Monday, November 24, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #453



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WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
"As a toreador, are you more a fan of Aaron Spelling or do you adore Tori?"--Shelly (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The courage it must have taken to post this. Actually it was among a batch of three caps lauched with one thunderous entry. Let me once again point out that entries with multiple caps are seldom worthwhile. Luckily the pratice has been on the wane. The word play here is either from someone trying to be obnoxious or clever. Hard to say. A narcarist with delustionary tendencies, most likely. As for the question poised: Why does it have to be an either/or type of thing?)

SECOND PLACE
I'll guarantee you the one eliminated ISN'T getting interviewed on TV tomorrow.--gfwrite (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A bizzaro world DWTS that hints at bestiality but concludes with one of the dancers being slaughtered. A death by mambo type of thing. Sounds good! [Fox are you listening?] But who is doing the talking? When the dance is over, wouldn't it be awkward to have a person, or even worse a bull, put down on national TV? Asks more questions than it answers but the effort is there. )

THIRD PLACE

"I'll steer."--NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A painful pun from a reliable yet temperamental anti-capper. It took an eerie turn 11 hours later when the next cap, posted by every one's favorite anti-capper, Anonymous, said "Jew follow." As in "I'll steer, Jew follow." Funny, no? The part two is a bit more edgy, but was it over the line? Whether NJ-to-TX will take umbrage remains to be seen. Stay tuned.)

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Pasodoble, you crazy bastard, how are you?--JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Who know what? I have no idea what Pasodole means and I don't care. If it is good enough for Johonny B...)

"The Horas here are obscene."
-- Pi Ling Ahn (JUDGE'S COMMENT: If it is good enough for Pi... )

I, too, was disappointed with your honoring of the anti-Semitic caption for the pigs-at-the-trough cartoon and your subsequent failure to apologize. Sometimes it's best to say "I made a mistake" and move on. -- Satire guy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: It is touching to know your judge is revered by anti-cappers as a trusted and benevolent man of good faith and cheer to all, no matter their race creed or sexual shenanigans. Sure. Noted. But it's been said that Jews only love free speech because it's free. Mazel tov and  l'chaim, my sensitive friend.)


"It's good there aren't any Camel Jockeys, Frogs, Oreos, Uncle Toms, Kykes, Spics, Guidos, Squaws, Nips, Degos, Coons, Krauts, Redskins, Chinks, or Towelheads here to see this. Wait...did I say Spics?"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Yes...You did. But you also screwed the pooch. The original classic anti-cap line is, “It's a good thing there are no black people around to see this.” Far from being racist, it is a commentary on how blacks are rarely seen in NYer cartoons. It suggests that the image is so lame it's a good thing it's not being inflicted on the very group being systematically excluded. But since the anti-cap unleashed all those naughty words it is being “honored” here. The blow back be damned.)

42 comments:

NJ-to-TX said...

"Someday, i will fume angrily as I interview you in my office."

boneguy said...

Look at me. I'm always horny.

Anonymous said...

"I'm tired of warming-up for that psychobilly bullshit band."

Shelly said...

"I don't mind doing the hokey, but that pokey part kinda worries me."

JohnnyB said...

Pasodoble, you crazy bastard, how are you?

JohnnyB said...

Dance like no one is watching. Because they aren't.

JohnnyB said...

They call me Bull Cosby. Did you take the pill I gave you?

JohnnyB said...

They say, “Eat, drink and be merry
Take the bull by the horns”
I keep seeing visions of you, a lily among thorns
Everything looks a little blurry to me

Anonymous said...

"We may be showing our sensitive side, but all those philistines want is a big bucket of blood."

Tim H said...

"I should be good. I come from a long line of hoofers."

SalmonOfDoubt said...

When you’re dragging my disemboweled corpse around the stadium, remember me like this.

Anonymous said...

"I keep my friends close, and my enemies closer, Javier Boredom."

Anonymous said...

"Las horas aqui son obsceno."

Juanny B.?

boneguy said...

Now follow my lead. Juan, two, three, Juan, two, three....

Satireguy said...

"How's the crowd taking it?"

Don Don said...

"I think I should be leading."

Greenie Stik-M-Caps said...

"Everyone's going to the cape."

NJ-to-TX said...

"It's a cock ring. When the hell have you ever seen a bullfight where a bull had a regular old nose ring?"

Shelly said...

"For Thanksgiving this year, you should really have capon."

"Did you back Gore in 2000? Well I'm gonna gore your back in about 2 minutes."

"As a toreador, are you more a fan of Aaron Spelling or do you adore Tori?"

Anonymouse said...

"Sounds like the crowd wants you to dance naked, like me."

Kathy H said...

"Rome? Ha! These are the real Spanish Steps!!"

Kathy H said...

"La via del tren subterraneo es peligrosa."

Anonymous said...

"This is nothing. I went toe to toe with Benecio del Turnover during the state finals of '85."

Boof said...

"Step on my hoof again pal and it's red rag time."

JohnnyB said...

Christ, what a paso doble.

NJ-to-TX said...

"Nobody puts baby in the corner."

Anonymous said...

"If this erection lasts more than four hours you better see a doctor."

gfwrite said...

I'll guarantee you the one eliminated ISN'T getting interviewed on TV tomorrow.

Dex said...

"Seriously? You can't do a basic foxtrot? This isn't a junior high dance!"

boneguy said...

Are my recent castration and new found obsession with dance just a coincidence?

Anonymous said...

"That SRO sign was just a bunch of bullshit."

NJ-to-TX said...

"I'll steer."

Anonymous said...

"Jew follow."

Anonymous said...

"The Horas here are obscene."

Pi Ling Ahn

boneguy said...

What irony that we met in a leather bar.

Anonymous said...

"I get it. You're thinking Waltz Roast Beef."

Anonymous said...

"I decapeitate my victims."

Tim H said...

"Haven't we met before? Pamplona, perhaps?"

Satireguy said...

I, too, was disappointed with your honoring of the anti-Semitic caption for the pigs-at-the-trough cartoon and your subsequent failure to apologize. Sometimes it's best to say "I made a mistake" and move on.

Satireguy said...

"How's the crowd taking it, Pedro?"

Anonymous said...

"It's good there aren't any Camel Jockeys, Frogs, Oreos, Uncle Toms, Kykes, Spics, Guidos, Squaws, Nips, Degos, Coons, Krauts, Redskins, Chinks, or Towelheads here to see this. Wait...did I say Spics?"

Anonymous said...

"If you think a bit of dirty dancing is going to lead to a roll in the hay, you're dreaming bub."

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