Sunday, March 8, 2015

New Yorker Anti-Cap Contest #466





WINNERS

FIRST PLACE (TIE)
Who knew we could order 12 midget hookers and both pay and enjoy them under the table!"--NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This somehow manages to be stupid and brilliant. Who better than midget hookers to give you a little head?)
"Welcome to the first meeting of the Boogers Appreciation Society."--NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Gross and juvenile, yet undeniably brilliant in a Anti-cap sort of way. Will there be a second meeting? NJ-to-TX  reaffirms his stature as the Alpha Dawg Anti-Capper. )
SECOND PLACE
"Well, HERE'S your problem."--Evan (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Something a mechanic would say, we can all agree. Works best if you assume these people are the quality control team for an office furniture company.)
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"I'm haunted by the laces of my victims."
--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Good use of a classic. Nice one Jim!)

"...because the last time al got us together he went "yard" on Giancarlo's head."--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: NOT a reference to me, I am happy to say. This re-calls the memorable line from the “Untouchables.” With baseball season on the horizon it seems perfect.)
"Worst. Circle jerk. Ever."--Steve_O (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Second worst. Don't forget our little contest here.)



27 comments:

Evan said...

"Well, HERE'S your problem."

boneguy said...

Welcome to the 2015 meeting of the Union of Car Mechanics.

Jess said...

"Now remember, when he walks in everyone yell SURPRISE."

NJ-to-TX said...

"Welcome to the first meeting of the Boogers Appreciation Society."

Anonymous said...

"...because the last time al got us together he went "yard" on Giancarlo's head."

boneguy said...

Next time Perkins, bring enough chewing gum for everyone.

Dr Sumguy said...

"Is this what you call a 'table d'hote'!"

Steve_O said...

"I now call the 114th session of the United States Congress to order."

REX said...

(Head from under table) "So...we all agree: Disaster Drills are useless but still a nice diversion. "

Dr Sumguy said...

"Who farted?!"

NJ-to-TX said...

"Who knew we could order 12 midget hookers and both pay and enjoy them under the table!"

JohnnyB said...

Find the shoes that don't match - Highlights CEO Magazine.

Dr Sumguy said...

"Looks like they found a coupon code for ... join.me!"

NJ-to-TX said...

"Who's ready for The Human Centipede 3"

REX said...

Though well intended, the effort to bring together people suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder yielded predictable results.

Anonymous said...

"I'm haunted by the laces of my victims."

Jim Cavanaugh

Dex said...

...and then Belushi yelled "Gator!"

Anonymous said...

"Right,first order of business is to vote on today's blow me guy."

Anonymous said...

Foot silly you crazy bastard......

NJ-to-TX said...

"Those bitches will never know we're watching porn in here."

JohnnyB said...

Another workplace shooting

JohnnyB said...

Well, I'll be darned, Jim, you're right, and George, Fred, Bill, Tom, Larry, Art, Tim, Wylie, DeShawn and Iggy were all right. There are no data hookups under here. But no big deal, we don't have computers.

Jesss said...

"Can…anyone…reach…the [choke, gage].. water? "

NOTE: The about caption will seem funnier if you assume it is a company we all hate and there has been some type of chemical weapon attack that has left the people dying a slow horrible death.

boneguy said...

Ostrich Corp.'s fourth quarter numbers sure look worse than expected.

Dr Sumguy said...

"Neasles epidemic strikes the CDC!"

boneguy said...

Whose idea was it to hire ISIS Janitorial Services?

Steve_O said...

"Worst. Circle jerk. Ever."

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