Tuesday, July 29, 2014

New Yorker Anti Caption Contest # 437















WINNERS


FIRST PLACE
We're going to need a bigger cat.--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This is just eerie. The cartoon that follows this has a huge cat leering into a window. Clearly boneguy had no way of knowing that when he posted this entry. The Jaws reference is a little lame but not unimaginative. It's just impressive that boneguy conjured up a bigger cat.)
SECOND PLACE
"Let's feed 'em those two guys in that fish bowl."--Tim H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A statement on the human condition. Some people have two fish tanks: One for the fish they like and another for smaller fish that get fed the ones they like. I always found that creepy.)

THIRD PLACE
"Keep smiling and don't break eye contact." 
[Woman slowly backs into house and shuts door. Sound of ruffling feathers and screaming.]--reid savid (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The narrative description in brackets sells this one. It demonstrates sophistication and effort. Important qualities that are not inter-changeable.)

HONORABLE MENTIONS
"Oh, honey, art's imitating life; a Nuthatch and a Red-cockaded Woodpecker have found their way into your asshole again."--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A somewhat baffling reach-back, this is the Second Place winner for a Radosh-judged contest posted on May 10, 2010. I found all that out because I was compelled to Google: “Nuthatch and a Red-cockaded Woodpecke.” The question then, as now: How is that funny?)
"The devourers around here are avian."--Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A bit of a reach, but Kathy comes through with a caption classic. Uses two words we almost never hear. )


"Godfather, Schmodfather! Remind me to call alinla and tell him that Abe Vigoda also starred in the sitcom Fish."--Anonymouse (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I'm proud of the fact that I didn't know that. I believe an artist should be most closely associated with his best work, which, incidentally, is why I do not use my full name here. I though about including my actual phone number to see if anyone would actually call me, but then I thought, What if someone actually did? )

53 comments:

Anonymouse said...

"Let's see the Joneses top that!"

Kathy H said...

"The devourers around here are avian."

Tim H said...

"Let's feed 'em those two guys in that fish bowl."

reid savid said...

"What the fuck are you looking at, bird?"

boneguy said...

Looks like someone found Mark McGwire's
secret stash.

Anonymous said...

"I see the pecker enlargement therapy was a success."

reid savid said...

"Keep smiling and don't break eye contact."
[Woman slowly backs into house and shuts door. Sound of ruffling feathers and screaming.]

Dex said...

"Screw GMO, fry 'em up!"

Shawn said...

I'm going to need a bigger gun.

Dr Sumguy said...

"The're 'Red Breasted Mattress Thrashers' ... Just flew in from Zone 51!"

boneguy said...

We're going to need a bigger cat.

Dr Sumguy said...

"'OH MY GOD' ... 'FOSTER IMPOSTER CHICKENS" ... Splains the '67 Plymouth Belvedere in the driveway!!!"

boneguy said...

I always thought the Ravens were juicing.

Anonymous said...

"Ever wonder if we had kids what they'd look like??"

LR said...

"Hey Uncle Fester, keep your eyes on the feeder and off her cloaca!"

Anonymous said...

"Whad'ya think of my couscous last night?"

Anonymous said...

"Oh, honey, art's imitating life; a Nuthatch and a Red-cockaded Woodpecker have found their way into your asshole again."

Anonymous said...

WTF! An educated person with writing skills just entered the contest.

Anonymous said...

"It's quaint, but scary, too. I was fucked by a Cardinal when I was a boy"

gfwrite said...

Reminds me. Did you take your flyagra or whatever it is?

gfwrite said...

Not what I had in mind when I rubbed the genie's lantern, but it's understandable. Huge peckers aren't they?

Anonymous said...

"Nice, Frank, but I really miss some of those blackbirds back in the ghetto."

boneguy said...

That reminds me, when are you going to take care of the four pound roach in the kitchen?

Tim H said...

"Paging Tippy Hedren."

Anonymouse said...

"Hon, it's at times like these when I don't mind being 3 inches tall."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Here's the deal ... Either you get more birdseed ... Or I'm calling Dick Cheney!"

Satireguy said...

"I think it's time to cut back on the growth hormones in the birdseed."

Satireguy said...

"OK but you clean the lawn."

Anonymous said...

"What's next—Cookie Monsters?"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Time to call, 'Angie's List'!"

Don Don said...

“The shading seems wrong, like they were added by another artist or at a different time".

pg13 said...

"Sorry about your windshield."

NAMBY said...

"No Morris. I did NOT say I wanted a big chick to cluck."

Anonymous said...

"I said I want a cock that goes off without a hitch. Do you hear anything I say?"

pg13 said...

"That's the second time this week that a large migrant group has fertilized the lawn."

NJtoTX said...

"Are there any vets the murder hasn't murdered yet?"

Tash said...

Just like the commercial said, "It's gro time!"

Shelly said...

"Who knew they would take such a liking to strands of your hair as nesting material."

"I'd rather have the squirrels back."

"I'm dreading the day they become fully grown, and develop a taste for meat. That book they all flock around, 'How to Serve Man'...it's a COOKBOOK!"

Tim H said...

"I hope that when I'm on Jeopardy! next week one of the categories is Big Birds."

Kathy H said...

"Let's go back inside. Sharknado 2 is coming on."

Anonymouse said...

"Godfather, Schmodfather! Remind me to call alinla and tell him that Abe Vigoda also starred in the sitcom Fish."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Being small and Mongoloid, does have it's disadvantages!"

Anonymous said...

"A bird in the bush is worth two in the hands, George."

Satireguy said...

"You know they won't fit in the oven."

boneguy said...

What did you think a turkducken looks like before it's butchered?

JohnnyB said...

No, Mr. Bird, I expect you to fly.

JohnnyB said...

I just want to know if you see them too ... and what was in that joint you gave me, JohnnyB?

JohnnyB said...

Don't worry about a t'ing,
'Cause every little t'ing gonna be all right.

JohnnyB said...

I got a bird that whistles
I got a bird that sings
And one that wobbles as she flies.
It's cuckoo, Corrina.

JohnnyB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
NJtoTX said...

"Luca Brasi sleeps with the finches."

Satireguy said...

Tippi Hedren and Rod Taylor enjoy their retirement in Bodega Bay.

Satireguy said...

"Mr. Marley's three little birds done growed up."

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Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.