FIRST PLACE"Why not Bil Keane?" --Carol Lou Ellen (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Long time anti-cappers will get this one. The creator of the highly durable corn-ball cartoon, Family Circus, died on Nov. 8 at age 89. His link to this contest: When a well liked person passed on, the founder of the Anti-Cap, Daniel Radosh, would often blog: "Why not Bil Keane?" It was an ironic and slightly sinister expression of frustration. [Like wondering why, say, Paul Wellstone dies in a plane crash while Dick Cheney survives five heart attacks.] It was a comment on Keane's bland, trite and almost-never-funny cartoon. Radosh wondered why someone of such limited perspective could endure for decades while far more edgy and creative types are swept away. As it happens Mr. Kearne is gone--may he rest in peace--but his awful little cartoon continues in newspapers across America. It is now penned by his son Jeffy. Finally a touch of irony.)
SECOND PLACE"My German's a little rusty, but they're offering some sort of vacation. A free train ride to go camping. To help with your concentration I think. It's in the scenic Dachau region of Germany." --smuck (JUDGE'S COMMENT: It's actually more of a working vacation. A bit long winded but edgy and obnoxious.)
THIRD PLACE"Occupy Czechoslovakia." --Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Topical and historically significant. It is also a country I could never spell, so I was glad to see it go.)
HONORABLE MENTIONS""I said cartoon, not platoon!"-- Dr Sumguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: And we asked for humorous, not obvious.)
"He's on the furniture again. Down!" --Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: An invading army is not nearly as troublesome as an untrained dog. That's what this tells us.)
"If you're looking for Anne, she's behind the bookcase."
"Chronicles 29:11-13 - Now, our Lord, we give you tanks."
"Oh, don't worry, dear. They're only looking for Jews." --Glenn (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Glenn is one of the best Anti Cappers we have left--and he's even comfortable with a dumb pun. These three entries show why.)
"`The internet is an anonymous playground', you said. `Nobody will care about one guy looking at infant porn', you said..." ---Damon (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This suggests that he was comfortable telling his wife. That part I don't buy.)
There's a battle outside and it is ragin'.It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls.For the times they are a-changin'. --butt kisser (JUDGE'S COMMENT: And let's not forget that the present now will later be past. That is one concept that gives me comfort these days.)
"This is the end," Alifalfa sobbed, clutching her heaving bosom & pausing only occasionally to scratch her itching left armpit while her sapphire eye, brimming with salty tears, turned helplessly towards the gibbous moon that hung in the brooding sky like a tobacco-stained nail paring. --- Plagerized.-- Dr Sumguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Nice one, but the word is "toward." Not "towards.")