"You can drop me off at the nearest black hole or Uranus, not that there's much of a difference."
"Come on! Don't be pissed! You act like I asked you to go to Brooklyn."
"Just how the fuck does amnesty not apply to me?"
"What do you mean there's an extra charge when we enter The Twilight Zone?"
"Take a right at the light, keep goin' straight until night, and then, boy, you're on your own."
"All I know is that when I saw you had no medallion, no fare rate listed on the side, and a blank license plate, you were the cab for me!"
"I was told that you are all towelheads."
"If you're afraid of heights I can jew you down."I. M. Out
That's funny. I left my meteor running.
"When's the last time you checked the tiles on this thing?"
"How 'bout those WHAT?...METS? What the fucks a Met?"
I get around 7 Dilithium crystals per Parsec, although my mileage can vary.
"Warp 2 Mr. Nimoy."
"If you were a mechanical engineer on your home planet of Gamma X, what are you doing driving a cab?"
"Eeeeeee-Teeeeeee, Fuck over cabbie."
"Next you'll be telling me there's life on earth ha ha ha h a h aaah a aa aaaaa aaaa"
"Is that a Baseball?"
They were all, like, "ET, call home". You'd think those gringo fuckers would at least spring for carfare.
"You'll say, how are you gonna pay for this ... And I'll say, with this ... Giving you a glimpse of my galactic cloaca ... And you'll say ... Don't you have something a little smaller?"
I knew you shoulda taken that left toin at Albukoikee
I am haunted by the spaceships of my victims
Christ, what a black hole!
"Stop! ... Uber and out!"
"On my planet, the green aliens don’t tip."
"Hey! Since when do you swing by Pluto to get to Mars?"
"So tell me. Do they need drivers?"
"Any chance of you introducing me to Marilu Henner?"
"Take the wormhole, asshole. I want to get there today."
Nice to know I'm not the only illegal alien in this sector.
"...anyway, she's now my ex..the terrestrial. No more earth bitch abductions for me."
"Every time I find a new planet, the high life forms overheat it and destroy everything over politics and religion until- well, time to find another one..."
"Would I be taking a cab if I were that E.T.?""The moon of Uranus, and no funny cracks.""Spielberg will only cover the fare out to Jupiter.""Wait...is ‘light year’ how far we’re going or how long it will take?""I stop to molt and when I turn around they’re gone.""What does that radio host have against me?""A million zyblorgs to get to Venus? Do you think I was born two parsecs ago?""Are we there yet?"
"Can I smoke now?"
"I'm short of cash so the best I can offer is an anal probe."
"My girlfriend down there is suing me for paternity- she was on fertility drugs and gave birth to a power strip. I know I shoulda used insulation."
"How many miles on your 'Ford Galaxy'?"
I'm guessing this voids your warranty.
I said take a LEFT at the next event horizon.
I can see the future and my bracket's still busted.
"To that place in ‘Total Recall’ where the hookers have three titties, please."
"Hey! I asked you for a ride to the planetarium."
"Thanks. Most cabs in New York won't pick up green people."
"Hi. My name is Yovvana Pap Smear from the planet Kraptonite ... Don't worry, it's still early!"
"How 'bout turning the air on?"
"In the grand scheme of things, taking an intergalactic cab to Lisa's hair salon, seems somewhat trite."
"I said Jewpiter you foiler tut in tsveyen!"
Take me to the Crab Shack Nebula. I'm so hungry, I could eat an Ursa Major.
"Obama? He was nice, but he said it would be best for everyone if they just put me in a cab and sent me home."
"Can you drop me off at the nearest toilet. I have some Klingon's I have to attend to!"
"Drop me at the Enterprise toilet. I wanna check on the Captains Log!'
"I figured it was time to leave when I heard Cruz was running. Christ, what an asshole."Jim Cavanaugh
"Wait!.. You say there are multimillionaires who tear down mansions to build even bigger mansions, while other people suffer in abject poverty and disease?…As if!...What Planet are you from, buddy?"
"You talkin' to me?"
"Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew."
"The bitch got the house, the kids, and the saucer."
"In space, no one can hear you honk."
Yo, Anonymous! Let's keep it to 25 Jews or less, okay?
"Take me to Baahston, I have to take a wicked piss."
"Because I heard Uber comes to quick."
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