Monday, December 7, 2009

Possibly the only Holiday Greeting to ever contain the word 'unenforceability'


SEASON’S GREETINGS


(The following was sent to me by a friend who also happens to be an experienced attorney. She once pointed out to me that the Alanis Morissette song "Ironic" contains examples of coincidence but nothing that is actually ironic. That really stayed with me. I value her wisdom. )

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Please accept from me (the "wisher") with no obligation, express or implied, my best wishes to you (the "wishee") for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, climatically pleasant, gastronomically rewarding, low stress, non-addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, or your choice not to practice any religious or secular or nondenominational traditions whatsoever, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice any such traditions.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere) and without regard to the race, gender, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or lack thereof, or sexual preference of the wishee.
(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to modification or revocation, with or without notice, at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is freely transferable if transmitted without alteration and with proper source attribution. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for any wishee. It is void where prohibited by law; the wisher undertakes no responsibility for the determination of such legal prohibition; and the wishee accepts this wish with the express assumption of any risk, including without limitation, the unenforceability in the wishee’s jurisdiction. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent similar greeting, whichever comes first; this warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new and different wish, at the sole discretion of the wisher).
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Very truly yours,
PAMELA KOSLYN

1 comment:

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