"It is sad that your husband ignores you each week like this. But to be fair, Downton Abbey is a fantastic show."
Freud being penalized 15 yards for clipping. ... (Or, slipping).
"I hate being a virgin!"
Common Penalties in American Psychiatry ... False Start - Premature Ejackulation ... Holding - Can't Pee ... Personal Foul - Take a Bath ... etc.
Mildred does a 'Touchdown Jesus', after overcoming her 'Proctophobia' (Fear of Rectums).
"FUCKED UP FANBOYS! So what's the discount on a family castration?"
Who do I have to twerk to get any attention?
"But, Doc. The goddamned TV isn't even on!"
"Hey! At $300 a session, can't you at least stay awake?!"
Did you see that? Jung kicked a field and put my id into overdrive!
"What do you mean, 'Get me a beer'?"
"I SAID, "SOMETIMES IT'S LIKE HE'S NOT LISTENING TO ME!"
"Hey, Kurt, take care of that ranting Patriots fan over there on the couch!"
"Why should I watch? The bastards can't even beat the spread!"
Doctors say three out of four people like cartoons within panels.
"Because his cock is this big, that's why."
"Why won't anyone listen to me! Al has been kidnapped by Gypsies in Greece!!"
"Get out of my chair and stop holding focus groups in my house!"
Take my word Sigmund. The larger the screen the smaller the penis.
"Answer me this: Whay are they called the New York Jets when they play in New Jersey??"
"Al has a backlog of unjudged contests this big! Look at him and his New York Sessions entourage! He won't even acknowledge that he has a problem!"
What the fuck are these black guys doing in a New Yorker cartoon?
“It’s a third down with inches to go and they want to give up the ball!”
"Mildred recalls her tryst with Wilt Chamberlain's 'Big Dipper' in 1992!"
"If my husband wasn't such a big Jets fan, he would have judged all those anti-caption contests by now!"
"How did I end up in this losers' group therapy session?"
"They get like this every time they watch porn."
"Why the fuck do I pay you, Dr. Sumguy?"
"Oh, looky, I'm Dez Bryant and you're effing Tony Romo!"
I'm a Jets fan. Could you explain this thing called cheering?
"They do not even like football anymore, but gods forgive me if I interfere with his fantasy league."
"They have no idea what the rules are anymore."
"Fuck this, Al."
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