Sunday, October 2, 2011

The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #305


NOTE: Whenever there is something in a cartoon that appears huge I stop and wonder if maybe its really that the other objects are tiny. Like these could be microscopic office workers fleeing a normal size rat.

This also could have been one of those heavy handed propaganda cartoons. The rat could represent anything from poor hygiene to pro-union leanings. With a few touches -- yamaka, slanted eyes, sombrero, etc.--it could be a metaphor for any much-maligned group. Not a great week for Anti-Caps but a handful of nice ones and one that is one of the best ever. (Guess which.)

I just want to encourage people to think beyond the obvious and reach beyond the absolutely awful. Just a suggestion.


WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
This cartoon should win a Pellet Surprise --Glenn (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Rat poison pellets are often covered with peanut butter so there is an element of surprise. Fits into that huge category of humor that's stupid yet noteworthy. There will one day be a Pulitzer category that addresses this type of thing.)


SECOND PLACE
The guy who drew us literally doesn't give a rat's ass!" --Angus Podgorny (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This is literally true even if the tense is off. Nice one, Ang!)

THIRD PLACE
I'm not sticking around to see if it's just Chris Christie in his Halloween costume.--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Yes, he has weigh issues, that's why the N.Y. Daily News calls him "Kris Krispy Kreme. " Not saying I'd ever vote for the guy, but I'll take "fat" over "ruthless," "stupid," or "corrupt.")

HONORABLE MENTIONS
"Oh my God! It's Willard, Scott." --Scott's Coworker (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The comma makes this work and "Willard" is to "rat" what "Fido" is to "dog" so there's that.)

#lab nerds all run liek theyre gay lulz -JeyeantLabRat@Twitter --Damon (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Her friend would hit back: "LOL BTW How'd x-perment go??" )"


The mousers here split the scene.--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A nod to a classic. Cats remind us you can be indifferent yet remain dignified.)

Ratatouille, you crazy bastard, get back in the kitchen!-- holden_c (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Another classic but pretty bland.)


Actually, David, we need Evrolet girl's pussy right now. --Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This came in respond to a cap that said: "Why have you abandoned us, Evrolet Girl? We need you now more than ever!" As you can clearly see this is much, much better. "Pussy" can also mean "cat," you know.)

"I told you not to let the number of anti-caps fall below 80. If you don't keep Al occupied, he invariably breaks into the lab and starts fucking with the mice." --Richard H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: First off: "invariably," is a pretentious word, and if you are implying that I --Mr. C-Minus-in-Science-- have the skills to do such a thing, I'm flatered. I do appreciate addition of the word "with." Also 80 is like ideal. If it falls to eight I'll be bummed. But 80 is perfect--judging-wise.)

Now at midnight, all the tourists

And the irony-impaired

Get chased away by giant mice

For thinking someone cared

Fusilli that crazy bastard

Expects Mister Bond to cry

His guillotine's a clip-on

Where no black people can spy

The Evrolet girl's back in town

For yet another show

Christ what an asshole, we all say

On Anti-Caption Row --Walt (JUDGE'S COMMENT: "Was that some kind of joke?" And they are not "giant mice." It's a rat, Just one. I suggest you get your facts straight before you embarrass yourself like this again.





93 comments:

Austin said...

I told you not to make him angry!

boneguy said...

I said transgender, not transgenic you idiot.

Mike Mariano said...

"I'm so lonely."

Damon said...

"Holy shit! It's huge!"

"The rat?"

"No, this lab! Where are we - the fucking Staples Center?"

Eric G said...

Shit! We're being audited!

Ray said...

"I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us. And not the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man!"

Richard H said...

"I told you not to let the number of anti-caps fall below 80. If you don't keep Al occupied, he invariably breaks into the lab and starts fucking with the mice."

The Captain said...

"Run, it's a big fucking rodent!"

boneguy said...

I'm not sticking around to see if it's just Chris Christie in his Halloween costume.

Dr Sumguy said...

"Run! It's Norma Desmond's pet rat (I am big, It's the pictures that got small)!

Walt said...

Now at midnight, all the tourists
And the irony-impaired
Get chased away by giant mice
For thinking someone cared
Fusilli that crazy bastard
Expects Mister Bond to cry
His guillotine's a clip-on
Where no black people can spy
The Evrolet girl's back in town
For yet another show
Christ what an asshole, we all say
On Anti-Caption Row

Anonymous said...

"Rats off to ya!"

cta said...

Run! It found its way out of the maze!

cta said...

"You're gonna need a bigger maze!"

Eric G said...

He may be walking here, but we're running!

Eric G said...

accompanying link to last post...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c412hqucHKw

Lois Brow said...

"Fast! Somebody cut the cheese."

Damon said...

"Who's dumbfuck idea was it to let Mr. Gere crawl up there in the first place?"

Glenn said...

This cartoon should win a Pellet Surprise

Anonymous said...

Eek! Ratosh is back!

Jim Cavanaugh

Dr Sumguy said...

"Anybody seen Garfield?"

Glenn said...

"Hell with the mouse, look at the size of the fucking keyboard that's after us!!!"

Dr. Sumguy said...

That's a switch. A mouse looking for pussy.

Damon said...

"Save yourselves! It's too late for the electric shopping cart!"

badman said...

If we keep him, I'm calling him Mondo Gigio.

badman said...

You know what they say... I'll bet he has a tiny dick for a giant rat.

badman said...

c'mon! let's get that lady scientist and fuck her in front of the giant rat!

David Macharelli said...

"Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't believe they exist."

David Macharelli said...

"In choosing a stylish but restrictive vest to impress Patricia, Professor Hinkley's fate was sealed the moment the rat broke free."

PaleoPaul said...

Yeah, I know he's pissed off, but that's no mouse--it's Eddie. Did you catch those eyes and teeth?

Satireguy said...

Dr. Strangelove and his team now regret creating an oversized rat with two right front feet.

Scott's Coworker said...

"Oh my God! It's Willard, Scott."

Utellme said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
boneguy said...

Bad news. The Republicans just cut funding for a cheese flavored missile
shield.

Angus Podgorny said...

"Help! Vince Wilfork is returning an interception!"

Utellme said...

The IRS accountants soon realized they should've set a bigger trap. They needn't have worried:

Jack Rat could eat no tax,
his wife could eat no lien.

Utellme said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Utellme said...

Last week's secretarial candidate, denied the position for being 'too mousey', came back for revenge.

Kathy H said...

"Hey, we we're kidding about buying Rat Island! You can have it!"

Anonymous said...

"When I said you should fuck the mousy one, Eric, I meant the assistant researcher in lab 4"

Dex said...

"Try to outrun Betty--she's menstruating."

Quinn the Eskimo said...

"At least it's not an elephant in the room."

Anonymous said...

The mousers here split the scene.

Jim Cavanaugh

Ritantics said...

To the catmobile!

NAMBY said...

"Remember...huff-puff...you don't have to be the fastest runner... huff-puff, huff-puff...You just have to be the faster runner... huff-puff, huff-puff...

David Macharelli said...

"Why have you abandoned us, Evrolet Girl? We need you now more than ever!"

Anonymous said...

Actually, David, we need Evrolet girl's pussy right now.

Dr Sumguy said...

"It's a gigantic Trojan Mouse, and he's not wearing a Trojan!---Run!"

Damon said...

#lab nerds all run liek theyre gay lulz -JeyeantLabRat@Twitter

Bedevere said...

"Well, now, Launcelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall and then leap out of the mouse... Run away! Run away!"

Stream O'C said...

"You, you dirty rat, you killed my brother. Oh mein Gott, Vee need der Rattenfanger und Ich habe ein grosse hund. It's almost like The three blind mice but in reverse. Somebody D-Con that thing. Ouch, quit milking my mouse. Don't lick me with your Mousey Tongue."

Shelly said...

"Dinsdale..."

Angus Podgorny said...

"Me and my big mouse!"

Angus Podgorny said...

"But, Shelly, Spiny Norman was a hedgehog!"

Suzanna L. said...

Young Patterson did his own work in his 3rd grade art (I mean science) class, which scared the shit out of his teacher and the administration.

Shelly said...

"Angus, but that's just how Dinsdale was- he really knew how to treat an hedgehog impersonator."

boneguy said...

Am I mistaken or did it say Imagineer on Perkin 's resume?

Dr Sumguy said...

"Your too late Maxi Mouse! Minnie was last seen fucking a tall anthropomorphic dog wearing a turtle neck and vest (Goofy)!"

Tim H said...

"Well, ever since Steve Jobs popularized 'em, mouses have been HUGE!"

Anonymous said...

“Well, Watson---prepared or not, I suppose it’s time to tell the world.”

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_rat)


---Matilda Briggs

Anonymous said...

“Someone call Richard Gere. He’ll know what to do!”



---left coast wayne

Anonymous said...

“Damn it, Jim---I’m a scientist, not a big game hunter!”



---blw

Kathy H said...

"The irony is that it's Soupy Sales reincarnated!"

Anonymous said...

“Damn it, Jim---I’m a sex researcher, not a practitioner of bestiality!”


---left coast wayne

Anonymous said...

[With all due respect to the deep research of "Matilda Briggs," the internet correctly informs that Bob Dylan is actually a giant rat]

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Giant_Rat

AW said...

"Ahhh! I hope he doesn't eat my cheese sandwich. Ahhh!"

AW said...

"I knew this day would come. The mouse finally ate the Big Strawberry."

Angus Podgorny said...

"The guy who drew us literally doesn't give a rat's ass!"

LR said...

"Quick, destroy the test drug- look what it did to his feet!"

Quinn the Eskimo said...

"Gentlemen, to the catamaran!"

Anonymouse said...

"Rat, mouse, rodent. In this work-a-day world, does it really matter?"

boneguy said...

I told Andrews that when he get to the cecum to text me.

boneguy said...

I told Andrews that when he gets to the cecum to text me.

germane said...

"Hold on! We need to gather up all the Propofol before we call this in"

Anonymous said...

"Somebody call Amanda Knox. We need her to stab this thing."

Anonymous said...

"Thank god we haven't yet tested the Cialis on him!"


---left coast wayne

Anonymous said...

“If this lasts longer than four hours, should we call our physician???”



---blw

boneguy said...

Any results on the Viagra body lotion study yet?

Dom Estever said...

"We shouldn't run from this buck-tooth Varmint. We'll be accused of playing the rat-race card."

Glenn said...

"Die, Fledermaus!"

Richard H said...

"Fuck, he ate the cat"

Bobby Z said...

"Froggie went a courtin' and rode right up to Miss Mousey's door!! Shit!"

Satireguy said...

No matter how hard he tried, poor Rodney always finished fourth in the annual laboratory fun run.

Quinn the Eskimo said...

"I hope he doesn't like fast food."

Dr Sumguy said...

Who's an ugly bastard and as fat as he can be? M-A-X-I-M-O-U-S-E!

Dr Sumguy said...

Who's the leader of the club That's made for you and me Q-U-I-C-K-I-E-M-O-U-S-E Hey there, Hi there, Whoops!

holden_c said...

Ratatouille, you crazy bastard, get back in the kitchen!

Anonymous said...

"Nobody knows his name, so they call him Anonyrat."

Katmandu said...

"Quick, get the catatonic!"

Austin said...

Disney scientists realize too late their horrific mistake.

Glenn said...

"I told you not to let those PETA idiots into the building!"

Quinn the Eskimo said...

"The Big Cheese isn't going to like this!"

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