NOTE: The waning days of summer have brought us another two-week cartoon. Feel free to continue to add caps that somehow explain why a chef is seated with a baseball team in a dugout that is large enough to accommodate only four players. And there is also this...
Temporary Rule Change: Due to an overwhelming number of puns, entries containing some type of word play (dumb or smart) will be immediately ruled ineligible.
117 comments:
"Caesy Stengel once told me that baseball was like cooking. And then he went off-message."
[...Casey Stengel, too...]
He can't hit a lick, but his batter is devine.
Thanks to Baker and his inability to get down a bunt, we're now the laughing stock of the league for a different reason.
There's no frying in baseball!
No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to fry.
The infield fry rule is only in Japanese baseball.
Batter up.
"I'm putting you on the DL. Who the hell told you to wear a demitasse cup?"
"I'm expecting you to pitch a 1-2-3 parfait ninth."
"Who's cooking in the dugout?"
"What's cooking in the dugout."
"I don't know."
"Third course."
We need you to bundt.
We couldn't afford Rollie, so we signed his brother, Fried Chicken.
"The ump wants to know what you did with the rubber."
"O.K. Let's see what you can do at the plate."
Mets manager Terry Collins, his team riddled with more injuries, contemplates playing the rest of the season with four players. Said Collins, "It's all hands on deck now."
"Sorry, bud. This is the Clinton Sofa Kings. You want the Topeka Toque Wearers."
The ace-closer for the Buttonwillow Renegades was referred to as "The Fuckin' Douche" simply because he dressed like a Chef Pisghetti from Curious George.
"Oh crap, I didn't know I was managing in a fantasy baseball league."
"Wok him and bitch to the giraffe."
"So you'r the new master batter!"
"Here at the East Rochester ERs we don't take kindly to 'colorful characters.' Capische?"
Pierre, get ready to go in. I need a skillet player at third.
"... And you're going to stay in that outfit until you stop serving up meatballs!"
"This dugout is fine now but where is everyone going to sit when we're at bat?"
You can stay seated. The scouting reports said you were a crepe-y player.
"Odd, isn't it, that people think it's you who are out of place, when, in fact, you are the head chef at this baseball-themed restaurant?"
"You'll have to leave! Too many cooks spoil the Brotherhood of Ball Players!"
"Boys, we've acquired Aaron Cook from the Rockies."
Jim Cavanaugh
"Not only do we have a really short bench, we have a short order cook, too."
"You know a busboy that can bat clean-up?"
"Left hand in front of my crotch is the indicator. Right hand in back pocket means eggs over easy, rye toast, hash browns and coffee black...but only if my left hand is in front of my crotch."
Bev
"I hope you brought your Aïoli game."
"You know how hard it is to get a good left-handed sous-chef?"
"Sorry, Uggla, I don't think that getup will help you become the first active pro athlete from a major sport to come out."
we got a real pressure cooker here.Holy cow , I think he's gonna make it!
"yeah... Dusty Baker ...we get it(whata dousche)
"and you say your name is Dylan? Good god, Al is going to wet himself this week!"
Which one of you Queens ordered a case of palm oil?
"Can you put some mustard on your balls?"
Dan
Looks like Ichiro-Rich got himself a new personal chef. Let's put him to wok!
"Get up there and take one in the toque for the team."
"Boyardee, how's the movement on your matzo ball today?"
Welcome to Rookie League Baseball ladies. Don't quit your day jobs.
… and you must be the player to be named later.
Sorry, Cookie, the winner of the omelet flipping contest can't sit in the dugout.
"O.K. Let's see how good your are. Get me a rubber band sandwich, and make it snappy!"
[...you are...]
Corporate names for stadiums opened the door for branded players and Chef Boyardee served-up scoreless innings at Conagra Stadium
"Hey, are you related to former Brewer, Padre, Marlin, Dodger, Brave, Yankee, Tiger and Met Gary Chef-field?"
Unidentified Frying Saucier
Exit 16W
"Clean out your locker. You've served up your last 'tater."
Jim Cavanaugh
"Horse! Lou Gehrig was the IRON HORSE!"
Bev
..so he's not a great fielder, but when he gets on the basepaths he can rally cook!
"Pasquale here thinks we should chew tobacco family style."
"You got fries on Gil"
"You're no Ripken, but you are in da Calzone."
don't knock him, he just went flour for flour with two Ding dongs
"Start the lead-off batter with high heat, then reduce to a steady diet of sliders off the plate. And don't bean him."
"OK, knuckleheads, who can explain the infield fry rule?"
"It doesn't look like you have the range to play the outfield."
"In the fifth inning, when you used the black truffle oil with the ragoûts aux champignons...exquisite!"
"You Hot Stove League guys think you know everything."
Jim Cavanaugh
"Hmmmmmm, what rhymes with skillet?"
Exit 16W
"No Mr. Bond, I expect you to stir-fry."
Hey Jim, notice the timing of your imposter's entry.
Anonymous also lifted the "Corporate names for stadiums" line from contest #291
"Hey, Radosh, you fancy yourself quite the Renaissance Man, don't you?"
Scrambled instead of over easy wasn't the change up I was thinking of.
Where does "Anonymous" get his money?
ATM!
"Boys we're losing. Emeril here was going to give you a stirring speech, but maybe that's just a recipe for disaster."
Anonymous gets his money from ATM and he's a Gerbil Removal Trainee. The little buggers usually elude him, but every once in awhile he gets a hold of one.
"Field-Cheffy, you crazy baster, How are you?"
OMG! Anonymous quotes al in la and poses as Jimbo.
Anonymous prob posed as alinla in contest #296
"You certainly braised the third base coach there. I mean, he couldn't have cast iron that coming! You just can't spatula a ground-rule double after that kind of flambé. Ha!"
"Can you cook up something as tasty as that rally monkey? He was mmm-delectable!"
"So we'll send in the chef to replace the baseball with an orange. That should really add some zest to the game!"
"Pierre on deck! I suggest a sacrifice bundt."
"Ya know, I don't think Jamie McCourt has any fucking idea what we do here."
Scooter Braxton of the Poughkeepsie Ocelots was referred to as "The Wussy" simply because he always wore his batting helmet in the dugout.
"Hobbs here is gonna show us his sixteen year old cheese."
Dan
What happens when you don't have any cap room
"You gotta lot of n'oeuvre serving that hors shit."
Exit 16W
"I want you to serve them up some fast food."
TAMPA Spring Trainning,1973 --In a effort to remind manager Ralph Houk that his goose is cooked, Yankee owner George Steinbrenner hires a chef to sit in the dugout holding a skillet
"Now we know why you got the runs."
Trying to be more empathetic, but still failing to master grammar, coach wondered how Gary, chef, feeled.
[The comment from Kathy H on August 11 at 8:45 am is an impostor's posting, not from Kathy H.]
[The comment from Anonymouse on August 11 at 10:21 am is an impostor's posting, not from Anonymouse. You will be hearing from Kathy H's and Anonymouse's lawyers in the morning.]
[Tasteless nailed it.]
[No this isn't a cap.]
"Can you cook me up a high hard one?"
In the twilight of his career, Minnie Minoso liked to prepare huevos rancheros for his teammates.
Kathy H. and Anonymouse - don't worry girls, we all knew that those comments were not yours.
They were too funny to be yours.
The nerve of them to slander your pseudonym!
My name is Jim Cavanaugh.
Me name eeese Jeeeem Cavvvvvanawwwwww.
Cavanaugh. James Cavanaugh.
"We're already toast. Can you turn us into French toast?"
Bev
Okay smartass, get in there and pinch-hit for Cavanaugh.
Jim Cavanaugh
"If you're lookin' for fusilli, you'd better go back to from where you came."
"Is that a blancmange on your head, or are you just glad to see me?"
"Good morning, gentlemen, and welcome to another season of Indians baseball."
C'est un autre deux concours de la semaine.
Pierre
Anonymouse, Kathy H and Anonymous all commented within minutes(Lawyers). Are all of you kids familiar or is Anononumous up to his old tricks? Thats right, Putz, you have an M.O.
"So you think you can light a fire under this team? OK, then . . . let's get cooking."
---blw
Yo, knucklehead. Denny's is down the street. You'll find they let in about as many black people as New Yorker cartoons do.
"I wish Catfish Hunter were here to see this."
"Hey, Chico Escuala. Baseball been berry berry good to you?"
"One toque over the line, sweet Jesus, one toque over the line."
"This cartoonist thinks a dugout only seats four, has a foot rest bar and is located in the outfield. I'd hate to see his Weber kettle. None of those fuckers can even foul that one off."
Hanratty
Sorry Pierre - Just cuz the crowd is yelling "Hey Batter-Batter!" does not mean I'm gonna let you pitch hit!
"Awww, so the guys burned your costumes. At least Teddy Roosevelt over here is creative."
"Of course, I could make some lame pun. Truth is, I'd just like an omelette"
"Hominy grits mustard man wok down, before they can call him a man?"
"It's a ball park, Frank."
"Welcome to the Florida Marlins Fan Cave."
You're in the wrong stadium, Mr. Puck. The hockey rink is across the street.
"I'm the manager of this nine. Spit up the other six."
Exit 16W
"They have much bigger dugouts in the miner leagues."
"Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a Jerry Lumpe gravy ride."
we all liked 'the bad news bears' but you're taking this butterm,aker thing a little too far!
"You're in my seat!"
Temporary rule change. No chefs allowed on the field of greens.
Post a Comment