Tuesday, December 2, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #454


51 comments:

NJ-to-TX said...

"The Christians had Hell right, but basically you're fucked either way."

JohnnyB said...

Somebody stole the pearls. We're not taking chances anymore.

JohnnyB said...

The fucking clouds get all over everything. They stick to your face everything. And yes, P. C. Vey is very talented at signing his name in the cloud.

NJ-to-TX said...

"He likes Turner Classic Movies, what can I say."

boneguy said...

What did you think Jew Heaven would look like?

boneguy said...

Think of it as Gitmo for good people.

boneguy said...

Ever since ISIS arrived on the scene, I've been getting wicked writer's cramp.

boneguy said...

It's "Steampunk Week".

SalmonOfDoubt said...

This one guy did escape a couple thousand years ago, but he was sent back to us on a cross pretty quickly.

Anonymous said...

Guten tag, herr Hitler.

Kathy H said...

"Hello, Mr. Concertina, we've been waiting for you."

Tim H said...

"Much like the Roach Motel®, you can check in, but you can't check out."

Anonymouse said...

"It's called irony."

Anonymous said...

"We can't have any more Negroes entering the House of the Lord looking to find Christ."

NJ-to-TX said...

"There's no open carry in here. Drop 'em and spread your butt cheeks."

LR said...

"Anyone caught upskirting or playin' grab-ass spends a night in the box."

Kathy H said...

"Hey, you just made it under the wire!"

Anonymous said...

"For some of our inmates the concept of eternity is a total mindfuck."

Satireguy said...

"We're a little tight financially so we've taken a contract with the American penal system."

Big G said...

"Get over it, Pussy."

NJ-to-TX said...

"Heaven is a sinister place."

Anonymouse said...

"It's our Artists-in-Residence's take on a Crown of Thorns."

Tim H said...

"We welcome all. Even the one-armed and faceless. But, just don't try to, y'know, escape."

Dex said...

"Its a pretty simple translation problem--'electric razor wire' came out as 'pearly'"

Tim H said...

"When I first started here this was a much nicer neighborhood."

Dr Sumguy said...

"According to your will, you specified a gated community!"

REX said...

"The barbed wires fence? That's because people are….wait for it….dying to get in. Get it? DYING to get it? Here in hell you'll hear silly puns like that all the time. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. EVERY DAY!" (Hideous satanic laugh.)

Chris said...

"We had to put it up after that Jesus guy got out and was loose for 3 days"

Greenie Stik-M-Caps said...

"I'm sorry⎯while you were laying around in a drug induced coma authorized by your ex-wife, your wireless access plan expired two business days before you did."

Greenie Stik-M-Caps said...

"Before I let your participles pass, you'll have to pay your syntax."

boneguy said...

Do you know any dead IT guys? My database software is as old as creation.

Jabba said...

"OK, it's been overhyped, but apparently the joint down the road has rivers of booze and 72 horny virgins on tap."

Dr Sumguy said...

"The toilet? ... Cloud 9, and this time put the seat up!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"I have you down for 'Go To Hell' at seven! ... Remember if your a no show ... We'll still charge your MasterCard!"

Don Don said...

"How many time do I have to say, No one gets in until everyone gets in?"

Anonymous said...

"I know Jesus, it has been a long wait."

Anonymous said...

"It is Heaven OR Hell".

Anonymous said...

"Eternity is eternity until that "First generation" that gets it right."

boneguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
boneguy said...

The fucking TSA just doesn't know when to stop.

JohnnyB said...

Do you have a reservation?

JohnnyB said...

I will judge you long before Al does.

gfwrite said...

Yeah, well, ya know, everyone's got "the right God" and we can't have them getting mixed up.

Anonymous said...

'We did not want to make it too easy for the Mexicans to get in."

Anonymous said...

This is a fasaude. There is no "Other" place but Earth ... Dumb ass.

Anonymous said...

"It is what it is."

Anonymous said...

"It's all a plan perpetrated by the man to keep us all down."

Anonymous said...

"Remember that time you screamed 'fuck you, God' when your wife died? Well, fuck you, Steve!"

Anonymous said...

"Some just can't take "No" for an answer".

Anonymous said...

"LOL, Can't have heaven until you stop the killing".

Anonymous said...

"Don't worry. No one will judge you here."

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Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.