Friday, June 28, 2013

Bonus Caption Contest: What are they saying to each other??

new yorker   


















Note: This cover from the New Yorker was posted here, but due to a technical glitch, had to be deleted and re-posted. [I don't want to discuss it.]  In the brief time it was up, it drew several comments. So, since the NYer is on hiatus, consider this fodder for an Anti-Caption contest. What are Burt and Ernie saying to each other? Or, if you prefer,enter a narrative cap that would be suitable for a newspaper. Feel free to be gross, wield or stupid -- but try and be clever.  




WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
Remember when we first dated and I would fuck the stuffing out of you?--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Muppets don't really have stuffing, but they do have needs. This image reminds us of that.)

SECOND PLACE
"Will you do sodomy with me now?" -- NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: You can just hear the response: “No. But I will do sodomy TO you, little buddy.”)

THIRD PLACE
"No thanks, Bert. I'm stuffed."--pg13 (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Everyone seems to assume Bert pitches and Ernie catches--why?)
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Enough with this shit. Change the channel to "Behind the Candelabra".--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A reference to an HBO movie that many gays hated because Liberace was portrayed as he was: narcissistic, manipulative and very creepy. Not exactly a revered figure in the community.)
"Lay, Ernie, lay, lay across Bert's 'big brass bed'..."--pg13 (JUDGE'S COMMENT: “Why wait any longer for the muppet you love...?”)

35 comments:

NAMBY said...

"Funny how a couple of muppets have more balls than Scalia."

boneguy said...

Enough with this shit. Change the channel to "Behind the Candelabra".

Greenie Stik-M-Caps said...

"I always wanted to marry a Kennedy."

pg13 said...

"No thanks, Bert. I'm stuffed."

pg13 said...

"Now that our wedding date is set, we can register for that hdtv."

pg13 said...

"They've known all along, Ernie. It was your bronzer that gave it away."

Anonymous said...

"Too bad Justice Black isn't around to see this."

pg13 said...

"Bert, I'm worried that the public won't accept us for who we really are: Hispanics."

R. Waters said...

"Got thirteen channels of shit on the T.V. to choose from."

NJ-to-TX said...

"Now we have to make it legal to bring big bird into this."

NJ-to-TX said...

"Will you do sodomy with me now?"

Shelly said...

"Our donation buys the Supreme Court's vote on the issue of our choice? This is the best PBS pledge drive ever!"

"The allegations can't be true. Why would Kevin Clash want to put his hand anywhere but up Elmo?"

"Forty years on the show and countless Emmys, and we can't even afford a new TV or wardrobe. I told you we should have joined SAG-AFTRA."

boneguy said...

Remember when we first dated and I would fuck the stuffing out of you?

Anonymous said...

"We gotta call Carl and Lenny. It's our turn to host Tapas night."

boneguy said...

I swear to God, Bert. I got super drunk in college and ended up giving Scalia a blow job.

Anonymous said...

Bill O'Reilly's Voice Coming From the TV: Tonight on the Factor we'll look at what happens when Sesame Street intersects with Hershey Highway, and how YOU can protect your kids

Kathy H said...

"Scalia must be turning over in his grave!"

Anonymouse said...

The Rainbow Connection

pg13 said...

"Lay, Ernie, lay, lay across Bert's 'big brass bed'..."

Anonymous said...

"As long as we get what we want a false axiom here or there will only have the potential to hurt young adopted boys... I can live with that."

"As I."

Anonymous said...

"Stick it up your ass if you don't like it."

Anonymous said...

"I wonder how long it will be before they try to make it harder for us to vote."

Jim Cavanaugh

REX said...

"Sure that's nice. But face it, anyone who sees the separate beds knows we've been together forever."

Burt your Bubble said...

"Oh, shit. Look, Ernie, I've been hiding behind the fact that we couldn't get married for a long time. You're cool and all. You pay the rent, buy groceries, and your friends are cool, but, fuck no, I would never marry YOU."

Anonymous said...

"D'ya hear about the woman who meets a guy in a bar who's wearing a bag over his head? Really....he's wearing a bag over his fucking head! Can you believe that!? A guy goes to meet a sexy woman in a bar and he's wearing a BAG OVER HIS FUCKING HEAD, ERNIE!!!"

Satireguy said...

Bert and Ernie find Scalia's dissent a bit "wield"

chuckles said...

see the cover: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2013/06/new-yorker-cover-bert-ernie-gay-marriage.html

Ernie's Mustache said...

"The Word of the Day is "Dirty Sanchez".

Angus Podgorny said...

Tell me, Bert, if those four dissenting justices really hate sodomy, then why do they have their heads so far up their asses?

Angus Podgorny said...

It's time to put on a rubber, ducky, and express your love in Ernest.

Angus Podgorny said...

They've all aged so much, I can't even tell which one is Diana Ross.

Kevin Hebbeler said...

"Try and tickle me, DOMA. They're both such dicks. Defense of Marriage Act, and Elmo." - both, in unison, because I forget their dichotomous personalities

Kevin Hebbeler said...

"Try and tickle me, DOMA. They're both such dicks. Defense of Marriage Act, and Elmo." - both, in unison, because I forget their dichotomous personalities

Kathy H said...

"On the other hand, Bert, I always kinda liked stuffed shirts."

Amee said...

This is cool!

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