Sunday, November 25, 2012

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #359

73 comments:

mel said...

"I know I've said this before, P.C., but seriously...what the fuck?"

boneguy said...

When I said lose the jawbreakers, I meant just the black ones.

boneguy said...

Dude, the official mourning period for Neil Armstrong ended 6 weeks ago.

Dr Sumguy said...

"Let me guess ... You stopped at 'Jack in the Box'!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"I'd like to 'Pull your Chain'!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Bentley ... What's your opinion on global issues?"

JohnnyB said...

I see Edison has an idea.

JohnnyB said...

Sorry, retirement age is 60, Watt. But I'm sure you have a bright future elsewhere.

JohnnyB said...

You're performance is inefficient. We're replacing you with fluorescent.

Anonymous said...

"Shut the fuck up, Bieker, or I'll punch your light out."

LR said...

"Don't give me that blank stare, Pac-Man, or you'll have Pinky across the table to deal with."

boneguy said...

I'm very glad you were able to find the light bulb recovered from Richard Gere's ass on EBay, but show and tell isn't till next week.

Satireguy said...

"I'd like everyone to join me in welcoming our new VP of Public Relations, Jim Gumballmachine."

Dr Sumguy said...

"And I'd like you 'Spherehead' the next project!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"And I'd like you to 'Spherehead' the next project!"

REX said...

"Well that certainly is a sad story, but my associates and I feel you don't have much of a case. This P.C. Vey guy may be a lazy, no-talent hack, but he is not negligent -- not in the legal sense anyway."

Anonymous said...

"Not only is Simmons as dumb as a lamppost..."

Dr Sumguy said...

"The board ... Would like to see your 'Teenie Weenie Book Lite'!"

Jess said...

"You've got more ball than brains Jenkins,

Anonymous said...

"Watson, cum quick!.....that's Emma Watson...........it's a joke....."

Tim said...

Ballhead, you owe Ms. Mophead an apology.

Tim said...

Really, Atebal, that's your answer? "As I see it, yes"

Anonymous said...

"Apparently when corporate said to have a shine present they meant a nigger."

Anonymous said...

"Go ahead and excuse yourself, Fred . . . no one wants to be around when that pimple blows."


---blw

Anonymous said...

“Well, I gotta’ admit, a lot of us have balls, but none of ‘em are crystal . . . So what’s the future hold for us, JB?”


--left coast wayne

Anonymous said...

"You don't scare me none, Jason. I've seen all them Friday the 13th movies."

Anonymous said...

"Christ, what a glass bowl."

Jim Cavanaugh

boneguy said...

This is Mr. Rick Johnson who is here today to ask us to fund his newest innovation, the personal biosphere.

Damon said...

"You look testy."

Steve_O said...

"Everyone knows your ball is a clip-on, Simmons."

Tim Bulb said...

"OK, everybody, now's the time during the meeting when we listen to and then completely disregard whatever crap Mr. Affirmative Action Hire has to share."

Shelly said...

"Our new product line is barber poles, and we want you to be right on top of that."

Meth Boore said...

"Dammit, Berutti! For the last time: absolutely no Super-Elastic-Bubble-Plastic in the Board Room!"

Dex said...

"Nice tie."

boneguy said...

Although I shouldn't have to say this, let's keep the "change the light bulb jokes" to an absolute minimum.

Tim H said...

"Oh, I see. When you said that you had experience in light housework you actually meant lighthouse work."

Kathy H said...

"Everybody, please welcome Jack Snowglobe to the team. Seems he's been having some trouble with no-fly lists, recently."

Anonymous Coward said...

"You're fired. I bet you didn't see that coming!"

Anonymouse said...

"So, tell me. How did you lose your arms?"

Anonymous said...

"Ok, lamp post head, we see what you mean. So let's get some feedback from dustpan hair."

NJ-to-TX said...

"We're sure he's dead? I didn't call the coroner. Did any of you call the coroner?"

Anonymous said...

"Jesus Christ, Hanson, 'Bring Your Pet to Work' is next week. Now get that damned goldfish out of here!"


---left coast wayne

boneguy said...

Someone call security and tell them to get the LED out.

boneguy said...

Before we get started I'd like to recognize Smither's unprecedented win as the sixteenth floor's bubblegum blowing champ for the third year in the row.

Dr Sumguy said...

"You're not too bright are you Ned ... I like that in a man!"

Kathy H said...

"...and another thing: What the hell is a lumen?"

Hal O. Gen said...

"What's the hub-bub, Bulb?"

Dr Sumguy said...

"It doesn't look good WATTkins ... The Head Hunter said ... Your not dimmable, you've got globus hystericus, and your plug-in is Viagra dependant!"

Dr Sumguy said...

QUESTION: How many board members does it take to screw a light bulb? ... ANSWER: None of your fucking business!

Tim H said...

"How dare you come in here spouting your nonsense about 'Tim H' being a guest DJ on Sirius XM Satelilte Radio's channel E Street Radio! Why would one want to dial in on Saturday, December 8, at 10 am (ET), anyway? Just to hear the mindless rantings of a lunatic? I mean, just because they're offering free trials for 7 days and 30 days doesn't mean I have any interest, whatsoever, in this Bruce Springsteen garbage! Now, get the hell out of here!!"

Tim H said...

"That's right! And take your bad links with you!"

Anonymous said...

"The plugs here are shameless, but do you still want the job."

Anonymous said...

"The plugs here are shameless, but do you still want the job?"

F' Tard said...

"So, I literally have to put a penny through that slot for your thoughts? Can you make change?"

Satireguy said...

"I was looking for a light bulb above your head not as your head."

Anonymous said...

"Uh oh. He's got that blank look again."

Sleeve Grogan said...

everybody is staring at me but Little miss toothpick neck over there is really freaky looking!

Anonymous said...

"Shut up, Bob, everyone knows your bulb is a clap on."

Anonymous said...

"Stop your balling, Mitt."

Anonymous said...

"Just remember, Phillips, burnout here at Adler, Pollock & Sheehan results in swift replacement."

Anonymous said...

"I hear that if we hit a switch, you do some little global warming trick."

Anonymous said...

"You're an incandescent, Wattson, a relic, a thing of the past. To be honest, you're costing us money."

"Yeah, Jonesey, but he gives off a glow the others can't touch and he's free of mercury too. Look at 'im. He's beautiful."

Anonymous said...

"Well, shall we just adjourn to the bowling alley 'til Al finally gets off his ass and judges this thing?"


---blw

Don Jr. said...

"If ou have an idea just raze your hand."

Damon said...

"I hate your face."

Anonymous said...

“Well, JT, if you’ve got the balls---I mean ‘ball’---go ahead and make a prediction if there’s ever going to be a winner in this mindless and interminable exercise of anti-cap madness.”


---the Patients of Job

Don Jr. said...

"One of these days I am going to start carrying gold fish in my pocket."

Anonymous said...

"You say Richard Gere did this to you?"...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Unfaithful)

NJ-to-TX said...

"Bulbman! You got the annual report? Or is it the perennial report, ha ha ha!"

NJ-to-TX said...

"Check his hands - he may be doing that autoerotic asphyxiation thing again."

NJ-to-TX said...

"I loved Meet the Residents, Third Reich 'n Roll, and most of Eskimo, but you guys really sold out after that."

Tim H said...

"I sorry. Did you say something?"

Anonymous said...

"You know we're all going to be in Older Posts soon and Al can pretend we don't exist."

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Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.