Sunday, August 7, 2011

The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #298






NOTE: The waning days of summer have brought us another two-week cartoon. Feel free to continue to add caps that somehow explain why a chef is seated with a baseball team in a dugout that is large enough to accommodate only four players. And there is also this...

Temporary Rule Change: Due to an overwhelming number of puns, entries containing some type of word play (dumb or smart) will be immediately ruled ineligible.

125 comments:

Boch said...

"Where's your uniform, faggot?"

Tim H said...

"Caesy Stengel once told me that baseball was like cooking. And then he went off-message."

Tim H said...

[...Casey Stengel, too...]

Austin said...

He can't hit a lick, but his batter is devine.

Austin said...

Thanks to Baker and his inability to get down a bunt, we're now the laughing stock of the league for a different reason.

Austin said...

There's no frying in baseball!

JohnnyB said...

No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to fry.

JohnnyB said...

The infield fry rule is only in Japanese baseball.

JohnnyB said...

Batter up.

Glenn said...

"Hey Julia Child, you think you could put out the fuckin' fire out there?"

Glenn said...

"I'm putting you on the DL. Who the hell told you to wear a demitasse cup?"

Glenn said...

"I'm expecting you to pitch a 1-2-3 parfait ninth."

JohnnyB said...

"Who's cooking in the dugout?"
"What's cooking in the dugout."
"I don't know."
"Third course."

Eric G said...

We need you to bundt.

Eric G said...

We couldn't afford Rollie, so we signed his brother, Fried Chicken.

Gary P said...

"The ump wants to know what you did with the rubber."

Kathy H said...

"O.K. Let's see what you can do at the plate."

Anonymouse said...

Mets manager Terry Collins, his team riddled with more injuries, contemplates playing the rest of the season with four players. Said Collins, "It's all hands on deck now."

Tim H said...

"Sorry, bud. This is the Clinton Sofa Kings. You want the Topeka Toque Wearers."

The MwTYH said...

The ace-closer for the Buttonwillow Renegades was referred to as "The Fuckin' Douche" simply because he dressed like a Chef Pisghetti from Curious George.

Anonymous said...

"Oh crap, I didn't know I was managing in a fantasy baseball league."

Anonymous said...

"Wok him and bitch to the giraffe."

Dr Sumguy said...

"So you'r the new master batter!"

Kathy H said...

"Here at the East Rochester ERs we don't take kindly to 'colorful characters.' Capische?"

boneguy said...

Pierre, get ready to go in. I need a skillet player at third.

David Macharelli said...

"... And you're going to stay in that outfit until you stop serving up meatballs!"

David Macharelli said...

"This dugout is fine now but where is everyone going to sit when we're at bat?"

boneguy said...

You can stay seated. The scouting reports said you were a crepe-y player.

Anonymouse said...

"Odd, isn't it, that people think it's you who are out of place, when, in fact, you are the head chef at this baseball-themed restaurant?"

Dr Sumguy said...

"You'll have to leave! Too many cooks spoil the Brotherhood of Ball Players!"

Anonymous said...

"Boys, we've acquired Aaron Cook from the Rockies."

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

"Batali, you crazy bastard! How the heck are you?"

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

"Not only do we have a really short bench, we have a short order cook, too."

Dex said...

"You know a busboy that can bat clean-up?"

Anonymous said...

"I meant, 'Can you cleanup the vomit from that shit you serve them after the game?'"

Dan

Anonymous said...

"Left hand in front of my crotch is the indicator. Right hand in back pocket means eggs over easy, rye toast, hash browns and coffee black...but only if my left hand is in front of my crotch."

Bev

Gary P said...

"I hope you brought your Aïoli game."

Satireguy said...

"You know how hard it is to get a good left-handed sous-chef?"

Anonymous said...

The "batali" caption was posted by an imposter, you crazy bastards!

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

"Sorry, Uggla, I don't think that getup will help you become the first active pro athlete from a major sport to come out."

M.Loaf said...

we got a real pressure cooker here.Holy cow , I think he's gonna make it!

bravesDodgersGiantsReds said...

"yeah... Dusty Baker ...we get it(whata dousche)

Anonymous said...

"and you say your name is Dylan? Good god, Al is going to wet himself this week!"

Anonymous likes ass-to-mouth said...

Which one of you Queens ordered a case of palm oil?

Anonymous said...

"Can you put some mustard on your balls?"

Dan

New Pinella said...

Looks like Ichiro-Rich got himself a new personal chef. Let's put him to wok!

Kathy H said...

"Get up there and take one in the toque for the team."

Coach Bag said...

"Boyardee, how's the movement on your matzo ball today?"

The Chexx Mixx Kidd said...

Welcome to Rookie League Baseball ladies. Don't quit your day jobs.

The Chexx Mixx Kidd said...

… and you must be the player to be named later.

The Chexx Mixx Kidd said...

Sorry, Cookie, the winner of the omelet flipping contest can't sit in the dugout.

Tim H said...

"O.K. Let's see how good your are. Get me a rubber band sandwich, and make it snappy!"

Tim H said...

[...you are...]

Anonymous said...

Corporate names for stadiums opened the door for branded players and Chef Boyardee served-up scoreless innings at Conagra Stadium

Anonymouse said...

"Hey, are you related to former Brewer, Padre, Marlin, Dodger, Brave, Yankee, Tiger and Met Gary Chef-field?"

Anonymous said...

Unidentified Frying Saucier

Exit 16W

Anonymous said...

"Clean out your locker. You've served up your last 'tater."

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

"Horse! Lou Gehrig was the IRON HORSE!"

Bev

Sonny Zeider said...

..so he's not a great fielder, but when he gets on the basepaths he can rally cook!

Miss Translation said...

"Pasquale here thinks we should chew tobacco family style."

Sounds like hajes said...

"You got fries on Gil"

Dum Dimaggio said...

"You're no Ripken, but you are in da Calzone."

Horst S. said...

don't knock him, he just went flour for flour with two Ding dongs

Shelly said...

"Start the lead-off batter with high heat, then reduce to a steady diet of sliders off the plate. And don't bean him."

"OK, knuckleheads, who can explain the infield fry rule?"

"It doesn't look like you have the range to play the outfield."

Kathy H said...

"In the fifth inning, when you used the black truffle oil with the ragoûts aux champignons...exquisite!"

Anonymous said...

"You Hot Stove League guys think you know everything."

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

Ted Lilly, you crazy bastard! How are you doing in culinary school?

The Real Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

"Hmmmmmm, what rhymes with skillet?"

Exit 16W

Rex said...

"No Mr. Bond, I expect you to stir-fry."

Clepto-Poser Alert said...

Hey Jim, notice the timing of your imposter's entry.

Anonymous also lifted the "Corporate names for stadiums" line from contest #291

Anonymouse said...

"Hey, Radosh, you fancy yourself quite the Renaissance Man, don't you?"

boneguy said...

Scrambled instead of over easy wasn't the change up I was thinking of.

Kathy H said...

Where does "Anonymous" get his money?

ATM!

cta said...

"Boys we're losing. Emeril here was going to give you a stirring speech, but maybe that's just a recipe for disaster."

Anonymouse said...

Anonymous gets his money from ATM and he's a Gerbil Removal Trainee. The little buggers usually elude him, but every once in awhile he gets a hold of one.

Sue Feely said...

"Field-Cheffy, you crazy baster, How are you?"

Eureka! said...

OMG! Anonymous quotes al in la and poses as Jimbo.

Anonymous prob posed as alinla in contest #296

guy who mistakenly thinks puns are just topical words that have additional emphasis said...

"You certainly braised the third base coach there. I mean, he couldn't have cast iron that coming! You just can't spatula a ground-rule double after that kind of flambé. Ha!"

Glenn said...

"Can you cook up something as tasty as that rally monkey? He was mmm-delectable!"

cta said...

"So we'll send in the chef to replace the baseball with an orange. That should really add some zest to the game!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Pierre on deck! I suggest a sacrifice bundt."

Frank said...

"Ya know, I don't think Jamie McCourt has any fucking idea what we do here."

Spitty Johnson said...

Scooter Braxton of the Poughkeepsie Ocelots was referred to as "The Wussy" simply because he always wore his batting helmet in the dugout.

Anonymous said...

"Hobbs here is gonna show us his sixteen year old cheese."

Dan

Anonymous said...

What happens when you don't have any cap room

Anonymous said...

"You gotta lot of n'oeuvre serving that hors shit."

Exit 16W

Satireguy said...

"I want you to serve them up some fast food."

NAMBY said...

TAMPA Spring Trainning,1973 --In a effort to remind manager Ralph Houk that his goose is cooked, Yankee owner George Steinbrenner hires a chef to sit in the dugout holding a skillet

Tasteless said...

"Now we know why you got the runs."

Sam Antic said...

Trying to be more empathetic, but still failing to master grammar, coach wondered how Gary, chef, feeled.

Anonymous said...

"So from now on we're the Chefs. I'm tired of dealing with those fucking Indian groups."

Bev

Kathy H said...

[The comment from Kathy H on August 11 at 8:45 am is an impostor's posting, not from Kathy H.]

Anonymouse said...

[The comment from Anonymouse on August 11 at 10:21 am is an impostor's posting, not from Anonymouse. You will be hearing from Kathy H's and Anonymouse's lawyers in the morning.]

Anonymous said...

[Tasteless nailed it.]
[No this isn't a cap.]

Satireguy said...

"Can you cook me up a high hard one?"

Satireguy said...

In the twilight of his career, Minnie Minoso liked to prepare huevos rancheros for his teammates.

Guard your pseudonym said...

Kathy H. and Anonymouse - don't worry girls, we all knew that those comments were not yours.

They were too funny to be yours.

The nerve of them to slander your pseudonym!

Anonymous said...

My name is Jim Cavanaugh.

Me name eeese Jeeeem Cavvvvvanawwwwww.

Cavanaugh. James Cavanaugh.

Anonymous said...

"We're already toast. Can you turn us into French toast?"

Bev

Anonymous said...

Okay smartass, get in there and pinch-hit for Cavanaugh.

Jim Cavanaugh

Angus Podgorny said...

"If you're lookin' for fusilli, you'd better go back to from where you came."

Angus Podgorny said...

"Is that a blancmange on your head, or are you just glad to see me?"

Anonymous said...

"Good morning, gentlemen, and welcome to another season of Indians baseball."

Anonymous said...

C'est un autre deux concours de la semaine.

Pierre

Eureka! said...

Anonymouse, Kathy H and Anonymous all commented within minutes(Lawyers). Are all of you kids familiar or is Anononumous up to his old tricks? Thats right, Putz, you have an M.O.

Anonymous said...

"So you think you can light a fire under this team? OK, then . . . let's get cooking."


---blw

Grand Slam Breakfast said...

Yo, knucklehead. Denny's is down the street. You'll find they let in about as many black people as New Yorker cartoons do.

Steve_O said...

"I said 'batter with a fast bunt,' not 'batter for a moist bundt,' fuckhead.

Cooking with Catfish said...

"I wish Catfish Hunter were here to see this."

Glenn said...

"Hey, Chico Escuala. Baseball been berry berry good to you?"

Milwaukee Brewers and Shipley said...

"One toque over the line, sweet Jesus, one toque over the line."

Anonymous said...

"This cartoonist thinks a dugout only seats four, has a foot rest bar and is located in the outfield. I'd hate to see his Weber kettle. None of those fuckers can even foul that one off."

Hanratty

Blonde said...

Sorry Pierre - Just cuz the crowd is yelling "Hey Batter-Batter!" does not mean I'm gonna let you pitch hit!

Glenn said...

"Awww, so the guys burned your costumes. At least Teddy Roosevelt over here is creative."

Richard H said...

"Of course, I could make some lame pun. Truth is, I'd just like an omelette"

Glenn said...

"Hominy grits mustard man wok down, before they can call him a man?"

Hot Dog, Hold the Pun said...

"It's a ball park, Frank."

Anonymous said...

"Welcome to the Florida Marlins Fan Cave."

Penal T. Boxx said...

You're in the wrong stadium, Mr. Puck. The hockey rink is across the street.

Anonymous said...

"I'm the manager of this nine. Spit up the other six."

Exit 16W

Disqualified said...

"They have much bigger dugouts in the miner leagues."

Zap said...

"Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a Jerry Lumpe gravy ride."

Rulechange Gnorer said...

we all liked 'the bad news bears' but you're taking this butterm,aker thing a little too far!

a 4 yr old girl (not cta) said...

"You're in my seat!"

boneguy said...

Temporary rule change. No chefs allowed on the field of greens.

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