Our HR department absolutely sleighed it!
"He'll just keep on going as long as he thinks he's Bob Dylan doin' a harmonica solo."
Quick Dasher, go tell Prancer, Vixen and Comet our little plan worked! It fucking worked!!
"Well ... His Christmas wish was for a Bit-coin!"
"Did you know why he's childless ... He only comes once a year, and that's down the chimney!"
"The good news ... He's got a zero carbon footprint!"
"Wait until tonight. He doesn't have a 'safe' word."
"Joining the Teamsters was the best fucking thing we ever did!"
"It was totally worth it to get rid of Comet, Cupid, and Blitzen"
I posted a boot camp flyer and he took the bait.
"And the bag is full of dead elves"
"He actually thinks this is gonna get him in the frat."
"He started complaining about Comet's flatulence and I guess it just kind of escalated from there."
"The old man had too much wine. "
"We have photos of Santa going to town."
Mrs. CLaus got tired of his saggy ass.
"Turns out Santa's a switch. Who knew?"
"He's kind like alinla; still involved, but no longer pulling his weight."
"We fuckin' ran over grandma!"
Someone shoulda told Santa reindeer carry syphilis.
"And the best part is—he has to keep dragging us for whole 'nother fucking week."
"4 legs good, 2 legs gullible"
"If everything is covered in snow, why would the mountains off in the distance have snow caps? Explain that to me."
"But can the bitch FLY?"
"Santa Claus! Go straight to the ghetto."
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