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Tolling for the aching ones whose wounds cannot be nursed
For the countless confused, accused, misused, strung-out ones and worse
And for every hung-up person in the whole wide universe.
We gaze upon this medal of freedom flashing.--Angus Podgorny (JUDGE'S COMMENT: In addition to a sharp and highly relevant pun, this cap, perhaps unintentionally, explains why the honor is merited [Bob already has an Oscar, you know]. Dylan has championed the downtrodden including those who are strung-out and hung-up etc. As evidenced by the stanza selected for this cap, he is a wordsmith of unsurpassed precision. [I mean who rhymes "nursed" with "worse" and "universe?"] Thanks, Augus, for bringing it all back home. )
"Some day, and that day may never come, I would like to call upon you to do me a service in return."--The Don (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Aside from striking a cord with a GF reference, this also has a point. Barry does want Bob to do something for him: Remind everyone he is cool enough to hang with Dylan. )
Hey Bob, what say we spark some of the Hindu Kush bud I planted in Michelle's "organic garden"?--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: To which Bob would respond: "It's cool, Mr. O. Brought my own.)
"And in your own famous words, I'd like to say, 'Numb a dem a non da nime, no anybud id is worth.'"--smuck (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The lazy-man's way to mimic Dylan is to simply slur words in a nasal incoherent twang. The lines perverted here are from "All Along the Watchtower." For the record it actually says. "None of them along the line know what any of it is worth." Kind of like you smuck. I know the words off the top of my head because they are as clear as a bell to me. So there!)
"Newly named Secretary of Coolness, Bob Dylan, is honored at White House ceremony."--Jess (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Next, Barry orders a new national anthem: "Subterranean Homesick Blues.")
"Thanks Ray for all the good times."--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This cap, the first one entered, prompted concern here at Anti-Cap HQ that cappers would fixate on the shades or otherwise just mail it in. Did boneguy's simplistic cap portend a crop of low hanging fruit? Would the well intended effort to provide a bonus cap be rewarded with obvious trite jokes about an aging semi-incoherent rock legend getting props from the black Jimmy Carter? Luckily boneguy's approach was not the norm.)
"Well, Obama did promise a-changin'."--Damon (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Interesting the song referenced specifically notes that it's senators and congressman who should "please heed the call." Dylan's only specific reference to the President is a suggestion that he "must sometimes have to stand naked," but it was penned way before Barry took office, so it's cool.)
Medalinwa--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Jim wisely observes that "metal" is one of many words that can not be spelled without "al." "Interstitial" is another.)
"Before you get all proud of yourself and stuff, just remember that last week I gave this same medal to Johnny Puleo and His Harmonica Gang."--Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This is also pretty bad but there may be some redemption. President Obama's predecessor dished out a metal to George Tenet, the CIA douche who lied us into a catastrophic war. The harmonica ensemble is a far less absurd choice. Maybe that's what Kathy is trying to tell us.)
Obama on Dylan: "There is not a bigger giant in the history American music."--Aaron Copland on Obama: "Fuck you, you puts."
George Gershwin: "That goes for me double."--jim M (JUDGE'S COMMENT: See below)
We would have gotten this to you decades earlier, but alinla was one of the judges--