"Maybe you need your direct reports' applause to fix your erectile dysfunction."
"Please call a doctor- your lectern has lasted way more than four hours."
When you said you were going to give me something orally in bed, I thought you meant medicine
I'm pretty sure the doctor said take an Imodium and call me in the morning.
I think it's time to put 2012 behind you, Mitt.
I liked it better when the sea was your mistress.
"You never heard of strange bedfellows before?"
"Sorry to disappoint you, but I think you misunderstood what a filibuster is."
"I guess the Murphy Wall Bed caught you unaware!"
"WOW! ... 'That's the worst retrograde ejaculation, I've ever seen!"
"Is that what you call a 'Woody'?
"The orators here are obscene."
The stimulus package didn't work.
If that wasn’t torture, I don’t know what is.
Try not to stay up too late denying climate change tonight.
There's no need for you to master debate when I'm here.
"Save the speeches for Malcolm X. I just want to get laid."
"I'm not a big pillow talk kinda gal. Speaking of 'big pillows'..."
"I feel an election coming on."
Your start up idea of making gag sleeping bags for politicians might be a little too nichey.
"If you reelect me, I promise to fuck you the same way for another four years."
"If it only gets held once every four years, I think I'll become a lobbyist."
"You've been screwing the American people again, haven't you?"
"Teleprompt dirty to me."
"Read me a bedtime story ... And this time ... I want to know what happened to Old Yeller."
"I see your shin found you a new pudendum!"
"You really need to see a podiumdaistrist."
"I only asked for sex. You don't need to give an acceptance speech."Jim Cavanaugh
You're right. You do get really stiff behind a podium.
"Hannibal? Hannibal Lectern?"
"When you're done jacking-off, Spencer, you're needed on the bridge-to-nowhere project."
"I'll be your Toastmistress if you let me whip your butter."
"An original style of sweet talk, but a fuck is still totally out of the question."
It took constant practice for W. to perfect his speaking skills. Jim Cavanaugh
"Remember when al's commentaries featured strikethroughs? They were better than sex....with you that is."
"My Watergate broke."
"What's your position on missionaries?
"Don't even think of passing a motion."
"Now that I've given you your erectorial vote, the least you can do is take me out to dinner !"
Your "I have a dream re-enactment is keeping me awake.
"Ya know, Tim, you sit on the wall in your chair during therapy, and bring your hopeless campaign to bed every night, then wonder why I have Links Behavioral Disorder."
"I said, "Erection" not bring a election to bed."
"Promise them that you'll have the cartoon link back to the real contest, like in the old days."
"There will be a short Q&A period following coitus."
Up until sleeping with you I was pro-life!
"Hey Al, are you about to announce the Anti-Cap winners yet? I hope so because the sex was a total anticlimax."
Happy New Year, Anti-Cappers!
And Happy Hijri all you De-Cappers!
I see you have a fear of pubic speaking.
"As a metallurgist, are you more a fan of iron or just an ore hater?"Jim Cavanaugh
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