The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #249

Note: It was only a few weeks ago that we had a suit & tie guy standing on a beach holding a surf board while talking to a life guard. This week, we are presented with an office drone talking to a glum looking exec type seated in a life guard chair. What better place to attempt irony than in an office setting (I always say). Proof once again that in cartooning, as in life, there are no new ideas; only old ideas that you hope people have forgotten.

Submit an AntiCap that is funny, ironic, pathetic; or all of the above . Enjoy!

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WINNER

You're highered.--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE’S COMMENT: This is brilliant in its simplicity. Jim’s pun for “hired” is so stupid its clever (at least in comparison to everything else this week). There is a Zen-like quality that explains why there is a lifeguard chair in an office setting. It also reflects that the “life guard” is NOT the one doing the talking. This is something many Anti-Capper got wrong this week. Nice work Jim!)

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SECOND PLACE
Everybody's goin' surfin', surfin' CPA. -- Rocko (JUDGE’S COMMENT: The lyrics to that classic song say “GONE Surfin’” I will forgive that goof because CPA rhymes with USA.)

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HONORABLE MENTIONS
"OK, OK, This'll be fun! Take off your clothes, and pretend your drowning in paperwork"

--Gern Blanston One minute later: "G.B." added: "You're"...whatever (JUDGE’S COMMENT: Mostly, this is funny because Gern got it right the first time than issued an unnecessary correction. [ It‘s a careless common mistake. “You’re” is short for “you are.”] That said, this is mildly clever and it has a slightly gay theme so it makes the cut. UPDATE: Naturally, I assumed the correction applied to the first use of "your." The second "your" should, in fact, be "you're." I guess you can see I sometimes don't read the whole caption--who has time? )

Sir, it has come to my attention that, in violation of company policy, Johnny B. and Kathy H. are engaged in an office romance. --Anonymous (JUDGE’S COMMENT: This references a creepy touching exchange of flirtatious captions. Stay tuned to see who’s gonna pitch and who’s gonna catch.)

"I'm glad to see you've found suitable employment Mr. Paul, but tell me; if I should get into trouble out there, do you get to decide whether or not you want to rescue me?"--Anonymous (JUDGE’S COMMENT: Recycled from the May 24 contest which also featured a lifeguard. It still kind of works. Go back and see, if you don’t believe me.)

al in ny--dwilk (JUDGE’S COMMENT: I appreciate the nod but I’m not much of a beach guy or a suit and tie guy on either coast.)

"I got it at IKEA and it was a bitch to put together." --Tim H (JUDGE’S COMMENT: If IKEA opened a supermarket they'd sell you an egg and call it a chicken The instructions would say that when the egg hatches, simply raise it , kill it and pluck it-- and you got yourself a chicken. That's how I feel about IKEA [This one hit a nerve, I guess you can see.])

"OK, the SEC will be here any minute, Frank. You're doing great. I think we can beat this rap with the Hasselhoff defense." --

Richard H (JUDGE’S COMMENT: Which means Frank is either a drunk or a terrible actor. Maybe both.)

August 6, 1945:"Like I said, we're not signing the damn Potsdam Declaration, and I don't know what the hell you mean by a mushroom behind me. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm implementing our radical new office kaizen. " --Eric G (JUDGE’S COMMENT: The Potdam thing is when Japan surrendered and “kaizen” is Japanese for “new way.” This might have been more racist funny if it included a "So sorry." This also begins a string of obscure references.)

Uh, isn't that the point?--LV (JUDGE’S COMMENT: I am guessing this is a reference to Barry's answer as to whether he inhaled. Since the man in the chair is "high" it makes the point. )

"Bodhi, this is your fucking wake-up call man. I am an F, B, I, Agent!" --holden_c (JUDGE’S COMMENT: Swayze’s character in Point Break. Best part of that movie was the Nixon masks.)

"What happened to the Danny Zuko I met at the beach?" --the_word (JUDGE’S COMMENT: Travolta’s character in Grease. I get that, but this cap is still pretty lame.)

"Sarbanes–Oxley is the only lifeguard I need, so go fuck yourself" --Anonymous (JUDGE’S COMMENT: A reference to the finance industry’s aversion to government regulation. But life guards aren’t really cops. This would have worked better if it had a “bail-out” angle. )

Don Draper, after his most recent trip to Southern California. --Anonymous (JUDGE’S COMMENT: Don would be smoking his Luckys and banging some starry eyed secretary.)

Shut the door. Have a seat. --

JohnnyB (JUDGE’S COMMENT: My wife tells me this is what Don said when was firing a guy. I thought it was a reference to what Chris Hansen used to say to those snared on Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator.” Either way.)

"It's an Aeron, bitch!" --Sun Qil Mun (JUDGE’S COMMENT: That is a type of chain with kind of a mesh back. So?)

"My name is Al. And, here in L.A. we do things differently. Capiche?" --Tim H (JUDGE’S COMMENT: Okay, here’s an obscure reference for you guys: Why would this be funny if is said “red cabbage” instead of “Capiche.” Hint: “Because you crack me so consistently up.”)

“Sure it’s a nice beach . . . but a long way to the water.”---blw (JUDGE’S COMMENT: At Riis Park it felt like we were crossing the Sierra to get near the water. It's like that in L.A. too. I think this cap makes that point. )

"No, Mr. Hayward, I expect you to...

go to Siberia and love it!" --Tim H (JUDGE’S COMMENT: Tim was kind enough to provide a link to a news story that says the former BP exec was being “transferred” to this new location. He resigned. That's what rich people do.)

"So, al in la doesn't know the difference between #s 246 and 249 . . . does that give you the right to sit up there and make a mockery of this Anti-Cap Contest???"---blw (JUDGE’S COMMENT: I cut and paste the headline from the previous week and sometimes forget to update the number. That doesn’t make me a bad person.)

"I've heard of working vacations, but this—aw, screw it; it's really not worth the effort, is it?"PS: Will Al get the Point Break, Grease, and Mad Men references? Tune in next week! --

Mike Mariano (JUDGE’S COMMENT: Done, done and done-- although my wife had to help with one of the Man Men references. And yes Mike, it is worth the effort.)

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