NOTE: More winners from an anonymous interloping judge. The effort, though uninspiring, is appreciated. -- al in la
"I have to show you this trick I learned from Bill Cosby."--NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: NJ-to-TX starts strong right out of the gate. For those of you who don't watch the Cosby Show, he is referencing the 17th episode in the 2nd season where Dick Van Dyke played an out of work magician trying to stay sober so that he could marry his sweetheart. Cosby worked his own kind of magic and helped Dyke stay off the booze and get his lady. That episode was so memorable and well acted that many professional critics mark it as the height of the Cosby show before the downward cycle of ratings began. Subtle 70's television references seldom go unrewarded.)
"So far so good. This is usually where my date disappears."--Tim H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Tim is speaking from experience here. I remember the night he took Kathy H (when her name was still Kathy) to a magic/jazz combination show in New Orleans. When the lead magician/saxophonist transformed a flat into a sharp, Tim leaped onto the stage and revealed the trick for what it was: A poorly concealed array of mirrors and fishing line. That was when Kathy disappeared into thin air for a week, an event Tim still attributes to the magician/saxophonist as revenge for revealing his illusion. Tim knows this for a fact because Kathy didn't pick up the phone for the duration of time she was made invisible.)
"So..Kid, you say you want to judge the anti-cap contest uh? Come on in and meet some of our regulars: Johnny B, boneguy, Tim H. and his wife Kathy, who he's sawing in half right now. What'd you say your name was again, kid?"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The implications of this comment are terrifying. An incestuous group of only a handful of people comprise the entirety of al in la's fan base. The numbers are undoubtedly inflated because many of you have multiple names and make numerous anonymous posts. And for what? So you can receive validation from an inattentive, and frankly rude, father figure who rarely takes the required five minutes out of his day to hand down contemptuous judgments? I say nay. We can do better. Daniel Radosh would be ashamed. And I should know.)
"Winner: "The hours here are obscene" - Boneguy - a classic, however irrelevant, is a classic.
2nd place: "Liberty is just equality in school." - Anonymous Anonymouse - Dylan lyrics, however misapplied are always winners.
Honorable Mention: "Fuck!" - Dr. Sumguy - Profanity, however offensive is always cool
Honorable Mention: "Art LINKletter" - Kathy H - Kathy H's links, however stupid make you want to link up with her.
Dishonorable mention: All puns - Puns, however funny , are never winners. Deal with it.
- al in la"--JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Now we are diving into a bottomless meta contest where judges judge each other while pretending to be people they are not. That being said, I find JonnyB's impression of al in la to be quite pedestrian. Leave the judging to the experts, kid.)