The call came sometime around twilight Sunday while I was unloading canned goods and lunch meat from the trunk of my car. It was Mrs. alinla She was over at her mom's house doing laundry and watching the Emmys. There was excitement in her voice. "Are you watching this?" she queried with a gleeful lilt. "Watching what?" I countered trying to stay polite while juggling groceries. "Radosh just won an Emmy! He's on stage right now with Jon accepting it!" After a pause to digest I said "That's nice." And I really meant it.Jon of course is Jon Stewart and Radosh is Daniel Radosh, the founder of the Anti-Caption contest who went on to join the award-winning writing staff of The Daily Show. When he landed the gig he
We knew Daniel when he was just another nebbish writer with a receding hairline and pocket full of dreams. While it is true that even the most devoted fans of The Daily Show still don't know who the hell he is, I believe most Anti-Cappers will sigh wistfully upon hearing Radosh took home an Emmy. We watched lttle Dan-Dan grow up. He's our boy, even though he never calls or writes.
WINNERS
FIRST PLACE“I know we’re in a crisis, but where there’s a Wilbury, there’s a way.”--Dex. (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This is not even close to being the best cap but it is a personal favorite. The man with the notes swirling around his head does look like Roy Orbison aka Lefty Wilbury and there is a nice little pun so I give you this week's winner.)
SECOND PLACE"I'm just asking you to fucking marry me. You don't have to be a cunt about it." --Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This works because it mocks control freak rich guys who believe romantic gestures can be used to acquire goods and services. If he hires a sliky-voiced crooner and asks for her hand in front of their co-workers, she'll agree if for no other reason than to avoid an awkward moment. This also marks the first ever appearance of the c-word in the winner's circle )
THIRD PLACE"I didn't have the jingle yet so I panicked; and, like a godsend, this guy was right outside with a cup . . . I'll go clean out my desk."--Sarah Nade (JUDGE'S COMMENT: People in a jam will do most anything to get out of it. That's what this tells us.)
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"Ask him to sing tenor. Tenor twelve miles away." --cta (JUDGE'S COMMENT: When I played the glockenspiel in band class the teacher asked if I knew how to play "Far Far Away." Everyone laughed. This reminded me of that.)
"Shut him up, Bob. Anybody can outsing you."--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I'll give this props because it is inspired by a classic, but it better not be Dylan you're dissing.)
"Christ, what an alto." --Dex (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Another pun-splashed classic.)
Falsetto, you crazy bastard! How are you?--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT:Jim you once again reach far yet grasp little. Why would he be saying that to the woman? I'll give props for the classic, though.)
"The 'No Stairway' sign was working, so why the hell did you yell out 'Free Bird'?" Glenn (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This is needlessly confusing. Led Zep is to Skynard and what masterpiece is to mush. Nuff said.)
"I can't wait 'til he goes back to the clip-on parrot." --LR (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This also gets charity props. )
"Not only does Mr. Dd like to copy Dylan's licks but seems he's not even creative in his cartoon drawings either."#232 & #246 --Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This points out that the cartoonist is a
"Me? Well, I like to hit a few balls in a batting cage and then go ice skating at Sky Rink. And you?" --Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Not really sure what point K.H. is angling for but it confirms that she is following, so at least there's that. )
101 comments:
"Christ, what an alto."
"They asked if I could look after Garrison Keillor just for the day."
Christ, this feels familiar.
New security measures counteract suspected Chinese listening devices.
"The 'No Stairway' sign was working, so why the hell did you yell out 'Free Bird'?"
"Hi. My name is Art Garfunkel."
Yes how many sales did we close last month? The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind...
"Where's that electric chair when you really need it?"
"If you put all of Drew Dernavitch's cartoons together, you'll have a conference table that spans four football fields."
"Shut him up, Bob. Anybody can outsing you."
"I don't know how Roy Orbison's ghost qualifies as a motivational speaker, either, but you must admit that it's haunting."
"I figured reporting the quarerly report in song would make it a little easier to take."
"His sales pitch is a little off."
"It's the Bankruptcy Song."
"Ask him to sing tenor. Tenor twelve miles away."
"You just had to yell 'Encore!', didn't you?"
"I can't wait 'til he goes back to the clip-on parrot."
I'm trying different ways to fire people. Before you pack up your desk tell me what you think.
"The Nearness of You" again. Care to switch seats?
I can kill a man with a pen.
Mad Men officially jumps the shark.
♪ ♫ ♫ "What notes floating around his head?" ♪ ♫ ♪
"Not only does Mr. Dd like to copy Dylan's licks but seems he's not even creative in his cartoon drawings either."
#232 & #246
This is actually an improvement. Last week, he jerked off.
"Tomorrow I'm trading him in for a Hummer."
"HR has really lost it this time. Singing peace songs isn't going to help. I still hate you."
The CFO is singing Guatemalan love songs and my right arm is bloodlessly detached from my body. Told you your first day would be weird.
Yeah - yeah I know - he's playing our song !!!
"Melancholy Baby?" Crap sounds like our 3rd quarter number's are in the toilet-
LMAO @Steve_O.
If he breaks into a chorus of Kumbaya I'm outta here!
I'm sorry. I hired him to sing "Pretty Woman" for Sandy. I didn't know she was sick and that you'd be here instead. Roy, do you know "Hound Dog"?
My favorite? "Elizabeth Taylor Eyes, Kentucky Fried Chicken Thighs."
"As a favor for Herve, could you play, Five Foot Two, Eyes of Blue?"
"I didn't have the jingle yet so I panicked; and, like a godsend, this guy was right outside with a cup . . . I'll go clean out my desk."
"I call him 'Little Stevie Wonderhosen'. Wait'll you hear him do 'Shoo-Be-Doo-Be-Doo-Da-Day' in Yiddish."
"Sorry. Can't spare a sheet."
Everyone knows his musical notes are just clipped tones.
"Me? Well, I like to hit a few balls in a batting cage and then go ice skating at Sky Rink. And you?"
"Well, at least he has his head and both hands."
One guess who just got laid.
"I know he's our CEO, but rhyming 'recapitalize' and 'your creamy thighs' is a bit of a stretch"
"Nice haircut."
"I find the cacophony of cackles emanating from his evacuating colostomy---amusing! Don't you?"
"He said he was just going to have to 'duet himself'. I don't know if he's being ironic or idiotic."
"He's the best Esperanto singer I have ever heard. Ask him to play Mack the Knife (Mack la Trancxilo)."
"He's a corporate raider...says he got this company for a song."
Jim Cavanaugh
"No, I wasn't singing. He hit me in the head."
"Look, I'm as sorry about the atrocities as the next guy, but I just can't take another fucking tribute"
"I didn't say stereo type, did you?"
"Are you taking notes, or should I?"
"I admire your persistence. But there's no room in the budget for complimentary turkeys."
This is what we get for hiring Mexicans.
"...and to think, when the board said we'd be getting more Cash at the next meeting, I was excited."
"He actually does have lovely lady lumps."
"Now that we've covered Yesterday, let's talk about this company's future."
"He is killing me softly with his song. And I fully expect to be dead in 15 minutes."
"Well, the way this company is going, we'll soon all be appearing on American Idle."
"Send in Blutarsky!"
"Try to compose yourself."
Jim Cavanaugh
"Stylistically, he's a cross between Joan Armatrading and The Singing Nun."
Yeah, Staff Meeting Hero is fully compatible with the guitar, if you don't feel like springing for the tablet or the mug.
"The Americans With Abilities Act should be repealed."
Do you care what his favorite things are?
"I brought a coupe plait miget*, do you mind?"
* French for "guitar-playing accountant".
"I deff so eh dunna bovva meh."
"Well, Obama did promise us ch-ch-ch-ch-changes."
"He's an old cowhand from the Rio Grande
But his legs ain't bowed and his cheeks ain't tanned
He's the cowboy who never saw a cow
Never roped a steer 'cause he don't know how
He sure ain't fixin' to start in now
Yippee i oh ti-ay! Yippee i oh ti-ay!"
"Yes, he spent two years in Julliard, two years in Mannes, and four years in vain."
"He has suffered for his art. Now, it's our turn."
"He's my ride home!"
not a caption
http://www.thelocal.se/36118/20110913/
Al in LA charged for playing Dylan song for his ex
Singing "Meat, the new boss" doesn't make it any less of a lameass slogan."
He only plays in the key of Dd. This shit's getting old.
"This is eerily reminiscent of when Dylan gave the annual profit margins report at the Newport Folk Festival."
---blw
"If you think the acoustics here are bad, you should see the captions."
Carl knows none of you believes there ever was a Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young & Fortner. That is, except you, Doris, who's experienced his expert fingering before.
Jerking me off under the table, Miss Jones, is NOT going to get your brother a contract.
"So You Think He's Got Talent?"
"Trust me, yodeling's making a huge comeback; as sure as I'm president of B.M. & Fartte Entertainment."
"Seriously? Your name is Ms. Heard Lyrics, and you're using your notepad to pad your bra."
"Musical is his middle name. Unfortuantely, his first name is No and his last name is Talent."
"I prefer the one about when his cat died"
"Why aren't there more songs about farting in elevators?'
"I liked these meetings better with the parrots."
"Three verses of 'Where have all the flowers gone?' here are obscene."
"I like mine better."
"It's the quarterly numbers report. Must be looking better. Last time he did a dirge in his son's Grim reaper costume."
"Who's fretting?"
Unfortunately, I told my kids never to say "Shut the &@#% up".
"I had no idea Grandma got run over by a reindeer."
But why would they call the wind Maria?
"'Pair of roller skates' represents the labia. 'Brand new key' means he has a newly working penis, having just hit adolescence. Any other questions?"
"If Simon still sat on our panel, this guy would be dead meat."
---blw
“Oh, mama, can this really be the end? To be stuck inside a board meeting with the ‘X Factor’ blues again.”
---Bobby Z.
"It's still better than any PowerPoint presentation I've ever seen."
"Since when does 'quarterly profits' rhyme with 'carbon offsets'?"
“I know we’re in a crisis, but where there’s a Wilbury, there’s a way.”
"Ironically, he ain't my brother but he is rather heavy."
"He saw the earnings report, so I have no idea why he is so up-beat.."
"Recitals are my favorite part of board resolutions."
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