Monday, April 4, 2011

The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #282

. WINNERS . FIRST PLACE So - We've confirmed "AIR ITALIA" does have hair under the wings. Now what? --Dr Sumguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The effort to explain why these two folks are under the plane took many forms--this was the most tasteless and bizarre. Also the author of this cap submitted it, then went back the next day and re-submitted to correct a minor type-o and change the signature from just "Dr" to "Dr Sumguy." We have come to expect that kind of sloppyness and encourage that kind of conscientiousness.)
SECOND PLACE

"If we somehow live, you're grounded." --My strict delusional dad (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The signature suggests than the girl has done something to put her dad in this perilous spot. It would seem the dad realizes they are both going to go splat, and that gives it dark humor cred. And, yes, they will be grounded so we also have a dumb pun. Also welcome here. It would have won if it was funnier.)
THIRD PLACE 

“Better get some sleep ‘cause you’re gonna be tired when we hit the runway.”--xs (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Again we see stupid mixed with morbid. By "tired" he means they will be squished like bugs. Fair enough. The cartoon is absurd and so should be the caps. That's something they just don't get at the New Yorker.)
HONORABLE MENTIONS

"I've flown first class, business and coach, but never sat with the big wheels before."---blw (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Dumb little pun. Obvious and uninspired. You proud of yourself, blw? )

“At least we’ll be the first to disembark,” ---left coast wayne (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I believe the word you are looking for is "de-plane" but people will rationalize even the most horrible circumstance. Made me think that Dis M. Bark would make great name for a rapper.)

.
"No, for the last time, I'm not Jack Nicholson and I've never played the Joker in any Batman movie." --Satireguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A bit heavy handed and not really funny, but I also thought the woman looks like Cesar Romero playing The Joker with her hair back like that and everything.)

. Cheapfares.com wasn't kidding.---Rocko (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Reminded me of a time a few years ago when I used Priceline to get a $70-a-night hotel room in mid-town Manhattan. When I opened the door I laughed out loud. That's how small the room was. The one window had a view of a brick wall that was 10 feet away. Still a great value.)

. "This is plenty hot, but, next week, let's fuck a helicopter." --On a Plane (JUDGE'S COMMENT: There does appeal to be a sexual component to the cartoon I predicted someone would suggest the women has her arms wraped around an over-sized cock and the tires look like giant balls [Even better: they're black!]. But "fuck a helicopter?" Why not stay home and do the meat grinder? )

. "With this fetish, a landing strip would made sense." --David (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Another sexual theme. this one is a reference to pubic hair.)

. "You've been a good agent, Dave, and I know I haven't had work since that Maxell poster. But fuck this shit!" [FIVE MINUTES LATER] "You've been trying to find me work since that Maxell poster, and this is the best you could do? Bad agent! Bad!" (Makes more sense. Sort of.) --Damon (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Actually they both kind of suck but this recalls the famous photo that has loud music blowing back a man's hair and toppling his martini glass. Around here "fuck" is always preferred over "bad" [How could you not know that?] Good cultural reference David. Thanks for caring enough to try and salvage it.)

. "You think this is bad. Wait until you see the fuselage." --Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The link went to a photo of a Southwest jet that had some of its roof ripped off. We realize now Kathy is a compulsive linker.)

. "Hey, where's that third guy? I mean, it does take three people to confirm that "AIR ITALIA" has hair under the wings, right?" --Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: No way to know if Kathy saw the this week's winner before she posted this. Maybe she is mocking it. Also, why would it take three people to check two pits? What is it with you anyway, Kathy?)
. "I wasn't going to tell you now, but I'm the CEO of this airline and we're on Undercover Boss." --Anonymouse (JUDGE'S COMMENT: And she's the one whose job it is to ride on the tire outside the plane? Toward what end?)

. "So then the little brat said, 'You're in my seat.' Who would have thought that would work?"--Carol Lou Ellen THE NEXT DAY [I am filled with shame that my earlier comment submitted at 5:32 on April 4 mis-quoted an earlier anti-cap winner. This is how "hell" insinuated itself into the Fusilli line, presumably.] (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Mark Twain said humans are the only animals that can blush -- or need to. Why didn't also correct the mistake? For the record it's "chair" not "seat." And she is not a brat, she is an adorable child who is also an Anti-Cap Contest Top Winner [our youngest ever]. Think YOU'LL ever win this thing, Carol? I don't.)

. "Look, if dying's a given, I'm letting go of the wheel so that I can go down with some semblance of cool. Just like my buddy who was shit out of an entire pride of lions." --Grandpa (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I don't get how that would be cool. Good use of the word "semblance," though.)

"It's important to grip the wheel tightly with both hands at touch down."--Rob (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A few minutes after this was entered, "Anonymous" submitted this: "Contest over! Rob won hands down! LMAO" Thanks for the input but this is not laugh your ass off funny. It's just not.)

"You know, people die from stowing away in airplane wheel wells regularly. This really isn't funny. The New Yorker shouldn't make jokes about this." --Mike Mariano (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A few minutes later "Jett Blew" responded by posting this: "Hey Mike, we have a free ticket for you you baby plus its a cartoon dumbass." I think Mike was being ironic. Now who's the dumbass?)

. "I'M BLACK! FUCK ME! AND I'M QUEER! I'M BLACK! FUCK ME! AND I'M QUEER!" (Because of the noise, Eddie's plea for John to "climb back up the landing gear" went unheard.) --Damon (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I do not get this but with it seemed very Anti-Cap. Nice job Demon. Next time make it comprehensible.)
. "Try really really hard to suppress your weird g-force face or you will surety get flies on glill." -- Li Po - Cook from Bonanza (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This suggests that bugs will be mashed against the woman's teeth and that Japanese people do not pronounce "grill" properly. Moreover, it is a reference to a previous cap. Confusing yet impressive.)

. Some of the old-time federal air marshalls never even wore a gun. Lot of folks find that hard to believe. Carol Lou Ellen never carried one. That's the younger Carol Lou. 'Course, an underwear bomb took her out.--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Ripping off someone else's idea is the sincerest form of flattery--Jim knows that. I do not think Carol is worthy of this type of attention just yet.)

“’It's bright in the heavens and the wheels are flying’ . . . but I guess you ain’t talkin’.” ---Little Bobby Zimmerman ((JUDGE'S COMMENT: A few lines from a song included on one of Dylan's best album ever, Modern Times. In it he also says: "The suffering is unending / Every nook and cranny has it's tears / I'm not playing, I'm not pretending / I'm not nursing any superfluous fears." The man is a genius is all I'm saying.)

"Fuselage, you crazy bastard! How the hell high are you?" --Shelly (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I really do like it when you people advance a classic--even if it is a really stupid lame effort.)

. Shut up, Bob, everyone knows your airplane is a clip-on. --JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Johnny B usually steers clear of the classics. He also steers clear of anything remotely funny. Thanks for playing J.B. )

. "Christ, what an airhole" --Richard H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: You make J.B. look good. Yes, that's how bad this is. )

. Listen you fucking dirt worshipper, if you had let me be Woody, we'd be sitting in the airport bar with Buzz and Bullseye instead of up here trying to get that god damned pullstring stuffed back into you.--Shawn (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Mrs. al in la loves, loves, loves "Toy Story." Me? Not so much. But I got the reference. That's the important thing.)

. "First you hire your cousin Guido as my attorney and I do 8 years for a parking ticket. Now it's Uncle Tony the travel agent. I despise the way you pose yourself; you and your whole fucking family." --Utellme (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This references what Senator Pat Geary said to Michael Corleone in The Godfather. [He calls him "Mr. Coo-lee-owny"] The senator would later wake up with a dead hooker. He quickly learned to play ball. Something to think about Utellme.)

. “Wow! It’s a whole different perspective, isn’t it? From up here it looks like the Mets are only a game out of first place!” ---Marv Throneberry (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Throneberry was to the Mets what JohnnyB is to the Anti-Cap contest. More important, the Mets are completely outpacing the Red Sox. So there.)
. "I hope we land soon or we'll miss Ralph Kiner throwing out the first pitch at the Mets' 50th home opener." --Tim H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The veteran announcer threw out the first ball [not "pitch"] during the home opener. Very classy. A great man. As is so often the case I did not need your stinkin' link to tell me that.)

. "When I was married to Evel Knievel, he never asked me to go with him on one of his dumb-ass stunts. NEVER." --Mrs. Super Dave Osborne (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I include this because most people don't know that "Super Dave's" real last name is Einstein and he is the brother of actor Albert Brooks, whose real name is--I shit you not--Albert Einstein. Their other brother, Cliff Einstein, is an ad exec who had me over to his house when I first moved to L.A. )

. "What better way to honor Bryan Stow. Asshole Dodger fans."--Dante (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Mr. Stow was beaten to with an inch of his life when he had the temerity to wear a Giants jersey to the Dodgers/Giants game in L.A. I have gone to many Mets/Dodgers games wearing my Mets apparel and never had a problem. Now I realize I was just lucky. Also, except for my wife, "asshole Dodger fan" is redundant.)

. I've discovered something incredible! F*** You Is a perfectly good caption for nearly every single new yorker cartoon ever!-- sam! (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Please note: It is okay to use the F-word here. A better catch-all cap is "You think this is funny?" and, of course, "Good thing there are no black people here to see this.")

. "Ooh, ooh. I know a guy who thinks that all stock symbols have three leters! I mean, he doesn't even know that the symbol for Ford Motor Company is 'F' -- just 'F'! Can you believe that?" THREE MINUTES LATER [or "...three letters..."] --Anonymouse (JUDGE'S COMMENT: So, to re-cap, the author of this cap set out to make fun of me but ended up humiliating himself. Happens all the time.)

. "What's the matter now? Widdle alinla wants back in the pwane? Oh, don't worry, Al, you probably won't fall to your death - that would be nearly impossible!"--Carol Lou Ellen (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Like a dog with a bone, Carol once again references my line about sex on a plane being "nearly" impossible without Mrs. al in la. I don't get the baby talk but I like the attention to detail.)

. "Help the bombardier!" "I'm the bombardier, I'm all right." "Then help Al, help Al!" (Its Tuesday night already!)-- Dex (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Be patient Dex. I still get these things turned around a lot faster than the New Yorker staff and I don't have interns or a house in the Hamptons.)

. “There is nothing funny about this. It makes no sense at all. But I do have an unshakable faith that alinla will keep these two fundamental values in mind when he judges this week’s Anti-Cap Contest!”---the Venerable Bede (JUDGE'S COMMENT: "Not funny" and "makes no sense" are not values--in fact they are the opposite of values. Still, I am touched by your faith in me.)

. Al's inside judging caps. --Austin (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Very touching yet still asinine. This references by my comment about judging the contest during a cross-continental flight a few weeks ago. How this explains the two people on the wing I don't know -- and don't care. Austin was paying attention. Any other cap he posts will get an automatic Honorable Mention. If he references Dylan, the Mets or Star Trek he will be among the top winners. That just how I roll.) .

137 comments:

Steve_O said...

"Sooo....cooold...."

Anonymous said...

"Oh, look, Kowalski, someone's waving."

-Carol Lou Ellen

Damon said...

"You've been a good agent, Dave, and I know I haven't had work since that Maxell poster. But fuck this shit!"

Damon said...

"You've been trying to find me work since that Maxell poster, and this is the best you could do? Bad agent! Bad!"

(Makes more sense. Sort of.)

Kathy H said...

"You think this is bad. Wait until you see the fuselage."

LR said...

"We've got about a minute to join the mile-high club- you should make it with time to spare."

Anonymouse said...

"I wasn't going to tell you now, but I'm the CEO of this airline and we're on Undercover Boss."

Anonymous said...

"We just hit a flock of geese and it's Sully's day off."

Anonymous said...

Nice, Bob! Thanks for hogging that spot! While the wind is working in your favor, it's giving me hell!

JohnnyB said...

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

JohnnyB said...

No, Shatner, I'm not a gremlin destroying the plane; don't shoot me!

Anonymous said...

"It's important to grip the wheel tightly with both hands at touch down."

Rob

Anonymous said...

Contest over! Rob won hands down! LMAO

Anonymous said...

Yum! These wheels are made of donuts!

Uncle Bubba said...

I'm really tired!

Mike Mariano said...

"You know, people die from stowing away in airplane wheel wells regularly. This really isn't funny. The New Yorker shouldn't make jokes about this."

phil ben said...

OK now wheres my million dollars Regis?

Erica Dong said...

Now I have a "fear of flying"

Jett Blew said...

Hey Mike, we have a free ticket for you you baby plus its a cartoon dumbass

Damon said...

"I'M BLACK! FUCK ME! AND I'M QUEER! I'M BLACK! FUCK ME! AND I'M QUEER!"

(Because of the noise, Eddie's plea for John to "climb back up the landing gear" went unheard.)

D.B. Cooper said...

The good news is that after 40 years, the FBI still haven't caught me. The bad news is, this is my hideout.

Damon said...

"...and boy, are my arms gonna be tired!"

Satireguy said...

"It's not a bad ride until the landing."

Anonymous said...

"I have to pee."

Anonymous said...

"OPENLY FAG!!?...PENIS!..WHAT!!?

dwilk

Li Po - Cook from Bonanza said...

"Try really really hard to suppress your wierd g-force face or you will surery get flies on glill."

My strict delusional dad said...

"If we somehow live, you're grounded."

Thom Crews said...

"This is beautiful, Man! By performing my own crazy stunts and having a passably-hot prop wife, people forget that I'm a secret-homo married to Vinnie Barbarino."

boneguy said...

Hard to believe there's a height restriction for this ride.

JohnnyB said...

Western Airlines: The ooooonly way to fly!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfmRKHtzfFs

Glenn said...

"I knew I should have gotten a landing strip, but you had to have a bald eagle!"

Anonymous said...

"We just hit a flock of geese and Sully's on the job but that won't matter for us two because, well you know, the whole water thing."

Tim H said...

"Goodyear? Not quite."

Kathy H said...

"Once we get to Tripoli, I am soooo gonna write a letter to NATO!"

Anonymous said...

"That cloud looks like a cupcake... and that cloud looks like a bunny... and that cloud looks a stegosaurus... and that cloud looks like a sock... and that cloud looks like a cloud that looks like a bunny... and that cloud looks like a cloud in the shape of a cloud that looks like..."

Anonymous said...

"You have Tourette's Syndrome! Mine is Turret's Syndrome!!!"

xs

Anonymous said...

"Say what you will, when you fly Southwest, it's still safer here than in the cabin."


---blw

Anonymous said...

"It's gonna' be a bad hair day, mark my words."


---blw

Anonymous said...

“I thought we were screwed ‘til I saw those two people down there standing by the ‘F’ sign.”


---blw

Damon said...

"Is the wind pushing my overbite in?"

Anonymous said...

“At least we’ll be the first to disembark,”


---left coast wayne

Anonymous said...

“So this is what you meant when you said that we’d be sitting with some big wheels.”


---left coast wayne

Austin said...

Al's inside judging caps.

Austin said...

Next time we fly coach, not steerage.

Austin said...

Hazing at Reagan National.

Anonymouse said...

[Nod to Uncle Bubba]

"I'm wheely tired!"

Tim H said...

"Hey, this Air Force One is one sweet ride!"

Anonymous said...

“No. Hell is being in row Z at landing, and waiting for every Overhead bin Laden to remove their fucking carry on luggage and exit the plane.”

dwilk

Anonymous said...

“’It's bright in the heavens and the wheels are flying’ . . . but I guess you ain’t talkin’.”


---Little Bobby Zimmerman

Anonymous said...

They wanted eight bucks for a blanket, so I just figured fuck it!

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

"So then the little brat said, 'You're in my seat.' Who would have thought that would work?"

-Carol Lou Ellen

Anonymous said...

"The name is al, alon EL AL."

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

"Like I said, what could go wrong? We're even getting a better view this way. See, down there, that's Lockerbie."

-Carol Lou Ellen

Anonymous said...

"They will introduce us to the assembled masses as the Duke and Duchess of Wheels!"

Anonymous said...

Some of the old-time federal air marshalls never even wore a gun. Lot of folks find that hard to believe. Carol Lou Ellen never carried one. That's the younger Carol Lou. 'Course, an underwear bomb took her out.

Jim Cavanaugh

Rude Awakening said...

"Are those really your testicles?"

Flight Engineer said...

"Wheelie?"

suzannalangowski said...

"Shut up, Bob. It beats going through airport security."

Shelly said...

"Fuselage, you crazy bastard! How the hell high are you?"

Anonymous said...

"So a hiker finds a cabin in the mountains, right? And there are two dead people inside. And he immediately knows how they died, but they didn't die of starvation or hypothermia. So how did he know?"

-Carol Lou Ellen

Anonymous said...

[I am filled with shame that my earlier comment submitted at 5:32 on April 4 mis-quoted an earlier anti-cap winner. This is how "hell" insinuated itself into the Fusilli line, presumably.]

"'Get out of my chair,' the little brat said. Who would have thought that would work?"

-Carol Lou Ellen

JohnnyB said...

Shut up, Bob, everyone knows your airplane is a clip-on.

Kathy H said...

"So, whaddya think? Are air trafic controllers considered 'essential' employees?"

Richard H said...

"Christ, what an airhole"

Dr said...

So - Weve confirmed "AIR ITALIA" does have hair under the wings. Now what!

Anonymous said...

"What's even more demoralizing is the words "FART GENERATOR" printed across this blimp."

Tim H said...

"Did you know that an anagram for Christopher Weyant is Phony Tire Watchers?"

Anonymous said...

“Better get some sleep ‘cause you’re gonna be tired when we hit the runway.”

xs

Gary P said...

"I..said...I...don't...love...you...any...more!"

Anonymous said...

"You're right! This is a great alternative to Botox!"

Anonymous said...

"Help the bombardier!"
"I'm the bombardier, I'm all right."
"Then help Al, help Al!" (Its Tuesday night already!)

-- Dex

Aerodynamic said...

"What a drag."

Boob Radley said...

"After seeing these up close Honey, you're right . They may be too big for your next implants"

Anonymous said...

Notice: Unless you are named "Arnold P. Fasnock", you may read only the "odd numbered words" (every other word beginning with the first) of the caption above. If you have violated that, then you hereby owe the sender 10 GBP for each even numbered word you have read.

Fasnock Properties Ltd.

Glenn said...

"I tagged you!"
"No you didn't!"
"Yes I did!"
"No way, I was safe!"
"You can't just hold on to the base!"
"I'm not!"
"Yes you are!"
"Idiot!"
"Douchebag!"

Anonymouse said...

"...but on the plus side, apparently our noses are very aerodynamic."

Anonymous said...

“Statistics still show that we’re safer flying than driving on the freeway.”


---blw

Anonymous said...

"Admit it . . . traveling my way is a breath of fresh air . . . and it's cheaper."


---left coast wayne

Kathy H said...

"When I said that I was a big Jets fan, I meant football!"

Anonymous said...

"What's the matter now? Widdle alinla wants back in the pwane? Oh, don't worry, Al, you probably won't fall to your death - that would be nearly impossible!"

-Carol Lou Ellen

Satireguy said...

"No, for the last time, I'm not Jack Nicholson and I've never played the Joker in any Batman movie."

Anonymous said...

"I've flown first class, business and coach, but never sat with the big wheels before."


---blw

Anonymous said...

"This is a pre-recorded briefing, made prior to your departure, and which, for security reasons of the highest importance, has been known on board during the mission only by your al 9000 computer.
Eighteen months ago, the first evidence of intelligent life on Earth was discovered ... buried forty feet below the surface ... a single, very powerful radio emission, aimed at Jupiter ..."

Dave

Grandpa said...

"Look, if dying's a given, I'm letting go of the wheel so that I can go down with some semblance of cool. Just like my buddy who was shit out of an entire pride of lions."

Orville said...

How're we gonna land ,Wilbur?
I say hard,
hard,
Very hard!

Anonymouse said...

"Ooh, ooh. I know a guy who thinks that all stock symbols have three leters! I mean, he doesn't even know that the symbol for Ford Motor Company is 'F' -- just 'F'! Can you believe that?"

Anonymouse said...

[or "...three letters..."]

Gary P said...

"You were trying to get away from me? I was trying to get away from you!

Anonymous said...

Cheapfares.com wasn't kidding.

Rocko

Anonymous said...

It would have been much more comfortable if we'd just hijacked the son of a bitch.

Rocko

Dr Sumguy said...

So - We've confirmed "AIR ITALIA" does have hair under the wings. Now what?

Anonymous said...

“There is nothing funny about this. It makes no sense at all. But I do have an unshakable faith that alinla will keep these two fundamental values in mind when he judges this week’s Anti-Cap Contest!”


---the Venerable Bede

Anonymous said...

“Wow! It’s a whole different perspective, isn’t it? From up here it looks like the Mets are only a game out of first place!”


---Marv Throneberry

Dr Sumguy said...

"They caught me disabling the bathroom smoke detector! What about you?"

Kathy H said...

"Hey, where's that third guy? I mean, it does take three people to confirm that "AIR ITALIA" has hair under the wings, right?"

On a Plane said...

"This is plenty hot, but, next week, let's fuck a helicopter."

David said...

"With this fetish, a landing strip would made sense."

Glenn said...

"Me? I thought you had the detonator?"

Anonymous said...

Gee Tom, I just love the way the wind blows your girly hair around, and, technically, if we both "happen" to book the same flight it might not violate my restraining order. Now, let's go back inside and cuddle some more to get warm.

Possibly Eric G.

Anonymous said...

Listen you fucking dirt worshipper, if you had let me be Woody, we'd be sitting in the airport bar with Buzz and Bullseye instead of up here trying to get that god damned pullstring stuffed back into you.

Shawn

Hyde D. Kloom said...

"I'm trying to prove a point, dear. You're just not that attractive. This is the closest you'll EVER get to a runway."

Two Fly Lessons and He Thinks He's a Pilot! said...

"You just HAD to knock on the cockpit door and ask to help land the plane. And right when they began serving cocktails."

(I meant) Two Flying Lessons and He Thinks He's a Pilot! said...

"You just HAD to knock on the cockpit door and ask to help land the plane. And just when they were passing out almonds."

Utellme said...

"The day I introduced you to mom, she said 'I don't like him.' she said. 'You get to know this one wheel well before you take another step.', she said."

Utellme said...

"First you hire your cousin Guido as my attorney and I do 8 years for a parking ticket. Now it's Uncle Tony the travel agent. I despise the way you pose yourself; you and your whole fucking family."

A Dissatisfied Match.com Customer said...

"When you asked me to 'go out' with you, I was SO thinking dinner and a movie."

Mrs. Super Dave Osborne said...

"When I was married to Evel Knievel, he never asked me to go with him on one of his dumb-ass stunts. NEVER."

Anonymous said...

"What better way to honor Bryan Stow. Asshole Dodger fans."

Dante

NAMBY said...

"Maybe you shouldn't have called that ticket agent a stupid bitch."

Tim H said...

"I hope we land soon or we'll miss Ralph Kiner throwing out the first pitch at the Mets' 50th home opener."

smuck said...

"I'm just plane crazy! But I've also been described as batshit insane, presumably due to my fondness for guano."

Anonymous said...

"I know it seems dangerous... that's just how I roll, baby..." -cta

cta said...

"The dog?"

Anonymous said...

"When we land, stay clear of the tire, unless you want to be a whirled traveler." -cta

Anonymous said...

"I'm not telling you any more airplane jokes -- they all seem to be over your head." -cta

Anonymous said...

"You might not be able to see it, but I always travel with a strap on." -cta

Schuyler said...

"These transatlantic flights keep me up all night."

AFL C I o said...

"We could both use a raise."

Lefty said...

"Would you mind switching tires -- I'm left handed."

sam! said...

I've discovered something incredible! F*** You Is a perfectly good caption for nearly every single new yorker cartoon ever!

Plane Language said...

"Oh shit, we're in row F again."

Gary P said...

"...water landing...unlikely event...seat cushion...cabin pressure...your mask first...what the hell covers this??"

Anonymous said...

“Of course, I’m pissed. We had to pay extra for bags!”


---left coast wayne

Anonymous said...

“Don’t hold your breath waiting for that gin & tonic. The beverage cart will never fit between these two wheels.”


---left coast wayne

D. Crease said...

"Normally I'd shit in my pants, but this time I'm wearing your jeans."

F is Ford's Ticker Symbol said...

"We can't turn in or the plane will careen when it lands."

Anonymous said...

"Allahu Akbar!"

Anonymous said...

"Would it kill them to bring us a blanket and pillow . . . and maybe the inflight magazine???"


---left coast wayne

Austin said...

I'm so glad we don't have to sit in the wings this time.

Anonymous said...

Kind of reminds me of when my testicles descended back in '73.

Rocko

Richard H said...

"The trickiest part is the landing."

FAA in la said...

"My fear of geese is surpassed only by my fear of federal aviation regulations."

Partial Birth of a Nation said...

"This is the last time we're giving up our seats to a woman in labor."

Calvin Coolidge said...

"Why don't you do your business in business class?"

Turret's Syndrome said...

"Blue water with a smattering of turds at 12 o'clock high."

Tim H said...

"After what happened at JFK on Monday, we're much safer up here."

smuck said...

"This place sucks."

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Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.