Sunday, June 2, 2013

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #384








WINNERS

FIRST PLACE

"The ogres here are extreme."

[Nod to...oh...me!--Tim H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Tim [pictured below with his huge clock], has  entered a mildly entertaining cap that evokes our heritage and is perhaps a commentary on the predatory nature of big business. A quick Google search of  "Tim H" and "The hours here are obscene," reveals that he has used it before but is certainly not the original author of this brilliant cap which was indeed written for the cartoon below. And for this Tim apparently wants to pat himself on the back.)

SECOND PLACE
"Because....people, when we all get naked it goes away."--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: And this pays tribute to a recent caption contest cartoon that had naked office workers gathered at a table. Recognized for the same reason the above cap got first place.)
THIRD PLACE
"Your artwork is..um..well, it's really nice. It's just that I'd like to move to an office that has windows."--pg13 (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Sure we get the premise, but that's not nice artwork.)

HONORABLE MENTIONS
World War II Japanese stereotypes in the window may be closer than they appear.--Satireguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Made me think that in the history of the world the U.S. is the only nation to ever use a nuclear weapon, and Japan is the only nation to...well you know. Kind of a unique relationship. )
"So it's Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce Cutler Gleason Chaough and Godzilla. 

Oh, sorry... Godzilla Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce Cutler Gleason and Chaough."--NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: “The Mad Man" reference is appreciated, but I don't think these people will be dictating the post-takeover terms. Fun fact: There actually is an ad agency in LA named david and goliath [all lower case just to be extra edgy]. I once pitched for their softball team. Nice guys.)
"Looks like Evrolet Girl is on the rag again."--J.G.G. (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Another classic.  Guess that explains why she ransacked that chocolate factory and was seen languishing on the shores of Lake Michigan while the other giant girls where swimming.)
What a relief! We can all stop wondering what happened to JohnnyB.--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I hear tale he's doing 3-to-5   for a B & E he had nothing to do with. Be strong Johnny.)
"I distinctly remember instructing my secretary to inform me whenever my mother-in-law dropped by."--Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Granted mother-in-law jokes are perennial comic fodder, but I have two who have been very wonderful to me. Maybe Kathy's linking obsession has stirred the ire of her mom-in-law.  And if the guy in the cartoon knew she was going to pop over, would that have softened the contempt he feels for her, much less stop her?)
"Al dente in la."--pg13 (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Household Tip: You can tell your spaghetti is done the same way you can tell an item of clothing needs to be washed: Throw it against the wall and see if it sticks. You can say the same about Anti-Caps—metaphorically, I mean.)

60 comments:

boneguy said...

I feel a kinship to that creature, Ethel. We will have both eaten you today.

boneguy said...

...and I continue to remain optimistic that we will emerge equally united as a fully formed stool.

Dr Sumguy said...

"Is it the 'Macy's Day Parade' already?")

NJ-to-TX said...

"Let's skip to new business - We're fucked."

NJ-to-TX said...

"So it's Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce Cutler Gleason Chaough and Godzilla.

Oh, sorry... Godzilla Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce Cutler Gleason and Chaough."

Anonymous said...

"Relax, it's my daughter's senior thesis at Cooper Union."

LR said...

"The theme of today's team-building session is 'Be a Chum'."

boneguy said...

Anyone else here having second thoughts about being the first "big five" accounting firm to colonize Mars?

boneguy said...

What a relief! We can all stop wondering what happened to JohnnyB.

Tim H said...

"Is it Take Your Ogre to Work Day already?"

LeWay nieman said...

Worst.Triptych.Ever!

Dr Sumguy said...

"I sense a hostile takeover ... Time to invoke the 'Golden Showers' clause!"

NJ-to-TX said...

"What's next? People being marched to their flaming deaths in the street by the devil's henchmen?"

J.G.G. said...

"Looks like Evrolet Girl is on the rag again."

Kathy H said...

"He just found out that Maurice Sendak is dead."

Anonymouse said...

"Will you people please stop doing the Harlem Shake!?"

Tim H said...

"The ogres here are extreme."

[Nod to...oh...me!

Anonymous said...

"Because....people, when we all get naked it goes away."

Satireguy said...

"It looks like the Japanese economy is recovering."

Satireguy said...

World War II Japanese stereotypes in the window may be closer than they appear.

Anonymous said...

"He's a weird monkey, very funky."

Jim Cavanaugh

Dex said...

"No donuts?"

boneguy said...

Did anyone here forget to pay the X-men Window Washing Company?

Dr Sumguy said...

"Did you know that only 10% of Americans floss on a daily basis!"

Kathy H said...

"Remind me again why we're having him back for a follow-up interview."

boneguy said...

Let me first start by pointing out 'The Sea Monkey' brand was long overdue for a makeover.

Steve said...

"Will one of you assholes close the blinds?"

Bart said...

"Who sharted?"

Satireguy said...

"Any new business?"

Anonymouse said...

"...and advise the staff not to exit via Park Avenue for the time being."

Dr Sumguy said...

"The Board ... Ah ... Orgeroom will now come to order!"

Anonymous said...

"Help me out, people. I can't think of anything funny to say, and I don't want to end up in first place again."

Dr Sumguy said...

"All those in favor of moving 'Bargin Basement Sales' to a higher floor, raise your hand!"

Anonymouse said...

"So, it's settled. We shall call it Ogre Winfrey."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Ethyl ... Did you forget to feed our 'Takamoto Shih Tzu'

Grandpa said...

"How much is that doggie in the window?"

Richard Shred said...

"Worst. Glory Holes. Ever"

pg13 said...

"Linda, I think your crabs are getting worse."

pg13 said...

"The good news is that it's just an ordinary lizard. Unfortunately we are only two inches tall."

pg13 said...

"Your artwork is..um..well, it's really nice. It's just that I'd like to move to an office that has windows."

pg13 said...

"Al dente in la."

pg13 said...

"King Kong said it was a terrible blow job."

Dex said...

"I think my evacuation will last for more than four hours."

Kevin Hebbeler said...

Buying an actual monster behind those windows is cheaper than three panels with that painted on them.

Dr Sumguy said...

"FYI ... Godzilla ToyWiz.com ... Has moved in next door!"

boneguy said...

Anyone else here feel like having sex?

Kathy H said...

"I distinctly remember instructing my secretary to inform me whenever my mother-in-law dropped by."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Brace yourselve's ... We are about to be hit by a 'Fisker Karma' electric vehicle!"

NJ-to-TX said...

"HR sent me a report from the surveys you filled out recently. Our last speaker wasn't motivational enough for some of you."

Don Don said...

"What did you think Dick Cheney would look like after 200 years?"

boneguy said...

All in favor of running like hell, say 'aye'. All opposed, prepare your organs for involuntary donation.

Dr Sumguy said...

"According to this document, we have just been acquired by ... 'Shit Eating Grin Inc.'!"

Tim H said...

"A quorum of the board being present, I move that we approve the minutes of the last meeting of Monsters, Inc."

mORGAN said...

...moving along to the hostile takeover bid by Tiki Bar Inc.

Dr Sumguy said...

"There's too much pissing and shitting going on ... I'm sensing an imminent visit by HERA, the goddess of raging fury and madness!"

boneguy said...

Just spitballin' here but we are thinking of this being the face of the NSA's domestic surveillance program.

Anonymous said...

Another slow day at The Cleveland Institute For Method Acting & Extreme Voyeurism.

NJ-to-TX said...

"Sure is big."
"It is big."
"What's it... doing?"
"Saving us money."
"Hello! It's just hangin' out."
"It's malpractice insurance. It's supposed to be there when you need it."

smuck said...

"Next on the agenda... Who the fuck had a pay phone installed in the board room?"

J. P. Morgan said...

"What ever happened to the London Whale?"

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