Monday, November 19, 2012

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #358


59 comments:

JohnnyB said...

As for how these sessions are going, Doc, sofa so good.

JohnnyB said...

You're in my chair.

JohnnyB said...

Thanks, Doc, you cured the depression in my sofa cushion.

LR said...

"The stains came out. I'm still suing you."

Steve_O said...

"Humor police. This cartoon is one couch short of being completely trite."

LR said...

"I'm haunted by the chaises of your victims."

"I brought a couple movers. Do you mind a menage a quatre?"

Anonymous said...

"My hour here will be obscene."

Anonymous said...

"Flexsteely, you crazy bastard! How are you?"

Jim Cavanaugh

boneguy said...

Maybe you can afford first class, but I'm still flying couch.

REX said...

"I brought a couple of Teamsters. It doesn't matter if you mind."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Poppie ... Your new 'Ipeed'!"

Dex said...

"They're movers. I'm the shaker."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Where should I put you!"

Anonymous said...

"I'm a sexual surrogate, not a prostitute, but I only screw young men not Jung men."

cta said...

"Well, that new couch just solved one of my deep-seated fears."

boneguy said...

I just sold it to my friend in Honolulu. I mean, what better place to couch-surf?

Satireguy said...

"I hope you don't mind; I brought my own couch."

boneguy said...

What do you expect a girl to do when she gets tired of walking?

Dr Sumguy said...

"Tater ... It's for you!"

NJ-to-TX said...

"You'll never fuck any of your 16-year-old clients on that couch again. Oh, and by the way, your bail has been revoked."

Anonymous said...

"I brought my own casting couch."

Damon said...

"Brought my son with me, just like you asked. I sewed him into the seat cushions."

Greenie Stik-M-Caps said...

"Last time I got rug burns."

Dr Sumguy said...

"It's a "Teamster Powered Sedan Couch' ... 4 mpg city. 5mpg country. You save $5.40!"

JohnnyB said...

Ha, so much for your "no black people in the New Yorker cartoons" trope.

Anonymous said...

"I'd like to audition for the job opening."

Richard H said...

"More important, however, is what I learned about the importance of both comfort and design."

Anonymous said...

"When you're finished here, Spencer, I'll need you on the couch to nowhere project."

boneguy said...

I don't know anyway to couch this but I'm leaving you and taking the sofa with me.

boneguy said...

Sure it tops out at 3 mph, but to make it more fun I went with the dual stick option.

Dr Sumguy said...

"Harold I'm leaving you! ... Your cartoon is boring ... I'm taking the couch from #330 ... I'll be at #357!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Hop on Harold ... It's your 'Singapore Airlines' Airporter ... 'Always the best! Even to those in economy'!"

Anonymouse said...

"They said it was Sofa King ® good."

cubshlub said...

Think of it as another type of transference

Dr Sumguy said...

"According to the salesman, Robinson Crusoe, it's a 'Black Friday', best buy!"

Anonymous said...

"I brought my own couch so none of your fucking germs will get all over me."

Anonymous said...

"It's OK . . . I'll take it with me when we're done."


---blw

Anonymous said...

“Couch potato . . . sofa tuber . . . divan yam . . . whatever. We all know you’re a lazy piece of shit and I’m turning these two gentlemen around and following them out the door forever.”


---left coast wayne

Kathy H said...

"These guys are good. Halfway up the stairs they suggested I get off the couch."

Anonymouse said...

"They say they're the Seven Santini Brothers, but I don't believe them."

Anonymous said...

Whatever Kathy's smoking, I want some.

Anonymous said...

“Oh, ho, are we gonna’ fly, down in the easy chair.”


---blw

boneguy said...

I found it floating in New York harbor right after Sandy. Once we get the stench of death out, it should be as good as new.

Greenie Stik-M-Caps said...


"My family came over on the Mayflower."

C.D. Romney said...

"It's a pull-out. Something you know little about else we wouldn't have 12 kids."

Dr. Ruth Westshammer said...

"I want to put the loveseat back into our marriage."

C.D. Romney said...

"It's a pull-out. Something you know little about, hence little Sally and Tim."

Whatchamacallit said...

"It's Blue-Collar Four-Way night. The S.A. does me from behind and calls me 'puta'. The white one sits on the couch, farting and drinking Schlitz while yelling obscenities at the television."

Anonymous said...

double the cushion
double the pushin'
just ask these lucky stiffs,Limpy

Hand Solo said...

Twice the cushions of your cheap-ass rent-a-center like seat

Where do you want it? said...

"This is your new bed. Jorge and Zeb will be sleeping with me. Impotency problem solved."

Don Jr. said...

"I am not a bitch; I just like to be comfortable with my own stuff."

Anonymous said...

"I thought if you are going to fuck with my mind I might as well have a couch that still has a hymen."

Anonymous said...

“It’s a ‘howdah’ . . . look it up, asshole.”


---left coast wayne

Damon said...

"Can you talk my sofa into doing anal?"

Anonymous said...

“Well, I suppose we could sit on it and neck for awhile . . . But, understand, me and the boys are gone the minute the winners are announced.”


---blw

Anonymous said...

"What'd you expect? Laurel and Hardy and a piano?"

Kathy H said...

Who's the first to conquer living space
It's in-con-tra-vertible
That the first to conquer living space
Is the Castro Convertible

Who conquers space with fine design
Who saves you money all the time
Who's tops in the convertible line
Cas-tro convertible!

boneguy said...

Your midnight shift starts now, al.

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