Sunday, October 27, 2013

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #402






















WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
"…figures."--Kate Nelson (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A slam dunk. In the long and storied history of the Anti-Cap, there have been scant few one-word winners. This one one works on levels obvious and not so obvious. Further proof that people who are really good at something can do that something whenever they choose to do that something. Just something to think about.)

SECOND PLACE
"It's a classic case of life imitating cave art."
--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A little pedestrian but maybe one of these guys is named Art and Jim lower-cased it because he is, after all, mistake prone.)
THIRD PLACE
"OK, let's circle 'em."--Puffin (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Why not try to draw them a bit closer? Yeah, I can do it too!)
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"Steve, I've considered your approach, and while it certainly has merit, we can't just sit here forever in front of your vision board. At some point, we actually need to go outside and hunt. We can do this, especially if we work together."--Steve's Supportive Friend (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Long-winded but I get the effort that went into this, if not the actual joke.)
"What do connect-the-dot deer taste like? Kind of gamey."--smuck (JUDGE'S COMMENT: And when you skin them they have no place to hide.)
"What are those creatures?"
"No eye deer."--Levon Delight (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I guess that's when hunters use a deer blind.)
"Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen."
"Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon."--pg13 (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Still trying to out-Dylan me?? This is from the song “It must be Santa” included on Bob's wonderful 2009 album “Christmas In The Heart.” Mrs. al in la insisted it that I pack the CD away with the Christmas decorations so she wouldn't have to hear it hear round. It will, of course, be coming out any day now.)
The Paleolithic Era: Men began to hunt, and al judged his last Anti-Cap Contest.
--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Not to be confused with the Jim Cavanaugh error, which we don't need to bring up. DO we Jim?)
"Which of those 6 contests would you like to judge with your arrow?"--NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: What is amazing, and frankly a bit sad, is that he counted the number of contests that went unjudged. Don't fixate on this, you'll only get your heart broken.)
"This is where unjudged anti-cap contests go to die."--Satireguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: There are a great many things worse that going unjudged.)

46 comments:

Dr Sumguy said...

"What we have here, is a 'Neanderthal Extinction Hypothesis'!

Dr Sumguy said...

"Tell Grodbak his radiocarbon dating is off a few millennia!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Thumbtacks! ... I thought you brought them!"

Levon Delight said...

"What are those creatures?"
"No eye deer."

NJ-to-TX said...

"Thank God for National Rectangle Association."

Puffin said...

"How the fuck did they get off your cave wall?"

Shelly said...

"When we can hit ducks with these spears and our beards get longer, I'm so making a reality show."

pg13 said...

"Looks like we'll be eatin' three squares a day."

pg13 said...

"Don't even think about it. It's like fitting a round peg in a square hole."

Anonymous said...

"They call me boneguy because...well, you'll find out."

Satireguy said...

"Apparently they're part of that new Paleo diet I keep hearing so much about."

LR said...

"If those things were meatier I could quit you, Ennis."

Steve's Supportive Friend said...

"Steve, I've considered your approach, and while it certainly has merit, we can't just sit here forever in front of your vision board. At some point, we actually need to go outside and hunt. We can do this, especially if we work together."

Dr Sumguy said...

"WHAT IS THIS! SOME KIND OF CRUEL HOAX! ..... (Note the Acme Stick Deer Co. truck, not quite visible in the background).

cta said...

"Maybe it is some really good grass? Whatever. Who cares what or who drew them here!"

cta said...

"I just want the wife to prepare a simple meal for me tonight."

cta said...

"I think the mushrooms are starting to kick in."

cta said...

"Did you just say a discouraging word?"

Anonymous said...

"It's a classic case of life imitating cave art."

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

The Paleolithic Era: Men began to hunt, and al judged his last Anti-Cap Contest.

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

"_ ____ ____k___ __'s F_____."

Anonymous said...

"Draw the line somewhere, huh? What are you—a fucking comedian?"

boneguy said...

Remember when Brenda the Bible thumper used to put out practice dinosaurs?

boneguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dex said...

"Bob Ross would have added some happy little trees."

Puffin said...

"Our cartoonist is still stuggling with the animal form."

Dex said...

"I see evidence of Crayon-Magnon man"

boneguy said...

Worst...safari. .ever.

Dr Sumguy said...

"Speak Up! ... What's all this talk about 'Endangered Feces'!"

boneguy said...

If you startle them, they'll poop out Post It notes.

NJ-to-TX said...

"Which of those 6 contests would you like to judge with your arrow?"

pg13 said...

"Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen."
"Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon."

smuck said...

"What do connect-the-dot deer taste like? Kind of gamey."

Kate Nelson said...

"…figures."

Anonymous said...

"Obama promised rain, Dear"

NJ-to-TX said...

"Explain again how rays sent along vectors can intersect their interiors."

Puffin said...

"Where's the beef?"

boneguy said...

This sounds crazy, but in about 100,000 years we will be able to get married.

Dr Sumguy said...

"Ethiopian cuisine ... Again!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"No does ... Yawn."

NJ-to-TX said...

"Urgh, we need find some still have angle of dangle attached."

cta said...

"It is a magical field, making everything appear with simple lines. See? Look what it has done to our penises."

Satireguy said...

"This is where unjudged anti-cap contests go to die."

Dex said...

"The neighborhood's a little sketchy."

Puffin said...

"OK, let's circle 'em."

NJ-to-TX said...

"Which of those 6 contests would you like to judge with your arrow?"--NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: What is amazing, and frankly a bit sad, is that he counted the number of contests that went unjudged. Don't fixate on this, you'll only get your heart broken.)

- Uhh, I counted the number of ANIMALS in the cartoon. Sadder to assume anything else.

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al in la

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Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.