"Shut up, Bob."
"Do you want a window seat?"
"Will you be disembarking in Chicago, or will you continue to Kitty Hawk?"
"Welcome to 'Whiz-Air' ... Sir ... The're no toilets aboard!"
"You know that mother Fokker be glidin' sweet, dude!"
The arrival time varies between three to four days from now.
Hot air balloons depart from terminal six.
You'll be boarding with group C!"
"You'll be flying stand-by, sir; standing by a right-front wing strut."
"Sir, the plane taking off is Air Al-Qaeda...and tell me he didn't miss the tower again."
"Here at Spirit Airlines everybody takes a turn in the pilot's seat."
This is the Wright plane for you.
I'm not wearing any pants.
Fuselage? You crazy bastard. How are you seeing a fuselage?
"Flight 327 departs for Chicago at 9:40, and your fly's open."
"We assumed that since you are bisexual that you'd prefer the biplane. But don't try any of your sick stunts up there."
Suck my cock, Baldie!
First, we'll have you sign the 'Holy Shit' disclaimer!"
"In this case, 'Departs', means not all the aircraft leaves at once!"
"For an extra $5.75 we can offer you a Charles Lindbergh wicker chair and a box lunch!"
"Welcome to EL aLINLA Airline."Jim Cavanaugh
"Your wife departed at 8:23 in the Gate B gift shop. Massive coronary. Non-refundable ticket. Move on. There's people in back of you."
"Christ, what's the difference? O'Hare, Midway - It's Chicago! You going, or not?
"It's for our Jewish passengers because it's easier to shoot down."
Feel free to push the flight attendant button all you want.
If a terrorist rams it into a building, only you will die.
The seating's not assigned. You appear to be a right wing nut. So strut out, grab a strut and your nuts. Your nuts! Almost forgot. We serve nuts.
"Oh, and if your United flight is just connecting in Chicago, you might as well buy a fucking house there."
"Our Jewish passengers prefer something cheaper than economy class."
"I rescued it from a Smithsonian dumpster!"
I have found this video can really come in handy.
"It has more stops than you can shake a joystick at. Speaking of which, how's your joystick?"
"Look, asshole, I'm a millenial. If I can help you with anything I'll let you know."
"May I suggest that you relieve yourself toward the rear of the plane this time."
"As a "Frequent Flyer" you may board early, but please refrain from using the rest room until after take off."
"Yeah? Well let me tell you something, mister. JetBlue couldn't carry my jockstrap."
"Mr. Jefferson, we found your airplane."
"Hi, my name is Wilbur and I'm going to be your co-pilot for today."
I'm sorry sir, only one carry-on. And yes, unfortunately your colostomy bag does count.
"Well, you can store your bags in the overhead, but I can't guarantee that they'll get there when you do."
"This is Terminal 'D' ... If you want Al ... He's in Terminal Illness!"
"I'm sorry, there are at least 27 unjudged contests ahead of you."
"There's no charge for carrying your departed wife on the plane, however, there is a carrion charge of one dollar a pound, and I don't think you can afford that."
Sure. We fly bi at Gay Airlines.
There is no movie but the "pilot" hums "You Are the Wind Beneath My Wingtips."
"We call that one the Seahawk. She got inches from the terminal and quit running."Jim Cavanaugh
"Luckily, we are already in Chicago."
"I am not in "Sales" but you defiantly booked it".
"It is not about what ydou were sold it is about what you get."
Would you like to sign up for our infrequent flyer program?
"You indicated that you wanted to get there biplane."
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