"I believe this contest ends with a 'Draw'!"
"Fuck You And The Knight You Rode In On!"
1. Ne2 Nc6 2. Nd2 Nf6
"Ennis, after that long day's journey into a knight, I can't quit you."
"I don't care about your damn king - your bishops have been abusing our pawns."
"I'm not really a knight. I'm actually a drag queen."
Perhaps you misunderstood me when I said I was a big Knight Rider fan.
"My Serbian sister just married your brother! ... 'Czechmate'!"
"I don't know 'bout you, but for me this is the best workout since ThighMaster®."
"This ain't so bad. Higgins at the Bar-X Ranch got rooked."
Slovakian, not Serbian.
"Go ahead, make the next move!"
"I had a great time taking your queen last night."
"Your move, Al."
"I reckon that's the last time you'll ever move in a straight line again, you cheatin' sonofabitch. Now hand over yer fuckin' Toys 'R' Us gift cards!"
"C'mon, pardner. We're gonna take on those punks from Brooklyn."
I find Stickum applied liberally to the scrotum really helps me stay aboard.
What kind of cowboy name is Spassky?
"You could say I've had a checkered past."
"We emphasize endgames here at Light in the Loafers Chess Camp."
"This time, I'll be Bobby Fischer and you be Boris Spassky."
[...Sorry, boneguy, I was too quick on the draw.]
"No problem. Just take one step to the right and two steps forward. Or two steps to the right and one forward. Or......"
"I know it's a stalemate, but I can't quit you, Ennis"
"In ceremonies of the horsemen, even the pawn must hold a grudge."
"Your move Maimudes"
"I'd love to blow you, Ennis, but I wouldn't take a dong out on a knight like this."Jim Cavanaugh
"When you hump it, you have to really hump it. Do not go gentle into that good knight."
"And I was 'Knighted' for inventing 'The Anal Western Saddle' ... And you?"
I'm sick of these one knight stands
"I think I just won the Triple Crown, as in the head of my bruise and swollen cock is now three times its normal size."
"The best simul I ever had was in a whorehouse."
"Best square dance ever."
"If we shoot as straight as we ride, this here showdown is shaping up to be one epic fail."
Any interest in joining a posse? We're hunting down joke thieves and that good for nothing Tim H. is number one on our most wanted list.
You think this is tiring? Try judging a cartoon contest once every five weeks.
"I see by your outfit, that you are a cowboy."
"Posse! Posse! ... I thought you said 'Pussy'!!!"
Sumguy is number two on the list.
"Yes I can come. Can I bring the kids?"
"what are the chances? Two cowboys in the same desert with Equinetiasis of the Balls. Let's be friends."
"Pardner, that is the best Dodge City Gambit I have ever seen!"
"When I heard we were getting hybrids I didn't know they were mating horses with Segways."
"En pissant you to, asshole."
"When I said that I wanted to be a part of the horsey set, I didn't mean the horsey chess set."
"This sucks.I'm going back to my mechanical bull."
"Fer you it's three feet backwards and six feet down, Trayvon."
"Have you seen the piss boy?"
"I'm thinking of trading in my Ten-Gallon Stetson for a Kentucky Derby."
"I'm headin' to a protest in Frisco. You in?"
I was all for Nixon until he gave that Checkers speech.
"Let's put another pawn on the Barbie, eh mate?"
"Time and the Santa Ana winds are on my side."
"I don't see no dang Nimzo Indians."
"I got mine cheap - it was in some guy's bed. I hear he screamed like a little girl."
.sdrawkcab gniklat si thginK etihW eht dnA
This is the last time that I go to a dude ranch advertised in The New Yorker
What kind of mushrooms were those, Salvador?
"Fucking Quarter Horses."Jim Cavanaugh
"Go ahead, make my move!"
I like to get three squares a day.
"I'm warning you, stay away from Queen Lily. Nothing would ever come between Lily and the King, except maybe the Jack of Hearts."
"To the cartoonist ... On the count of 3 ... Draw!"
"What's my sign? Chess Peices."
"Let's move on out before we get captured."
"This bronco has some real weird ass moves on her. How about yours?"
"Ned! ... I'm about to 'Amputate me Timber'! ... Please call Snap-on ... NOW!"
"Now I know why they call 'em chaps."
"I'm on board."
“Shoulda known somtin wasn’t right from a guy that sells horses AND affordable health care."
Excuse me, do you have any Grey Poupon?
"Fuck this, Al."
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