Monday, November 7, 2011

The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #310


WINNERS
FIRST PLACE"Why not Bil Keane?" --Carol Lou Ellen (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Long time anti-cappers will get this one. The creator of the highly durable corn-ball cartoon, Family Circus, died on Nov. 8 at age 89. His link to this contest: When a well liked person passed on, the founder of the Anti-Cap, Daniel Radosh, would often blog: "Why not Bil Keane?" It was an ironic and slightly sinister expression of frustration. [Like wondering why, say, Paul Wellstone dies in a plane crash while Dick Cheney survives five heart attacks.] It was a comment on Keane's bland, trite and almost-never-funny cartoon. Radosh wondered why someone of such limited perspective could endure for decades while far more edgy and creative types are swept away. As it happens Mr. Kearne is gone--may he rest in peace--but his awful little cartoon continues in newspapers across America. It is now penned by his son Jeffy. Finally a touch of irony.)
SECOND PLACE"My German's a little rusty, but they're offering some sort of vacation. A free train ride to go camping. To help with your concentration I think. It's in the scenic Dachau region of Germany." --smuck (JUDGE'S COMMENT: It's actually more of a working vacation. A bit long winded but edgy and obnoxious.)
THIRD PLACE"Occupy Czechoslovakia." --Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Topical and historically significant. It is also a country I could never spell, so I was glad to see it go.)
HONORABLE MENTIONS""I said cartoon, not platoon!"-- Dr Sumguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: And we asked for humorous, not obvious.)

"He's on the furniture again. Down!" --Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: An invading army is not nearly as troublesome as an untrained dog. That's what this tells us.)
"If you're looking for Anne, she's behind the bookcase."
"Chronicles 29:11-13 - Now, our Lord, we give you tanks."
"Oh, don't worry, dear. They're only looking for Jews." --Glenn (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Glenn is one of the best Anti Cappers we have left--and he's even comfortable with a dumb pun. These three entries show why.)
"`The internet is an anonymous playground', you said. `Nobody will care about one guy looking at infant porn', you said..." ---Damon (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This suggests that he was comfortable telling his wife. That part I don't buy.)
There's a battle outside and it is ragin'.It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls.For the times they are a-changin'. --butt kisser (JUDGE'S COMMENT: And let's not forget that the present now will later be past. That is one concept that gives me comfort these days.)
"This is the end," Alifalfa sobbed, clutching her heaving bosom & pausing only occasionally to scratch her itching left armpit while her sapphire eye, brimming with salty tears, turned helplessly towards the gibbous moon that hung in the brooding sky like a tobacco-stained nail paring. --- Plagerized.-- Dr Sumguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Nice one, but the word is "toward." Not "towards.")

78 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Sure it was cheap . . . but what about 'location, location, location'???"


---blw

boneguy said...

"Honey, what did you say when I told you we could get a house real cheap overlooking the proving grounds?"

"No tanks."

Dr Sumguy said...

""I said cartoon, not platoon!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Dear, did you pay our ES 1040 estimated tax this quarter?"

Glenn said...

"If you're looking for Anne, she's behind the bookcase."

Angus Podgorny said...

"That's just a painting, you moron. The window's behind me."

Angus Podgorny said...

"Relax. If we're not terrorists, we have nothing to fear."

Kathy H said...

"Honey, if those are the Girl Scouts, I ordered six boxes of mint thins."

Grandma said...

"Dear, please inquire with those brave young men whether they'd care to friendly-fire all over my d├ęcolletage"

Damon said...

"They're just soldier zombies, Dan. Put out the vampire dog."

Damon said...

"`The internet is an anonymous playground', you said. `Nobody will care about one guy looking at infant porn', you said..."

Richard H said...

"According to Old Moore's Almanac, this is the month when the first economy-class Space tourists are signed up. The Russian Army isn't supposed to reach our doorstep till December"

Tim H said...

"Says here in the TV Guide that tonight there's a 'very special' Mike & Molly."

Anonymouse said...

"If it's all the same to you, I don't like being a person of interest."

Glenn said...

"Chronicles 29:11-13 - Now, our Lord, we give you tanks."

Irma said...

"Well, since they're here, Bill, check to see if they'll move the citrus trees to the porch and remove that darn oak stump."

Mrs. Thompson said...

"Me and THIS army, you son of a bitch!"

Glenn said...

"No women, no blacks, no Latinos, and no gays? That can't be today's army."

Anonymous said...

"Close the blinds."

Jim Cavanaugh

Saitireguy said...

"Tell then dinner's at six and not a minute sooner."

Saitireguy said...

"Tell them dinner's at six and not a minute sooner."

Beth said...

"I don't care if they're sins or dwarves. Just tell them to get in here and scrub my mutt."

Glenn said...

"You mean not one of the IUDs exploded?"

boneguy said...

Turns out "Red Dawn" is their favorite movie too.

Kathy H said...

"He said he was taking them out of Iraq, but he didn't say nothing about putting them here."

boneguy said...

Jerry stop farting around and just tell them where Sarah Palin's place is.

Anonymous said...

"He's on the furniture again. Down!"

Tim H said...

"I said...Semper Fi!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Dear. Did you foreget to hang the yellow ribbon,- again?"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Dear. Did you forget to return the VFW nickel?"

Dex said...

"Tell them this is 'Occupy Bungalow' and we're not moving until Michael Moore shows up."

Paleo Paul said...

Hi, we're selling cookies to help pay for our next war and wonder if you'd be willing to buy a box or two.

Anonymous said...

"I'm sure they're just curious about why the legs on our coffee table are so short."

Jim Cavanaugh

AW said...

"Why do you two look so surprised? You're the ones who insisted on buying a home on the Internet. It's so close to the beach, you said. There's no one around, you said. Lots of places to do my business, Fritzy said. Well, this is a fine mess."

AW said...

"Why do you two look so surprised? You're the ones who insisted on buying a home on the Internet. It's so close to the beach, you said. There's no one around, you said. Lots of places to do my business, Fritzy said. Well, this is a fine mess."

NAMBY said...

"Hun? I think we have company. Charlie Company."

Quinn the Eskimo said...

"Ask them if they have turrets syndrome."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Wanna tell me about the parking ticket?"

Dr Sumguy said...

"The Camp Pendleton Library sent them. Something about an overdue military book, Lose the Love Handles!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"It turn's out that Winkle, is actually the most decorated war dog, Sergeant Stubby!"

boneguy said...

It looks like Amazon still has close air support available and it comes with free shipping.

Glenn said...

"Rod Serling's probably smoking another cigarette and rolling over in his grave."
("Roll cameras. Action!")

Blonde said...

Obviously they love the smell of burnt toast in the morning!

Carol Lou Ellen said...

"Why not Bil Keane?"

Anonymouse said...

"...indeed..."

Wife #6 said...

"Osama-honey, you didn't actually think anyone fell for that, did you?"

Scud Blitzer said...

"Just B.A. them, sweetie. They'll run for cover, screaming "ICBM, ICBM!!"

boneguy said...

"What did the German army say when Herman Cain demanded they surrender?"

"9-9-9".

Anonymous said...

"The smiling one wants to hump Muffy."

Austin said...

The Second and Third Amendments exercising the First Amendment.

Dr Sumguy said...

"This is the end," Alifalfa sobbed, clutching her heaving bosom & pausing only occasionally to scratch her itching left armpit while her sapphire eye, brimming with salty tears, turned helplessly towards the gibbous moon that hung in the brooding sky like a tobacco-stained nail paring. --- Plagerized.

smuck said...

"My German's a little rusty, but they're offering some sort of vacation. A free train ride to go camping. To help with your concentration I think. It's in the scenic Dachau region of Germany."

Anonymous said...

"Finally, it was Bill Keane."

Shelly said...

"Oh, they're from that eastern college with the name like oil or insurance- something about the long, hard hours you put in with those boys."

Anonymous said...

"Must have something to do with Joe Paterno. Everything does."

Anonymous said...

"You're the one who didn't put the flag up for Veterans Day."

Glenn said...

"Oh, don't worry, dear. They're only looking for Jews."

Joly Waters said...

"With my three, your two, and the dogs two, we ought to be able to accommodate them."

Quinn the Eskimo said...

"Nice to have someone watching our backs. Happy Veterans Day, Henry."

boneguy said...

Ask them if they know anything about the armor piercing shell that just went through the guest room and killed Grandma.

Anonymous said...

"I'm haunted by the faces of my veterans."

Jim Cavanaugh

Quinn the Eskimo said...

"I hope this retreat comes with a spa."

Richard H said...

"It's not that I mind getting invaded by mistake, Stan, it's just I'm not sure that Michele Bachmann is really qualified to be Commander-in-Chief

Anonymous said...

"I told the colonel what I caught you two doing together."

Anonymous said...

"Relax, Harry, they're just part of that fucking occupy movement."

Anonymous said...

"You handle it. I'm reading My Pet Goat."

butt kisser said...

There's a battle outside and it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls.
For the times they are a-changin'.

Damon said...

"I'm 82, and they have tanks. Ask me again if I shit my pants."

Damon said...

"I'm 83, and they have tanks. Ask me again if I shit myself."

(Edit for the skirt; 1+ year for the funny.)

Anonymous said...

"Is it an invasion of privacy if you are an exhibitionist?"

Anonymous said...

"Occupy Czechoslovakia."

David Macharelli said...

"Is this when we thank the troops for our freedom?"

Anonymouse said...

"Look on the bright side: At least we don't have a hippo in our living room."

boneguy said...

This is what you get for changing our name to Schwartzkopf from Smith, idiot.

Austin said...

Can we use your bathroom?

Dr Sumguy said...

And so the little farmhouse lay right smack on the Soviet Polish border. When asked what country they would like to belong to. The meek vertically challenged farmer replied --- POLAND, I can't take another Soviet winter!

Utellme said...

It's the Guestapo. Make them feel at home, honey.

Anonymous said...

"We probably would have a fighting chance if we had a hippo in the room."


---blw

Blog Archive

al in la

My photo
Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.