It's A-Rod's latest ploy to avoid giving a urine sample.
It was the salmon mousse.
"And they've got Beelzebub playingshortstop."
"He's a shoe-in for the Scythe Young Award."
"Fuck! I've gotta face that black bastard again."
"Don't just stand there, Jesus. Go cut the head off a chicken."
"Can't pitch worth shit ... Usually throws 4 balls ... His name ... 'Joaquin Dead'!"
"These knuckleballers are a dying breed."
"Just traded from the 'Cincinnati Deads' ... The good news ... Doesn't need benefits!"
Catfish, million-dollar-man,Nobody can throw the ball like Catfish can, you know, because of the ALS and being dead.
"Too bad you're in the cleanup spot, because I just shit my pants."
"I'm dropping 'Red Man', and switching to garlic!"
"I have my routines, but I'm not really superstitious."
"Watch out for his submarine pitch."
"Watch out for the 'Phlegmball'!"
I should have boned up on their pitching staff.
"Oh, ring them bells for the chosen few. Who will judge the many when the game is through?"
"He's every team's closer"
"Looks like we're returning to the Dead Ball Era."
"You're fucked. They're bringing in a right-hander."
No matter what he pitches I end up making a sacrifice.
"The outlook for the Mets next year? It looks grim again."Jim Cavanaugh
His brother, the Grim Leaper, plays center-field for the Dodgers.
"It's like they say - if you play when you don't field well, you'll like face some Grim Reaper-cussions."
"I don't think this game is a live broadcast."
"With his knuckle ball you get actual knuckle bones.""This is his first outing after rotator snuff surgery."
"Eat much, asshole!!?"
"Just reinstated after 'Cheating Death'!"
I knew Edyie Gourmet caught. I didn't know that she also pitched.
"I heard they acquired a killer reliever".
"If he beans you , what ever you do do not charge the mound".
"Makes sense, it's Bat Night"
"Just think of him as the Ray Lewis of baseball"
"...not as weird as a white guy and a Negro joined at the hip."
"He's from Mitch & Murray. Levene can't close the leads he is given—he can't close shit..he IS shit."
'He's just turned down the Astros. A no brainer because those dudes are half dead already."
Are you Ray Chapman? You're up next.
"He used to be an Angel."
You've gotta be shittin' me with these captions
We wouldn't shit you...you're are favorite turd.
"I fucked his wife last night"
"Hey, fuck you, Death, you weak-armed fucking pussyfart!"
Who's that throwing the first pitch? I think it's Mickey Mantle's liver donor.
"Instead of RISP, he's all about RIPs."
"Isn't Conigliari up next?"Jim Cavanaugh
"I hear he won the Cy Old Award."
"Great their bringing in the rally killer."
This guys got nothin'. You're about to see a dead man walking.
"Garcia's in for The Dead. He's Gotta Serve Somebody up a fat pitch."
"Last time he pitched to 'Sisyphus', he got a 'Dead Arm'!"
"The throwers here are obscene."Jim Cavanaugh
"He was just called up from their Triple-A team in Hades."
"Apparently he has a wicked hanging slider."
"This time I'll get on base, and you can offer up the sacrifice."
"He's a shoe-in for this year's Die Young Award."
"We want a pitcher! Not a belly itcher!"
"Looks like they rushed him off the DL."
"The last time I saw 50,000 Dead fans, Jerry Garcia was playing."
"Wait here. I gotta go relieve myself."
"Don't worry, kid. Sooner or later we all gotta face him."Jim Cavanaugh
And it's Conigliaro, not Conigliari.Jim Cavanaugh
"I thought Mariano retired."
"Relax. The Astros need to put fanniesin the seats."
"And tomorrow it's Osama bin Laden bobblehead night."
As far as the kids are concerned this guy's the one and only Mr October.
"Congilaro you crazy bastard? How areyou"Jim Cavendish
"He brought a couple of pitches that will put you in stitches before you end up in ditches- do you mind...?
"I hear he's a dead ringer for Nolan Ryan."
"You're up next. I don't care what the fucking lineup card says."
"It's Bob Marley ... He used to play for the 'Boston Wailers'!"
They're paying him seven million rather than bury zee dough.
His fastball will cremate you.
Got'm from the Devil Rays.
A hoodie. Where's neighborhood watch when you need it?
Tosses a lot down in the dirt.
And the told me I had to take off MY gold chain!!??
"I thought A-Rod was on the injured list!"
"Take my hand - We're off to never never-land"
"His name is Al. Pitches for LA. He'll kill you with his comments--when he gets around to it."
"Hell must have frozen over. That would explain both his and your appearance in this New Yorker cartoon."
"Pitcher? I assumed him to be a disrobed faceless form of no position."
"Mr. October 31st"
I have mixed feelings about Dick Cheney throwing out the first pitch
"They just got him from la, and he's close-captioned for the comedic impaired."
Welcome to the Carolina League, home of "Lucky Strike"
.... Organ Donor Night
"I understand that Scott Boras represents him."
"Pete Rose start managing again?"
"You shoulda seen what he did to alinla; he's been on the DL for eight weeks now."
"Fuck this, Al."
Post a Comment