Sunday, March 16, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #420













WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
"It doesn't matter what the final score is. I decide who wins."--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The opposite of funny but highly insightful. In 2000, the Supreme Court effectively handed the presidency of the United States to a candidate who received exactly 543,895  fewer votes than his opponent. And, no, I have not gotten over it.)

SECOND PLACE
I think the McEnroe v. World ruling was overkill for this sport.--gfwrite (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A commentary on the bad-sport former tennis pro John McEnroe. He proved that a major asshole can still be highly successful. Other examples abound. [See First Place comment.])

THIRD PLACE
"Scalia, you crazy bastard! How the heck are you ruling on this one?"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Nice to see someone has not forgotten our cherished classic Anti-Caps. This works because Antonin Scalia is indeed a crazy bastard. Quick reminder: It has long been a pet peeve of mine when Anti-Cappers insert “heck” or “hell” into this one. For the record the original is: “Fusilli you crazy bastard. How are you?")

HONORABLE MENTIONS

This comment has been removed by the author.--JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: It would appear that legendary Anti-Capper Johnny B was ready to stage a comeback, but decided “Why bother?” Nice to see your name the line up even if it was scratched, J.B. )

Nice striptease, JohnnyB.--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Cute. But this does not work because the subject matter in question is not a comic strip. So this is an appropriate tribute that hinges on an inappropriate pun. [See what your missing Johnny?] )

"The hours here are supreme."--al in la (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Yes, I was the one who entered this. I figured it was a low impact way of demonstrating my interest.)

"Arthur Dexter Bradley’s still in the game, but it ain't him to blame. He's only a pawn. Everybody said they'd stand behind him when the game got rough. Couldn't help but make me feel ashamed to live in a land where justice is a game."--NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A mangled nod to Bob that borrows from three songs. [Do you really need me to name them?] The effort is appreciated, such as it is. My favorite Dylan quote may be this: “Behind every beautiful thing, there's been some kind of pain.”)










35 comments:

al in la said...

"The hours here are supreme."

Anonymous said...

"Scalia, you crazy bastard! How the heck are you ruling on this one?"

Levon Delight said...

Who am I to judge?

Levon Delight said...

Which one's Wade?

Levon Delight said...

Ching Chong play ping pong in Hong Kong with his ding dong.

Anonymous said...

"What do you mean 'Out!'? That tennis you fucking wop."

boneguy said...

Was the last thing heard from that airliner a ping or a pong?

boneguy said...

In this economy, you can get the interns to do anything.

boneguy said...

Best three out of five. The loser gets the chair.

LR said...

"I don't know, I keep going back-and-forth on this one."

"Are you kidding? This is a perfect case to hand down to a lower court."

Dr Sumguy said...

"It's Lady Gaga ... She used to be a man ... Basically it's ping pong without balls!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Her cunt is showing! ... Shall I mark that Exhibit 'A'!"

NJ-to-TX said...

"Maybe Clarence will finally open his fucking mouth."

Anonymous said...

"Don't ya get it? We're in recess you dumb fuck."

NJ-to-TX said...

"Pong hits? Aren't we ruling on Bong Hits 4 Jesus?"

reid savid said...

"I miss the foosball table."

Dr Sumguy said...

"It's Renee Richards ... Her latest book is titled ... Table Tennis Without Balls!"

Anonymous said...

What say we knock off and check out the new girl at
"The Dirty Dancer"
?

james said...

Searchers for Malaysia Air Flight 370 are focusing on a couple of pings from the Supreme Court Building.

NJ-to-TX said...

"They only come up to your knees."

Satireguy said...

"I believe these are the opening arguments for Ping v. Pong."

Anonymous said...

"It doesn't matter what the final score is. I decide who wins."

boneguy said...

"Until we have an Asian Supreme Court Justice, this will have to do."

Dr Sumguy said...

"The score? ... Jane Roe 7, Henry Wade 2!"

NJ-to-TX said...

"Arthur Dexter Bradley’s still in the game, but it ain't him to blame. He's only a pawn. Everybody said they'd stand behind him when the game got rough. Couldn't help but make me feel ashamed to live in a land where justice is a game."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Last time she won, she jumped over the net, fractured her pelvis, and had to be aborted!"

gfwrite said...

I think the McEnroe v. World ruling was overkill for this sport.

gfwrite said...

I get my fill of this and an hour later I want more.

Dr Sumguy said...

"His paddle has been indicted for racketeering!"

JohnnyB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Nice striptease, JohnnyB.

Anonymous said...

"Hey, is that Rhino café open yet?"

Sam Welles said...

"Five grand says the courtroom artist has us all paying attention to the case before us, or whatever."

Anonymous said...

Table Tennis. Gay on any court

Anonymous said...

I think the fact that caption contest 420 contains the supreme court preempts a favorable ruling.

Blog Archive

al in la

My photo
Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.