Sunday, August 18, 2013

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #392























WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
"I told you, no more dog pose!"--pg13 (JUDGE"S COMMENTS: In a laudable yet desperate display of Anti-Capping, pg13 threw multiple caps against the wall including a trio that hit almost immediately after the contest was posted. Most sucked but this one stuck. Yoga instructors put people in positions better suited to a prison bitch. That's a barrier for many would-be students. This cap also reminds us what happens when muscular simpletons get fed up with being fucked over. Noted.)
SECOND PLACE
"Me not do nuance well!"--Anonymouse (JUDGE'S COMMENTS: Calls attention to George W.'s woeful rein in the White House. A recently launched website – BushRewrite.org – attempts to set the record straight through the use of facts. To paraphrase Mark Twain: “A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes—or starting its own website.” )
THIRD PLACE
"Obama promise change!"

"Your mantra clip on!"
"Hours here... Wraawr!!!"--Some Green Guy (JUDGE'S COMMENTS: A fitting tribute to Anti-Cappers who approach this contest with the grace of a hungry bear pawing through a picnic basket. [You know who you are!] When your only tool is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.)

HONORABLE MENTIONS
"Whaddya mean Yogi Berra wasn't a yogi?!"--Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENTS: As a kid I thought the Yankee great WAS indeed named Yogi Bear. Kathy knows what Yogi meant when he said: “You can observe a lot by watching”)
"Well, me call it a tuba!"--Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENTS: This suggests I'm the one being pounded into the wall by a thug with limited language skills. It also reminds us how someone like that handles conflict. Kathy is very perceptive.)
"Ferrigno, you crazy bastard! How are you?"
--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENTS: A rather pedestrian attempt at a classic. Years before starring on TV as The Hulk, Lou Ferrigno became obsessed with body building as a means of developing self confidence due a speech impediment. His work ethic and determination should be an inspiration to all of us. This nasty little cap suggests he is emotionally unbalanced. How insensitive can you be? )
...and give my regards to Woo Fawigno.--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENTS: Much better. I always got a kick out of the way Mr. Muscles sounds like Elmer Fudd eating and a peanut butter sandwich. He also has a face like a movie star: Lassie. [And that's how insensitive I can be. Try harder next time, Jim. Okay?] Nice one boneguy!)
Looks like another Banner day!--Bruce DeMoose (JUDGE'S COMMENTS: I don't know who this Bruce person is but he took the name of Hulk's character and made it into a obvious pun. Nice try. This is probably the best cap ever entered here by someone named DeMoose—in fact no probably about it.)
"That's MR. Eddie's father to you"--Mrs. Livingston (JUDGE'S COMMENTS: Bill Bixby's two signature roles where “Eddie's Father” and the guy who transformed into The Hulk [that's when “Woo Fawigno” took over.] When I'm hangin' with my granddaughter, I sometimes hear in my head the song from The Courtship of Eddie's Father: “People let me tell you about my best friend. He's a one boy cuddily toy, my up, my down, my pride and joy.” Except, of course, my special buddy is a 2 ½ year old little girl.)
"You betray us, Radosh!"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENTS: Remarkably, it was exactly four years ago [give or take a week or two] that a nebbish kid from Brooklyn was hired away from judging the Anti-Cap Contest [for which he was paid nothing], to become a writer for The Daily Show [a gig for which he gets paid bookoo bucks]. Yes, a good-bye would have been nice, but to say he betrayed us is like saying a sneeze is betrayed by a Kleenex. Remember, The Daily Show from 1996 to 1998 was hosted by Craig Kilborn before Jon Stewart took over. I like to think that change in management parallels this contest. Bottomline: Let it go.)

"Homeward Bound" performed by Bob Dylan in concert: 6-6-91 Rome, Italy; 6-14-91 Innsbruck, Austria; 7-6-91 Nashua, New Hampshire. 

Your move, Al.

http://www.bobdylan.com/us/songs/homeward-bound--Obligatory Dylan (notorized rebuttal edition) (JUDGE'S COMMENTS: Noted.)
Next time Hulk at least gets Honorable Mention!--boneguy (JUDGE"S COMMENTS: Noted.)
There you go, Jakob! NOW you're a wallflower!--Angus Podgorny (JUDGE"S COMMENTS: As if! Bob Dylan's very talented son Jakob, now 43[!], has been a Wallflower for over 20 years! A few lines from his song “One Headlight” inspired me to leave NYC and the Staten Is. apartment I had occupied for 14 years:

Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn

[And, of course, the chorus:]

Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle...

There were other factors [i.e. an offer to become editor of an L.A.-based magazine], but as much as anything else, that song spurred my transformation from al in S.I. to al in la. Thank you Jakob.)

49 comments:

pg13 said...

"Is this transcendent enough for you?"

pg13 said...

"Assume the position!"

pg13 said...

"I told you, no more dog pose!"

Tim H said...

"Downward Facing...YOU!"

Kathy H said...

"Whaddya mean Yogi Berra wasn't a yogi?!"

Anonymouse said...

"...and then I met A-Rod. What's it to ya?!"

Gulliver said...

"Did you see what they're doing to the Yahoo! logo? Did you see??"

Satireguy said...

"Hulk no like hot yoga!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"And so I'll ask again ... Where's the 'Men's Room'?"

Kathy H said...

"Well, me call it a tuba!"

Anonymouse said...

"Me not do nuance well!"

boneguy said...

Next time Hulk at least gets Honorable Mention!

pg13 said...

"I not Plastic Man!"

REX said...

"Because 'Stop-and-Frisk' saves lives. Now empty your pockets, asshole."

Tim H said...

"...and another thing. There's never enough Citi Bikes® available, when and where I want them!"

Anonymouse said...

"...and I can never get clothes that fit, or get a decent haircut!!"

pg13 said...

"And........................................................ exhale."

Dr Sumguy said...

"LOST & FOUND' ... Charlie Sheen's temper!"

Anonymous said...

"Ferrigno, you crazy bastard! How are you?"

Jim Cavanaugh

boneguy said...

This way my girlfriend doesn't have to read the obits to find an apartment.

Shelly said...

"Next time Hulk feels poke in the ass, he turn somebody into personal fist-warmer."

Mrs. Livingston said...

"That's MR. Eddie's father to you"

Angus Podgorny said...

There you go, Jakob! NOW you're a wallflower!

Angus Podgorny said...

You no give Hulk respectful greeting! You say "yo"! Now Hulk make you say "ga"!

boneguy said...

...and give my regards to Woo Fawigno.

Dr Sumguy said...

"And Now ... Do you believe in 'World Peace'!!!"

Kathy H said...

"You are the worst spackling compound ever!"

cta said...

"Hulk no like your off-the-wall remark!"

cta said...

"When Hulk done using you to sculpt the wall, it be a relief!"

pg13 said...

"It not easy being green!"

Anonymous said...

"You betray us, Radosh!"

Tim H said...

"Fine print say 'early withdrawal may incur penalty.' Well, this penalty!"

Some Green Guy said...

"Why Tim H make downward dog joke when we in warrior two pose? Make hulk mad!"

Some Green Guy said...

"Obama promise change!"
"Your mantra clip on!"
"Hours here... Wraawr!!!"

boneguy said...

For the last time, me no like nor do I represent frozen vegetables.

Levon Delight said...

A Rod no take HGH!

Tim H said...

"You lucky me left-handed!"

Anonymouse said...

"Tag. You're it!"

boneguy said...

It's duck,duck,goose,Hulk!

boneguy said...

You know those yoga pants I ordered? Could you make them extra large, no make that extra small, I mean extra-large, no wait extra small, oh shit I mean large…

Grudge Holding Hulk said...

"I just wanted to be in the X-Men, but 'noooooo'. So, Professor X, you can now enjoy being a crippled little douche."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Aum, Vam, Ram!"

Anonymous said...

"No more wisecracks."

NJ-to-TX said...

"What mean, backward? Agoy! HulkJew no like!"

Obligatory Dylan (notorized rebuttal edition) said...

"Homeward Bound" performed by Bob Dylan in concert: 6-6-91 Rome, Italy; 6-14-91 Innsbruck, Austria; 7-6-91 Nashua, New Hampshire.

Your move, Al.

http://www.bobdylan.com/us/songs/homeward-bound



Bruce DeMoose said...

Looks like another Banner day!

Anonymouse said...

"I'm doing this for al. No punch intended."

Yikes said...

"I don't need Daniel's abdication to validate my meddling."

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al in la

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Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.