Sunday, October 30, 2011

The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #309

WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
Helen Keller was always easy to find in post-ride reaction photos.--Austin (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Remarkably, this is our first Helen Keller cap. Long over due but if it really was her, she's be screaming her hands off.)

SECOND PLACE
"Propofol? Oh, this ride is gonna be a thriller!"--Glenn. (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Topical yet depressing. Michael Jackson took surgical anesthesia the way most people take Tylenol PM. That's why he's dead and his doctor is in jail. Once again Glenn is more asstute than funny.)

THIRD PLACE
"This is awesome, honey! Thanks for dying!" --Damon (JUDGE'S COMMENT: She's probably glad to be done with this asshole which makes her...wait for it...The Grateful Dead.)

HONORABLE MENTIONS
Tom often liked to take his dead wife with him on roller coaster rides. --Satireguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Here's how this could be funnier: He strapped her lifeless body into the passenger seat so he could cruise in the HOV lane. A slightly edgy narrative cap that missed the mark.)

"The hours here are a scream!"--Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The Devine Ms. H keeps a classic alive even though we can't help but notice that she's not screaming.)

"The G forces here are extreme." --smuck (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Okay then. thanks.)

“While riding on a train goin’ west, I fell asleep for to take my rest . . . jeez, will you guys please pipe down a bit!”---Bobby Z (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Even better: While riding on a roller coaster goin' south, the woman I was with shut her eyes and her mouth...)

"Do you realize that Graham Wilson did this entire cartoon without lifting his pen from the page once?" --David Macharelli (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Nice catch Dave but how, then, did he ultimately remove the pen from the page?)

"I got fries on uvura" --Li Po (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I don't really understand this but it's a nod to an Anti-Cap from some time ago. That much I know.)

Yikes! There's a giant lizard behind us!--Jim Cavanaugh My condolences to you, al. (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A lame cap from a warm hearted guy. )

One out six
doctors agree, take lorazepam before any roller coaster ride. [Condolences to you, Al, and to your whole family. Your dad sounded like a great guy, who had a great son.] --Tim H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: An obvious reference to my brother, also gone. Thanks. And also thanks to Utellme, Angus Podgorny, blw and everyone else you offered sympathies on Al Senior's passing.)

67 comments:

Thom said...

"goodbye selsun blue; hello denorex"

smuck said...

"The G forces here are extreme."

smuck said...

"Do you mind if I puke in your face? [blllarhrbguughhhnnngughh]"

Tim H said...

One out six doctors agree, take lorazepam before any roller coaster ride.


[Condolences to you, Al, and to your whole family. Your dad sounded like a great guy, who had a great son.]

Damon said...

"This is awesome, honey! Thanks for dying!"

Satireguy said...

Tom often liked to take his dead wife with him on roller coaster rides.

Satireguy said...

"Wake up! Your hair's on fire!"

Damon said...

"Whee!!...should get a divorce."

O.P. said...

"Rollercoaster!...Say Whaaaaat!?"

Dr Sumguy said...

"What a hand job!"

smuck said...

"Sarah, I've always admired your composure, your understated elegance, and the tactful authority you exude. What I'm trying to say is... Will you marr.... [blllarhrbguughhhnnngughh]"

Kathy H said...

The Loud Family at play.

Glenn said...

"GAHAAANNNN!!"

Anonymouse said...

Apparently, NYC's Second Avenue subway is not quite ready.

Simy said...

"Fall silently, you emotionless bitch, how are you?"

Tim H said...

Apparently, Ruth Madoff is oblivious to everything.

David Macharelli said...

"Do you realize that Graham Wilson did this entire cartoon without lifting his pen from the page once?"

5% Nation of Nipple Clamps said...

"I guess the 1% doesn't feel the need to scream."

David Macharelli said...

"It's a good thing neither of us has legs, or else we'd have never fit in this seat."

Austin said...

Weekend with Bernice.

Anonymous said...

Yikes! There's a giant lizard behind us!

Jim Cavanaugh

My condolences to you, al.

Dr Sumguy said...

"You didn't tell me this was Pelham one two three!"

AW said...

"Dammit, Judy, you always ruin our pictures by closing your eyes."

AW said...

"Dammit, Judy, you always ruin our pictures by closing your eyes."

AW said...

"Oh come on, nothing's more terrifying than seeing two alligators on the subway. Not even a rickety old Coney Island roller coaster. Unless we get mugged, I don't want to hear you complaining this wasn't exciting enough for you."

Anonymous said...

"These Graham Wilcox cartoons suck!"

Glenn said...

"Propofol? Oh, this ride is gonna be a thriller!"

Neil Sighted said...

Honey , closing your eyes won't make that giant carnivorous lizard stop chasing our train. You stupid Yutz!

Kathy H said...

"The hours here are a scream!"

boneguy said...

I said, "Next time let's take the bus to Poughkeepsie."

Glenn said...

Oh, no! I think Karl told me to give slip her the date rape pill just before I take her home!

Anonymouse said...

"We've been stuck here for 5 hours! Would it kill you to yell for help?!"

Anonymous said...

"Hey, you're not playing fair. You're already dead."


---blw

Mike Mariano said...

"It's a good thing there are no blllarhrbguughhhnnngughh people here to see this."

Anonymous said...

“OK, you win. Alligators on the subway is much more frightening than this.”


---blw

Anonymous said...

“OK, you’re right. I suppose a little foreplay beforehand would probably make this a little more exciting for you.”


---left coast wayne

Sam said...

"Hon, this is just like our sex. I go up and down, in an out of tunnels, and scream, while you just sit there, nary a peep or whimper, eyes closed, wondering how all the people lined up for the next ride are going to enjoy it. Oh, and....blllarhrbguughhhnnngughh!

Dr Sumguy said...

" Difficult cartoon. Return to sender."

Anonymous said...

“While riding on a train goin’ west, I fell asleep for to take my rest . . . jeez, will you guys please pipe down a bit!”


---Bobby Z

Damon said...

"I fucking hate you, bitch, slut, comatose whore! Oh oooooh! Seriously though, are you enjoying the Sam Kinison Theme Park?"

Damon said...

"You misheard me - it's the Tunnel of Courtney Love ride. Open your eyes! This is the part where she found Kurt!"

boneguy said...

Annie, are you even aware Alvy Singer grew up under this roller coaster?

Glenn said...

"That was a scene from Valium Girl, one of five new movies we'll be reviewing this week on Two Drug Addicts At the Movies."

Glenn said...

"I feel like a sardine - except the can had a hole in it on your side so when they opened the can, you had rotted."

Damon said...

"I can tolerate the g forces, but you brought our son onto this ride last month. Now all he can say is `uh ohh - doody'."

Glenn said...

"Well, those guys in Denver took their buddy out. I thought you might like it."

Tim H said...

"I SAID, AT LEAST WE'RE NOT ON AN AIRPLANE STUCK ON A TARMAC FOR 7 HOURS!!"

Kathy H said...

Auditions for Scream 5.

French Freud said...

"I'm so sorry no one held you when you were a baby."

Anonymous said...

“It takes a lot to laugh, it takes a train to cry . . . but then, you wouldn’t know about that, would you?”


---Bobby Z

Li Po said...

"I got fries on uvura"

Dr Sumguy said...

"O Sole Mio."

Austin said...

Helen Keller was always easy to find in post-ride reaction photos.

Utellme said...

I want to offer my sincere condolences to you, alinla. I watched the video you'd posted of you with your father in Florida. It was apparent that he was enjoying and appreciating the time you spent together. I'll bet he is looking down from some lofty place and saying, "Thank you, Son."

Quinn the Eskimo said...

"So maybe we're stuck up, but we're not stuck up like you."

Angus Podgorny said...

Al-
I'm very sorry to hear about your dad. My thoughts are with you.

Richard H said...

"I'm getting so tired of your ennui-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

Anonymous said...

"Your seat doesn't have exposed razor blades?"

Anonymous said...

"C'mon, just this once. Open your mouth and say 'AHHHHGGG'. It's OK, I'm a doctor."


---left coast wayne

Anonymous said...

Condolences to you and your family, alinla . . .


---blw

Anonymous said...

“Honey, did you ever stop and think that your neurosis is caused by the repressed pain of childhood trauma? This repressed pain can be sequentially brought to conscious awareness and resolved through re-experiencing the incident and fully expressing the resulting pain during therapy. That’s why I’ve brought you here today, dear . . . you see, it’s working for everybody else. Go ahead, honey . . . GIVE IT A SCREAM!!!”

---Dr. Arthur Janov

Bryce said...

"Hey everybody, look! The ever-flat Tilda Swinton is having a rollercoaster-induced orgasm"

Utellme said...

When usurped at work by a set of twin neanderthals, the Geico gecko decided to end it all by taking a flying leap from Batman: The Ride at its highest point.

Had he known beforehand that the twins' new sitcom would fail miserably due to being an extremely bad idea, he might have changed his mind and lived to fulfill his dream of becoming a police officer.

Quinn the Eskimo said...

"I didn't stand in line for over an hour just to watch you tweet!"

Anonymous said...

"Sorry, even the regular winners here who have proven themselves time and again are limited to only 5 screamers per contest. Let's see if anyone cites the paucity of entries."

Anonymouse said...

"Does this ride ever end?!"

Anonymous said...

"OK, you've made your point! I understand!!! You wish you were back sitting on the sofa in the living room . . . but who knows what might await us there??? Soldiers, squaring off, armed to the teeth . . . hippopotami, larger than coffee tables . . . it's all too much, I could just scream . . . oh, god, I wish this contest would end!!!"


---left coast wayne

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al in la

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Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.