Monday, March 24, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #421




























WINNERS

FIRST PLACE

"Of course there's not a single black rhino in this cartoon."--Steve_O (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Brilliant! Steve_O nailed it like Harry Reems [RIP]. The absence of black people in NYer cartoons is, of course, a perennial sore spot for Anti-Cappers. How good is this entry? It is so good that this cap, and this cap alone, prompted me to get off my ass and render results for this contest and the one preceding it. [Needless to say “get off my ass” is just a metaphor. I am, of course, sitting on my ass while doing this-- go figure.] )


SECOND PLACE
"They remind you of me how?"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A fitting reminder that dialog between a man and a woman can be a minefield. You can just hear the nervous response: “Well...um...for one thing you both like coffee.”)

THIRD PLACE
"I love that this place explores the themes of conformity, culture, mass movements, philosophy and morality, but a goddamn latte shouldn't cost $6.35."--NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A nice little dig at Starbucks. Sometimes I go in, pick up copy of the NY Times,  fold it under my arm,  feign interest in the over-priced menu for a few moments...then casually stroll out. Saves me $2.50)

HONORABLE MENTIONS
"Honestly. I can't believe they all missed that the name of this place is The Chinese Rhino Holocaust Cafe and they're all going to be killed for their horns." --Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Well intended but clumsy and tasteless. Why would they be served coffee if they are just going to be slaughtered? And who would be stupid enough to incorporate the word “holocaust” in the name of a cafe? I mean, what's their slogan, “We like coffee, How 'bout jew?” )

Wow. The GOP made good on their threat to purge all the 
RINOs.--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: We'd have to assume the ousted Republicans gathered at a coffee shoppe to commiserate. Nice to see Anti-Cap stud boneguy is still sticking around.)

"I just can't get enough of Spirit Rhino."
2 minutes later...

"...or is it Spearmint Rhino? Either way."--Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Kathy H, bless her heart, can't get straight the preposterous name of a line of strip bars. Apparently it does not appear on her resume.)

"It's like "McCarthyism", no I guess it IS McCarthyism, because once you start making lists you will end up with ... Pole Pot, Nazis, NSA or the Rhino list.”--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Just a guess, but this may also allude to Republicans who detest non-extremists. Also, I knew that Pole Pot, is NOT a drug reference because I majored in Political Science – an other -wise completely useless major.)


"To Rhine-known self be true. That has to be good enough to win something on the Anti-cap? Right?"--MAX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Would have been much better if it said “bad enough to win” and, really, what do you actually win other than the faint recognition of some guy in L.A. whose interest in this is marginal at best. But thanks to all who entered and have remained devoted Anti-Cappers.)










62 comments:

Evan said...

It's pretty crowded. Should we wait, or just go eat somewhere else?

reid savid said...

"I just don't get African class structure."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Most of them order an 'Iced Rhinorrhea', and a few of the fertile females get a shot of 'Rhino Shield'!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"The stench could be worse ... Most of them are wearing 'Under Armour'!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"I don't mean to pry, but ... Your nose is beautiful ... Have you had a ty?"

Anonymous said...

"I'll go outside and knock over some motorcycles."

Anonymous said...

"They remind you of me how?"

NJ-to-TX said...

"This is the only place that takes Rhinoplastic."

boneguy said...

Wow. The GOP made good on their threat to purge all the
RINOs.

boneguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr Sumguy said...

"Thats It! ... Now I remember ... Get Propane!"

Tim H said...

"Once you get past the stench, the coffee is pretty good."

Anonymouse said...

"For some reason, this place makes me horny."

Kathy H said...

"I just can't get enough of Spirit Rhino."

Kathy H said...

"...or is it Spearmint Rhino? Either way."

boneguy said...

Watch this. The server asked them how they want to charge it.

boneguy said...

It seems true that the French and Rhinos only travel abroad in groups.

Anonymouse said...

"Is it Restaurant Week already?"

Steve_O said...

"Of course there's not a single black rhino in this cartoon."

Tim H said...

"I hear they're lousy tippers."

Kathy H said...

"Eugène Ionesco used to come in here all of the time."

Anonymouse said...

"Zagat's says that this is where all of the odd-toed ungulates eat."

Anonymous said...

This must be the new political "Rhino" party (short-tempered). drmrs 3/25/2014

Anonymous said...

"Fucking Ed McMahon impersonators."

MAX said...

"To Rhine-known self be true. That has to be good enough to win something on the Anti-cap? Right?"

Anonymous said...

I'm horny

Kris Kathy Knowles said...

"Hey look, I'm Abe the Asshole. I have a great idea. Let's emancipate the F'ing Rhinos"

LR said...

"That's right, rhinos are pachyderms, so they're taking advantage of Pachy Hour."

Anonymous said...

"Come down on one of them so we'll have a fucking place to sit."

Dr Sumguy said...

"It looks like the 'Teapartiers' have now gone public, masquerading as an endangered feces ... er ... species!"

boneguy said...

Until they get opposable thumbs, the coffee's just gonna sit there.

Dr Sumguy said...

"OH THE STENCH! THE STENCH ... judy?"

Dr Sumguy said...

It's Wall to Wall ... Wall!"

Levon Delight said...

looks like that rhino virus is spreading

Anonymous said...

"It's like "McCarthyism", no I guess it IS McCarthyism, because once you start making lists you will end up with ... Pole Pot, Nazis, NSA or the Rhino list.”

Tim H said...

"I gotta hand it them. For huge beasts they have great posture."

Dr Sumguy said...

"QUICK ... Table #8 is getting ready to def vacate!"

Anonymous said...

"I told ya we shoulda gone to The Pig Sty across the street."

boneguy said...

I guess they heard this is the place where single hippos hang out.

Anonymous said...

"Cripes, Annie, I told ya we'd be in the horn section. Do you hear anything I say?"

Kathy H said...

"Funny thing. When I came in here yesterday -- not one rhino. Go figure."

Dr Sumguy said...

"They use the big horn to blow the chauffeur!"

NJ-to-TX said...

"I love that this place explores the themes of conformity, culture, mass movements, philosophy and morality, but a goddamn latte shouldn't cost $6.35."

Anonymous said...

Rhino? More like Homo

Anonymouse said...

"It looks like one of them flash mobs."

Anonymous said...

They're afraid to go to sleep cuz the Chinese want to kill them.

Dex said...

"Ordering poached eggs was a bit insensitive."

NJ-to-TX said...

"Oh, so we're not going to talk about the elephant in the room."

Dex said...

"I just said you are getting a little fat -- Jeez, maybe you should grow a thicker skin."

Jess said...

"Careful Emma! They're highly territorial and easily provoked."

Boof said...

"Did you just fart?"

Anonymous said...

All right, we can go back to the cafe with the black people in it.

boneguy said...

Looks like the entire horn section of the NY Philharmonic beat us here.

Anonymous said...

"Honestly. I can't believe they all missed that the name of this place is The Chinese Rhino Holocaust Cafe and they're all going to be killed for their horns."

Dr Sumguy said...

"It's 'Rhino Hashanah', the 'Ungulate New Year'!"

Steve_O said...

"And you're still not the best looking female in the place."

Anonymous said...

"This better be an eats, shoots and leaves joke."

Anonymous said...

"Oh...it's pronounced rhinoceri? Well excuuuuuse me! I shoulda married that slut Karen."

Anonymous said...

"It's not Thanksgiving, but I see horn a'plenty"

Steve_O said...

"That reminds me, Arlene. Have you scheduled your nose job yet?"

Anonymous said...

"Hand me the quiche you fucking cocksucker."

Dr Sumguy said...

"No one is wearing a collar! I think we've wandered into a 'Stray' bar!"

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Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.