Wednesday, June 12, 2013

BONUS ANTI-CAP CONTEST


1

NOTE: While the staff at the NYer take a well deserved break from enlightening and entertaining their target demographic of upscale white folks, you are invited to cough up your best Anti-Cap for this image.  Extra credit for anything Dylan-related. 



WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
"I wondered if you wanted to make any changes to your will, since any day now, any day now, you shall be deceased."--Shelly [JUDGE'S COMMENT: First, a hat tip to all those who reached deep to find Dylan references for this Bonus Caption Contest. Some where predictable, some obscure. All where appreciated. This twists the meaning of the classic Dylan song “I Shall Be Released,” which was also the last song from the classic concert film “The Last Waltz.” Also sometimes sung by mean-spirited fans to taunt an under-performing pro-athlete. ]

SECOND PLACE
"No, I specifically said I wanted to meet you in the 'painted' desert not 'miniature' dessert."--cta [JUDGE'S COMMENT: From the epic and little-known song “Brownsville Girl.” I believe not even Dylan knows all the word to this one. Get s the nod for obscurity of reference. ]
THIRD PLACE
xcuse me, sir, but I'm sorry to inform you that the pump don't work because the vandals took the handles."--Kathy H [JUDGE'S COMMENT: They also took the “E” from “Excuse me.” Song includes the classic Dylan quip: “If you don't wanna be a bum, you better chew gum.” Words to live by.]
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"I just can't get 'Every Grain of Sand' out of my head."--pg13 [JUDGE'S COMMENT: Give the poignant lyrics of this incredible song, I too have troble getting it out of my head. SAMPLE:
I have gone from rags to riches in the sorrow of the night/
In the violence of a summer’s dream, in the chill of a wintery light/
In the bitter dance of loneliness fading into space/
In the broken mirror of innocence on each forgotten face]

"Well, I hope you now have a better appreciation of all the tired horses in the sun!"--Tim H [JUDGE'S COMMENT: How am I supposed to get any riding done? Only Dylan song in which Dylan doesn't sign. A very obscure reference, and a very weird song, indeed.]
"Name's Abram Zimmerman and I'm Dylan-related."--Anonymouse [JUDGE'S COMMENT: Very impressive. It was Abe and Betty who beget Bobby. The rest is history.]
"Isn't it about time you got over the whole acoustic vs. electric thing?"--pg13 [JUDGE'S COMMENT: It the folky fans who had trouble getting over it.]
You ain't a goin' no where - This ain't Gunga Din.--NJ-to-TX [JUDGE'S COMMENT: The last time I saw Dylan this is the song he opened with. I had it on the third note—but that's just me.]
"I just said, 'Good luck.'"--Tim H [JUDGE'S COMMENT: What young Dylan said to Columbus when he saw him headed to the U.S.]

48 comments:

REX said...

"Mr Thomas? Mr. Dylan Thomas? I'm Irv Finkelstein from Simon & Schuster. Just wanted to see how you're coming with that new book."

Anonymous said...

"I told mom, 'Don't worry about Frankie—he's probably lying in the sand somewhwere soaking up the sun.'"

NJ-to-TX said...

Still scrubbing the floor, I see. How's that head full of ideas
That were drivin' you insane?

My name is Henderson. I'm Maggie's attorney. We need to talk.

Tim H said...

"I just said, 'Good luck.'"

Kathy H said...

"Excuse me, sir, but I'm sorry to inform you that the pump don't work because the vandals took the handles."

cta said...

"No, I specifically said I wanted to meet you in the 'painted' desert not 'miniature' dessert."

Scrood the pooch again said...

Crud, spelling. I meant "desert".

Jess said...

"Okay. You've walked and you've crawled on six crooked highways. So?"

boneguy said...

Huntington's chorea AND pre-morbid dehydration? Let me get back to Mr. Dylan and give him the green light to rob you blind.

Anonymouse said...

"Sorry, buddy, but somebody on America's Got Talent beat you to Make You Feel My Love."

Anonymous said...

"I'm gonna walk across the desert, 'til I'm in my right mind."

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

"Welcome to Hell, Mr. Klebold"

Shelly said...

"I wondered if you wanted to make any changes to your will, since any day now, any day now, you shall be deceased."

boneguy said...

My advice? Next time trying sneaking in through Canada.

Anonymous said...

"Where the fuck did you get a stogie?"

Anonymous said...

"Get off my property."

Anonymous said...

"I'll get you the water you deserve."

Anonymous said...

"I said Marine pushups."

Anonymous said...

"All my clients walk."

Dr Sumguy said...

"I'm from the Monty Dylan Corporation and I've come to reclaim your liver!"

Brandon said...

"Dylan, I was talking to Bren' and Kelly, and Donna, and they all said you're a lousy hump. Not half as good as me or David. See you at the Peach Pit as you're being shit out of a pigeon. Mwaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!"

Anonymouse said...

"Well, Mr. Rude, I'd thank you not to stick your tongue out at me!"

NJ-to-TX said...

"Dude! Use your arms and legs it won’t ruin you."

Dr Sumguy said...

"I see your getting your just deserts!"

Tim H said...

"Oh, really? Well, how do you think I feel with all these cacti giving me the finger?!"

Anonymous said...

"When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose--not even your shoes."

boneguy said...

I hear that you're building your little house deep in the desert
You're living for nothing now, I hope you're keeping some kind of record. ...oh shit wrong pretentious troubadour .

Kathy H said...

"What do you charge for a spit-shine?"

Anonymouse said...

"Mr. Shabtai Zisl ben Avraham, my name is David Geffen. I'm with Asylum Records. And I have just one question for you: What will it take for you and your vision to jump ship from Columbia and join me on my journey?"

Jess said...

"The good news: 'It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall' The bad news: That was written 50 years ago -- as a metaphor."

Tim H said...

"Well, I hope you now have a better appreciation of all the tired horses in the sun!"

Satireguy said...

"I'm from the government and I'm here to help. Do you have a gun?"

Satireguy said...

"Mr. Zimmerman, I presume?"

NJ-to-TX said...

"Mom wants to know when you're going to get baptized and pick up her dry cleaning."

Anonymouse said...

"Name's Abram Zimmerman and I'm Dylan-related."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Would you be interested in a 'Culligan Reverse Osmosis System'?"

Kathy H said...

"Your children have retained me to inform you that they wish you a Happy Father's Day."

Don Don said...

"Once you have played "The Strip" you never leave."

NJ-to-TX said...

You ain't a goin' no where - This ain't Gunga Din.

pg13 said...

"I just can't get 'Every Grain of Sand' out of my head."

Satireguy said...

"Hey, Albert. I understand you've been sniffing drain pipes again."

pg13 said...

"Isn't it about time you got over the whole acoustic vs. electric thing?"

Rich Lather said...

"Suck it, Desert Hobo!"

O.K. Itsme said...

You are just a downward facing dog away from becoming a bike rack for my midlife crisis Harley. So duck it Desert Hobo!

Satireguy said...

"Hi, I'm Mr. Jones and I can see there's something happening here but I'm not exactly sure what it is."

pg13 said...

"I should let you know it's buy one, get one free at the Men's Wearhouse."

Anonymous said...

"You don't have to be one to wear one."

Verona said...

This is cool!

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BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.