Monday, March 23, 2015

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #468


60 comments:

Shelly said...

"You can drop me off at the nearest black hole or Uranus, not that there's much of a difference."

REX said...

"Come on! Don't be pissed! You act like I asked you to go to Brooklyn."

Anonymous said...

"Just how the fuck does amnesty not apply to me?"

Tim H said...

"What do you mean there's an extra charge when we enter The Twilight Zone?"

Kathy H said...

"Take a right at the light, keep goin' straight until night, and then, boy, you're on your own."

Anonymouse said...

"All I know is that when I saw you had no medallion, no fare rate listed on the side, and a blank license plate, you were the cab for me!"

NJ-to-TX said...

"I was told that you are all towelheads."

Anonymous said...

"If you're afraid of heights I can jew you down."

I. M. Out

boneguy said...

That's funny. I left my meteor running.

Anonymous said...

"When's the last time you checked the tiles on this thing?"

Anonymous said...

"How 'bout those WHAT?...METS? What the fucks a Met?"

boneguy said...

I get around 7 Dilithium crystals per Parsec, although my mileage can vary.

Anonymous said...

"Warp 2 Mr. Nimoy."

Anonymous said...

"If you were a mechanical engineer on your home planet of Gamma X, what are you doing driving a cab?"

Anonymous said...

"Eeeeeee-Teeeeeee, Fuck over cabbie."

McLean Stevenson lV said...

"Next you'll be telling me there's life on earth ha ha ha h a h aaah a aa aaaaa aaaa"

Commander Barnes said...

"Is that a Baseball?"

boneguy said...

They were all, like, "ET, call home". You'd think those gringo fuckers would at least spring for carfare.

Dr Sumguy said...

"You'll say, how are you gonna pay for this ... And I'll say, with this ... Giving you a glimpse of my galactic cloaca ... And you'll say ... Don't you have something a little smaller?"

JohnnyB said...

I knew you shoulda taken that left toin at Albukoikee

JohnnyB said...

I am haunted by the spaceships of my victims

JohnnyB said...

Christ, what a black hole!

Dr Sumguy said...

"Stop! ... Uber and out!"

Steve_O said...

"On my planet, the green aliens don’t tip."

Steve_O said...

"Hey! Since when do you swing by Pluto to get to Mars?"

Tim H said...

"So tell me. Do they need drivers?"

Anonymouse said...

"Any chance of you introducing me to Marilu Henner?"

Anonymous said...

"Take the wormhole, asshole. I want to get there today."

boneguy said...

Nice to know I'm not the only illegal alien in this sector.

boneguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

"...anyway, she's now my ex..the terrestrial. No more earth bitch abductions for me."

LR said...

"Every time I find a new planet, the high life forms overheat it and destroy everything over politics and religion until- well, time to find another one..."

Steve_O said...

"Would I be taking a cab if I were that E.T.?"
"The moon of Uranus, and no funny cracks."
"Spielberg will only cover the fare out to Jupiter."
"Wait...is ‘light year’ how far we’re going or how long it will take?"
"I stop to molt and when I turn around they’re gone."
"What does that radio host have against me?"
"A million zyblorgs to get to Venus? Do you think I was born two parsecs ago?"
"Are we there yet?"

Anonymous said...

"Can I smoke now?"

Jabba said...

"I'm short of cash so the best I can offer is an anal probe."

Shelly said...

"My girlfriend down there is suing me for paternity- she was on fertility drugs and gave birth to a power strip. I know I shoulda used insulation."

Dr Sumguy said...

"How many miles on your 'Ford Galaxy'?"

boneguy said...

I'm guessing this voids your warranty.

boneguy said...

I said take a LEFT at the next event horizon.

boneguy said...

I can see the future and my bracket's still busted.

Steve_O said...

"To that place in ‘Total Recall’ where the hookers have three titties, please."

Steve_O said...

"Hey! I asked you for a ride to the planetarium."

Steve_O said...

"Thanks. Most cabs in New York won't pick up green people."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Hi. My name is Yovvana Pap Smear from the planet Kraptonite ... Don't worry, it's still early!"

Dex said...

"How 'bout turning the air on?"

Dr Sumguy said...

"In the grand scheme of things, taking an intergalactic cab to Lisa's hair salon, seems somewhat trite."

Anonymous said...

"I said Jewpiter you foiler tut in tsveyen!"

boneguy said...

Take me to the Crab Shack Nebula. I'm so hungry, I could eat an Ursa Major.

Jess said...

"Obama? He was nice, but he said it would be best for everyone if they just put me in a cab and sent me home."

DR Sumguy said...

"Can you drop me off at the nearest toilet. I have some Klingon's I have to attend to!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Drop me at the Enterprise toilet. I wanna check on the Captains Log!'

Anonymous said...

"I figured it was time to leave when I heard Cruz was running. Christ, what an asshole."

Jim Cavanaugh

Jess said...

"Wait!.. You say there are multimillionaires who tear down mansions to build even bigger mansions, while other people suffer in abject poverty and disease?…As if!...What Planet are you from, buddy?"

Dr Sumguy said...

"You talkin' to me?"

Anonymous said...

"Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew."

Anonymous said...

"The bitch got the house, the kids, and the saucer."

Dex said...

"In space, no one can hear you honk."

Anonymous said...

Yo, Anonymous! Let's keep it to 25 Jews or less, okay?

NJ-to-TX said...

"Take me to Baahston, I have to take a wicked piss."

Anonymous said...

"Because I heard Uber comes to quick."

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Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.