Sunday, October 6, 2013

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #399



76 comments:

Dr Sumguy said...

"I believe this contest ends with a 'Draw'!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Fuck You And The Knight You Rode In On!"

Dr Sumguy said...

1. Ne2 Nc6 2. Nd2 Nf6

LR said...

"Ennis, after that long day's journey into a knight, I can't quit you."

NJ-to-TX said...

"I don't care about your damn king - your bishops have been abusing our pawns."

NJ-to-TX said...

"I'm not really a knight. I'm actually a drag queen."

boneguy said...

Perhaps you misunderstood me when I said I was a big Knight Rider fan.

Dr Sumguy said...

"My Serbian sister just married your brother! ... 'Czechmate'!"

Tim H said...

"I don't know 'bout you, but for me this is the best workout since ThighMaster®."

boneguy said...

"This ain't so bad. Higgins at the Bar-X Ranch got rooked."

boneguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr Sumguy said...

Slovakian, not Serbian.

pg13 said...

"Go ahead, make the next move!"

pg13 said...

"I had a great time taking your queen last night."

cta said...

"Your move, Al."

pg13 said...

"I reckon that's the last time you'll ever move in a straight line again, you cheatin' sonofabitch. Now hand over yer fuckin' Toys 'R' Us gift cards!"

Kathy H said...

"C'mon, pardner. We're gonna take on those punks from Brooklyn."

boneguy said...

I find Stickum applied liberally to the scrotum really helps me stay aboard.

boneguy said...

What kind of cowboy name is Spassky?

Dex said...

"You could say I've had a checkered past."

pg13 said...

"We emphasize endgames here at Light in the Loafers Chess Camp."

Tim H said...

"This time, I'll be Bobby Fischer and you be Boris Spassky."

Tim H said...

[...Sorry, boneguy, I was too quick on the draw.]

Satireguy said...

"Good knight."

Satireguy said...

"No problem. Just take one step to the right and two steps forward. Or two steps to the right and one forward. Or......"

Anonymous said...

"I know it's a stalemate, but I can't quit you, Ennis"

pg13 said...

"In ceremonies of the horsemen, even the pawn must hold a grudge."

Obligatory D said...

"Your move Maimudes"

Anonymous said...

"I'd love to blow you, Ennis, but I wouldn't take a dong out on a knight like this."

Jim Cavanaugh

NJ-to-TX said...

"When you hump it, you have to really hump it. Do not go gentle into that good knight."

Dr Sumguy said...

"And I was 'Knighted' for inventing 'The Anal Western Saddle' ... And you?"

Levon Delight said...

I'm sick of these one knight stands

Finally Average-Sized said...

"I think I just won the Triple Crown, as in the head of my bruise and swollen cock is now three times its normal size."

Anonymous said...

d

Anonymous said...

"The best simul I ever had was in a whorehouse."

Anonymous said...

"Best square dance ever."

Puffin said...

"If we shoot as straight as we ride, this here showdown is shaping up to be one epic fail."

boneguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
boneguy said...

Any interest in joining a posse? We're hunting down joke thieves and that good for nothing Tim H. is number one on our most wanted list.

boneguy said...

You think this is tiring? Try judging a cartoon contest once every five weeks.

Anonymouse said...

"I see by your outfit, that you are a cowboy."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Posse! Posse! ... I thought you said 'Pussy'!!!"

boneguy said...

Sumguy is number two on the list.

Number two on the list said...

"Yes I can come. Can I bring the kids?"

Malshapen Scrotums of the Purple Sage said...

"what are the chances? Two cowboys in the same desert with Equinetiasis of the Balls. Let's be friends."

Kathy H said...

"Pardner, that is the best Dodge City Gambit I have ever seen!"

Shelly said...

"When I heard we were getting hybrids I didn't know they were mating horses with Segways."

Anonymous said...

"En pissant you to, asshole."

Tim H said...

"When I said that I wanted to be a part of the horsey set, I didn't mean the horsey chess set."

Puffin said...

"This sucks.I'm going back to my mechanical bull."

Anonymous said...

"Fer you it's three feet backwards and six feet down, Trayvon."

Don Don said...

"Have you seen the piss boy?"

Anonymouse said...

"I'm thinking of trading in my Ten-Gallon Stetson for a Kentucky Derby."

Kathy H said...

"I'm headin' to a protest in Frisco. You in?"

boneguy said...

I was all for Nixon until he gave that Checkers speech.

Anonymous said...

"Let's put another pawn on the Barbie, eh mate?"

Anonymous said...

"Time and the Santa Ana winds are on my side."

Anonymous said...

"I don't see no dang Nimzo Indians."

NJ-to-TX said...

"I got mine cheap - it was in some guy's bed. I hear he screamed like a little girl."

Dex said...

.sdrawkcab gniklat si thginK etihW eht dnA

Big Red said...

This is the last time that I go to a dude ranch advertised in The New Yorker

Big Red said...

What kind of mushrooms were those, Salvador?

Anonymous said...

"Fucking Quarter Horses."

Jim Cavanaugh

Dr Sumguy said...

"Go ahead, make my move!"

gfwrite said...

I like to get three squares a day.

NJ-to-TX said...

"I'm warning you, stay away from Queen Lily. Nothing would ever come between Lily and the King, except maybe the Jack of Hearts."

Dr Sumguy said...

"To the cartoonist ... On the count of 3 ... Draw!"

boneguy said...

"What's my sign? Chess Peices."

pg13 said...

"Let's move on out before we get captured."

Puffin said...

"This bronco has some real weird ass moves on her. How about yours?"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Ned! ... I'm about to 'Amputate me Timber'! ... Please call Snap-on ... NOW!"

Anonymouse said...

"Now I know why they call 'em chaps."

Kathy H said...

"I'm on board."

Don Don said...

“Shoulda known somtin wasn’t right from a guy that sells horses AND affordable health care."

Big Red said...

Excuse me, do you have any Grey Poupon?

NJ-to-TX said...

"Fuck this, Al."

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BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.