Monday, March 31, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #422


62 comments:

Steve_O said...

"I won't tell you where I had to stick my pencils."

Evan said...

"It's faster than snail mail."

Anonymous said...

"This backlog of anti-cap entries is killing me."

NJ-to-TX said...

"My hare-brained boss is a vindictive prick. Wish I'd let the bastard win."

NJ-to-TX said...

"I'm being featured in an episode of Hoarders."

boneguy said...

My Staples closed for good because of slow service.

boneguy said...

I just got hired as an efficiency expert by the VA.

boneguy said...

Don't push me in. I'm what's holding Obamacare together.

boneguy said...

The Q4 report is a giant pain in the ass. Literally .

Dr Sumguy said...

"I've got a Klingon in my cloaca, and I haven't been able to digest this shit ever since!"

Tim H said...

"The University of Maryland. And you?"

LR said...

"It's a pain but I get a big deduction for using my shell as an office."

Anonymous said...

"HR gives you fifteen fucking minutes to clear out your desk."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Yes! ... I do have a copy of the 'Gutenberg Bible'! ... It's on level 16 next to my gallbladder!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"You could call it a Shell corporation ... I prefer the term 'Pump and Dump!"

boneguy said...

Maybe the moon works for you, but I navigate with a good grasp of our earning forecasts.

Anonymous said...

"Sorry. Invalid password. Try logging in again using the password I have on file."

reid savid said...

Michelangelo and Rafael turned back into regular turtles. No one knows why. They tried to file their own taxes.

Dr Sumguy said...

"I think I'm ahead ... The hare was on flight #370!"

Turtle Lawyer said...

"Don't you know what a Tort is?"

Anonymous said...

"Get out of my way, you lazy piece of shit."

Anonymous said...

'My interest in coming up with an anti-cap is marginal at best so who gives a shit."

reid savid said...

"I said, give me your shell."

Michael Colleone said...

"Don't ask me about my business, Kay."

james said...

ACA Facilitator. You?

Anonymous said...

"I'm swamped."

Rich Lather said...

Don't know!? I've just always preferred paperback to hardcover.

Anonymous said...

"Log off you eco-friendly paperless piece of shit."

Anonymous said...

"Which way to H&R Block?"

Jim Cavanaugh

pg13 said...

"Talk to me about mating season after the 15th."

Dr Sumguy said...

Note ... Pufferfish is the nickname Romney gave C.C., after he was rejected as a running mate, because of his obesity.

Anonymous said...

"Big layoff at the Turtle Wax factory."

Anonymous said...

Hey Dr. Sumturtle here's a tip. "Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind."
— E. B. White

Anonymous said...

working from home sucks

Anonymous said...

"The hare would have just announced winners for all those past contests. I'm a bit more deliberate."

boneguy said...

This is the last time I offer to clean out the take out menus from Chris Christie's glove compartment.

Steve_O said...

"Lotsa work as Minority Leader of the Senate. Ayep."

Boof said...

"That stuff about home offices having a low overhead is a pile of crock."

Anonymous said...

"Now how do I get these up to that
cloud you were telling me about the other day?"

Anonymous said...

Have you seen my shell?

Anonymous said...

"Yea, I have issues; I have no money or education to do anything with my ideas along with being controversial to liberals, too quick with the insults and taking your one idea to get on this log in this tsunami of negativism to save my vast sum of worthless enlightenment.”

Don Don said...

"If it is a new idea, then there are only potentially wrong things with it."

Anonymous said...

"I must seem as silly as you seem silly to me."

Anonymouse said...

Turtle #1:
The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.


Turtle #2:
Shaddup!

gfwrite said...

I know I'm slow and late, but I've GOT to get this to the Caymans by the 15th.

Anonymous said...

"Coming out of one's shell is a lot of work........Asshole!"

Roger McGaugh said...

Steve? My name is Steve too.

Roger McGaugh said...

Does this outfit make me look fat?

Roger McGaugh said...

I've increased my fiber intake.

Roger McGaugh said...

I decided to make a hard copy of my facebook page to share with friends who don't have access to the Web.

Roger McGaugh said...

...and I always seem to get picked last for Dodge Ball.

Roger McGaugh said...

...the fax machine? You don't want to know.

Anonymous said...

"This is what co dependency looks like; we get flooded out and I save all of your stuff."

Anonymous said...


"This is not love, it is a sickness."

Anonymous said...

"Where is your ID? No, I did not save your ID."

smuck said...

"Harried Tubman would later become famous for his work freeing slaves on the underground railroad."

Anonymous said...

"Is worry the same as carrying? How can I solve anything if I am not able to understand? Do I really want to take on the burden of change predicated on my shallow depth of the perceived conundrum? Do I care about individuals or is it just the Macro possibilities that drive me even though my contributions seem apparent dose that matter? Do I care or is it just possibilities that I conjure to distract me from the simpleton aspects of my negligent life?"

Anonymous said...

"Yea, I have heard of "Turtles all the way down"… That old lady is right…. Everything is turtles, turtles everywhere and if you have enough turtles you can make really big turtles and if ya have a bunch of really big turtles you can make turtles in other dimensions. Turtles, turtles everywhere.”

Anonymous said...

"This is who I am; codependent on stuff."

Anonymous said...

"There's love and there is a cry for love."

Anonymous said...

"Like me, if you start out young enough, the agents will think all your material is original."

Anonymous said...


"I'm a turtle; how much can it slow me down?"

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Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.