As for how these sessions are going, Doc, sofa so good.
You're in my chair.
Thanks, Doc, you cured the depression in my sofa cushion.
"The stains came out. I'm still suing you."
"Humor police. This cartoon is one couch short of being completely trite."
"I'm haunted by the chaises of your victims.""I brought a couple movers. Do you mind a menage a quatre?"
"My hour here will be obscene."
"Flexsteely, you crazy bastard! How are you?"Jim Cavanaugh
Maybe you can afford first class, but I'm still flying couch.
"I brought a couple of Teamsters. It doesn't matter if you mind."
"Poppie ... Your new 'Ipeed'!"
"They're movers. I'm the shaker."
"Where should I put you!"
"I'm a sexual surrogate, not a prostitute, but I only screw young men not Jung men."
"Well, that new couch just solved one of my deep-seated fears."
I just sold it to my friend in Honolulu. I mean, what better place to couch-surf?
"I hope you don't mind; I brought my own couch."
What do you expect a girl to do when she gets tired of walking?
"Tater ... It's for you!"
"You'll never fuck any of your 16-year-old clients on that couch again. Oh, and by the way, your bail has been revoked."
"I brought my own casting couch."
"Brought my son with me, just like you asked. I sewed him into the seat cushions."
"Last time I got rug burns."
"It's a "Teamster Powered Sedan Couch' ... 4 mpg city. 5mpg country. You save $5.40!"
Ha, so much for your "no black people in the New Yorker cartoons" trope.
"I'd like to audition for the job opening."
"More important, however, is what I learned about the importance of both comfort and design."
"When you're finished here, Spencer, I'll need you on the couch to nowhere project."
I don't know anyway to couch this but I'm leaving you and taking the sofa with me.
Sure it tops out at 3 mph, but to make it more fun I went with the dual stick option.
"Harold I'm leaving you! ... Your cartoon is boring ... I'm taking the couch from #330 ... I'll be at #357!"
"Hop on Harold ... It's your 'Singapore Airlines' Airporter ... 'Always the best! Even to those in economy'!"
"They said it was Sofa King ® good."
Think of it as another type of transference
"According to the salesman, Robinson Crusoe, it's a 'Black Friday', best buy!"
"I brought my own couch so none of your fucking germs will get all over me."
"It's OK . . . I'll take it with me when we're done."---blw
“Couch potato . . . sofa tuber . . . divan yam . . . whatever. We all know you’re a lazy piece of shit and I’m turning these two gentlemen around and following them out the door forever.” ---left coast wayne
"These guys are good. Halfway up the stairs they suggested I get off the couch."
"They say they're the Seven Santini Brothers, but I don't believe them."
Whatever Kathy's smoking, I want some.
“Oh, ho, are we gonna’ fly, down in the easy chair.”---blw
I found it floating in New York harbor right after Sandy. Once we get the stench of death out, it should be as good as new.
"My family came over on the Mayflower."
"It's a pull-out. Something you know little about else we wouldn't have 12 kids."
"I want to put the loveseat back into our marriage."
"It's a pull-out. Something you know little about, hence little Sally and Tim."
"It's Blue-Collar Four-Way night. The S.A. does me from behind and calls me 'puta'. The white one sits on the couch, farting and drinking Schlitz while yelling obscenities at the television."
double the cushion double the pushin'just ask these lucky stiffs,Limpy
Twice the cushions of your cheap-ass rent-a-center like seat
"This is your new bed. Jorge and Zeb will be sleeping with me. Impotency problem solved."
"I am not a bitch; I just like to be comfortable with my own stuff."
"I thought if you are going to fuck with my mind I might as well have a couch that still has a hymen."
“It’s a ‘howdah’ . . . look it up, asshole.”---left coast wayne
"Can you talk my sofa into doing anal?"
“Well, I suppose we could sit on it and neck for awhile . . . But, understand, me and the boys are gone the minute the winners are announced.”---blw
"What'd you expect? Laurel and Hardy and a piano?"
Who's the first to conquer living spaceIt's in-con-tra-vertibleThat the first to conquer living spaceIs the Castro ConvertibleWho conquers space with fine designWho saves you money all the timeWho's tops in the convertible lineCas-tro convertible!
Your midnight shift starts now, al.
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