Tuesday, December 16, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #456


52 comments:

NJ-to-TX said...

"Maybe you need your direct reports' applause to fix your erectile dysfunction."

LR said...

"Please call a doctor- your lectern has lasted way more than four hours."

JohnnyB said...

When you said you were going to give me something orally in bed, I thought you meant medicine

boneguy said...

I'm pretty sure the doctor said take an Imodium and call me in the morning.

boneguy said...

I think it's time to put 2012 behind you, Mitt.

boneguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
boneguy said...

I liked it better when the sea was your mistress.

Tim H said...

"You never heard of strange bedfellows before?"

Dex said...

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I think you misunderstood what a filibuster is."

Dr Sumguy said...

"I guess the Murphy Wall Bed caught you unaware!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"WOW! ... 'That's the worst retrograde ejaculation, I've ever seen!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Is that what you call a 'Woody'?

Anonymouse said...

"The orators here are obscene."

Anonymous said...

The stimulus package didn't work.

Anonymous said...

If that wasn’t torture, I don’t know what is.

SalmonOfDoubt said...

Try not to stay up too late denying climate change tonight.

JohnnyB said...

There's no need for you to master debate when I'm here.

80s pop culture reference said...

"Save the speeches for Malcolm X. I just want to get laid."

Kathy H said...

"I'm not a big pillow talk kinda gal. Speaking of 'big pillows'..."

Jabba said...

"I feel an election coming on."

boneguy said...

Your start up idea of making gag sleeping bags for politicians might be a little too nichey.

pg13 said...

"If you reelect me, I promise to fuck you the same way for another four years."

Anonymous said...

"If it only gets held once every four years, I think I'll become a lobbyist."

Anonymous said...

"You've been screwing the American people again, haven't you?"

NJ-to-TX said...

"Teleprompt dirty to me."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Read me a bedtime story ... And this time ... I want to know what happened to Old Yeller."

Dr Sumguy said...

"I see your shin found you a new pudendum!"

NJ-to-TX said...

"You really need to see a podiumdaistrist."

Anonymous said...

"I only asked for sex. You don't need to give an acceptance speech."

Jim Cavanaugh

Richard said...

You're right. You do get really stiff behind a podium.

Anonymous said...

"Hannibal? Hannibal Lectern?"

Anonymous said...

"When you're done jacking-off, Spencer, you're needed on the bridge-to-nowhere project."

Greenie Stik-M-Caps said...

"I'll be your Toastmistress if you let me whip your butter."

Anonymous said...

"An original style of sweet talk, but a fuck is still totally out of the question."

Anonymous said...

It took constant practice for W. to perfect his speaking skills.

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

"Remember when al's commentaries featured strikethroughs? They were better than sex....with you that is."

Anonymous said...

"My Watergate broke."

Greenie Stik-M-Caps said...

"What's your position on missionaries?

Anonymous said...

"Don't even think of passing a motion."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Now that I've given you your erectorial vote, the least you can do is take me out to dinner !"

gfwrite said...

Your "I have a dream re-enactment is keeping me awake.

Anonymous said...

"Ya know, Tim, you sit on the wall in your chair during therapy, and bring your hopeless campaign to bed every night, then wonder why I have Links Behavioral Disorder."

Don Don said...

"I said, "Erection" not bring a election to bed."

Anonymous said...

"Promise them that you'll have the cartoon link back to the real contest, like in the old days."

Anonymous said...

"There will be a short Q&A period following coitus."

DanB said...

Up until sleeping with you I was pro-life!

Anonymous said...

"Hey Al, are you about to announce the Anti-Cap winners yet? I hope so because the sex was a total anticlimax."

JohnnyB said...

Happy New Year, Anti-Cappers!

Anonymous said...

And Happy Hijri all you De-Cappers!

smuck said...

I see you have a fear of pubic speaking.

Anonymous said...

"As a metallurgist, are you more a fan of iron or just an ore hater?"

Jim Cavanaugh

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