Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Anti-Caption Contest #204



A NOTE ABOUT THE
ANTI- CAP CONTEST
(See Winners below)



First, a big thanks to all those who submitted Anti-Captions last week. As many of you know I am using my blog in a fledgling attempt to continue the New Yorker Magazine Anti-Caption Contest pioneered by Daniel Radosh. The talented but mistake prone writer has been catapulted from the literary fringes to a plum job as a writer for The Daily Show. Remarkably, the show's talent hounds where reportedly wooed by Daniel's blog. This is the rough equivalent of a beer league softball star making the Yankees. It's both baffling and encouraging.
.
Like many of you, I became acquainted with Daniel through the Anti-Caption Contest. As I visited
Radosh.net to check or post entries, I came to enjoy the sly wit and nebbish charm of the blogmeister himself. I must admit I even share his mild (and completely healthy) infatuation with the Clique Girz as well as his deep contempt for needless censorship and Bil Keane. Like someone who wonders into a quirky little restaurant to use the john and ends up having dinner, I came for the Anti-Caps and stayed for wit and wisdom.

Radosh writing for the smartest and most entertaining news show on TV is well earned but his decison to no longer post the Anti-Cap Contest each week is, for me at least, terrible news. As a cynic with a prankster's wit. I love the Contest. I'm one who believes cleaver trumps brilliant and I refuse to apologize for my impulse to spew bad puns (Don't you think I would stop if I could?). So I have dutifully entered Anti-Caps every week for more than two years and have even won several times. It is in that spirit that I plan to post the contest on this blog each week and pick winners before day break on the following Monday. (Day break in L.A., I mean.)

Judging the contest, I picked winners based strictly on what I thought was cleaver, made me laugh or simply was impossible to ignore. I want to note this up front because I never did buy into the criterion that supposedly deemed the "worst caption" prize worthy. In my view, the Anti-Cap Competition endures as a cherished symbol of contemporary humor because the rules are different. We Anti-Cappers exist in a parallel universe where absurdity, cheap shots and foul language are the currency. And, yes of course, the hours are always obscene. --al in la


WINNER
"You'll like this one, Gloria. So, Bill was asking how you could possibly have deep-throated your way to the top with such a skinny neck, and I was like, 'because she was blowing a guy with a mouse-dick!' Good one, huh?"
--Matt

RUNNER UP
Jim: "What goes squeak, squeak, bang? A mouse in a minefield!"
Mouse: "That's funny, Jim. Here's one for you: who screws up quarterly sales on a regular basis, and has to suck dick for cab money at customer summits?"
*silence*
Deborah: "Wait - I just got it. Minefield! Ha! BOOM!"
--Damon

HONORABLE MENTION
"Alright, people. We're up for the Kraft account. Any ideas? I mean other than 'Let's eat it.'"

--Kathy H

HONORABLE MENTION, (OBSCURE REFERENCE*)
J.D. said...
"Julius Streicher was hung at Nuremberg for portraying people as rodents. Walt Disney became a national hero for doing sort of the same thing. Go figure."
--J.D.

HONORABLE MENTION (Radosh Reference*)

"FUCK!!!"*
*this simple entry is in honor of our "past" leader Mr. Radosh who loved any submission with the word! You'll be miss my man but the "AC" is in good hands! Thanks Al in LA!
--Anonymous


*New Category

41 comments:

mypalmike said...

"First off, I'd like to thank Kevin here for getting this new teleconferencing unit installed. London, are you there?"

JohnnyB said...

Well, he scared away the elephant in the room so at least we don't have to talk about that.

JohnnyB said...

Wow, Gloria, nice boob job. Sorry, we can't help staring.

JohnnyB said...

Nobody brought a knife? How are we going to cut the cheese?

Matt said...

"You'll like this one, Gloria. So, Bill was asking how you could possibly have deep-throated your way to the top with such a skinny neck, and I was like, 'because she was blowing a guy with a mouse-dick!' Good one, huh?"

J.D. said...

"And speaking of cheesy holes -- Robert, how's your man-gina? Hahaha. See, you all thought I was going to refer to Gloria's pussy, but that would have been exceedingly inappropriate, insofar she is of the fair sex, and I am a consummate gentleman."

Damon said...

"Aura sales are phenomenal, and swiss is because brie networked cheddar this quarter. Nacho average Q3 - a munster. But ricotta sell even more next...mozzarella."

"...`mozzarella'?"

"I'm sorry it wasn't perfect, Lois. How about `LoisfuckedastripperinMonterey Jack'?"

Anonymous said...

The first person who pulls out a camera and says "cheese" is fired."

Anonymous said...

"FUCK!!!"*

*this simple entry is in honor of our "past" leader Mr. Radosh who loved any submission with the word! You'll be miss my man but the "AC" is in good hands! Thanks Al in LA!

LV said...

"Thank you, Mary, for bringing in your liposuctioned fat. How much is from your ass?"

Damon said...

Jim: "What goes squeak, squeak, bang? A mouse in a minefield!"

Mouse: "That's funny, Jim. Here's one for you: who screws up quarterly sales on a regular basis, and has to suck dick for cab money at customer summits?"

*silence*

Deborah: "Wait - I just got it. Minefield! Ha! BOOM!"

Tim H said...

"I thought that moving to Wisconsin would be just the move to get us on the fast-track. Sadly, I was wrong."

Francis said...

"Let's just watch it for a while and see who moves it."

Francis said...

"I'm so hungry, my laptop looks like a hamburger to me. What about you, Squeakerman?"

(note that "Squeakerman" should be pronounced like "Lieberman", not "Superman".)

Francis said...

"I'm not sure this cheese is actually Swiss. The holes kind of look painted on."

Kathy H said...

"Alright, people. We're up for the Kraft account. Any ideas? I mean other than 'Let's eat it.'"

Tim H said...

"This just might be the wedge issue we need to finally kill health care reform."

Matt said...

"Isn't it nice to work in a company where the cheese is never moved?"

"And now we know how to trap a mouse with an MBA: Lure him into a conference room where he will be stuck on calls all day and eventually die of boredom."

Ugarles said...

As an equal-opportunity employer I am going to give the promotion to whoever wins my game. The rules of the game are simple: whoever touches the object in the middle does not get the promotion. Round one is cheese. Round two is a basketball. Round three are a pair of size ... 4 Manolos.

Kathy H said...

[Head guy, thinking...]

"I just hope everyone remembers to call him a mouse and not a rat, which is obviously what he is."

Damon said...

"Happy birthday, Mr. Mouse. And Milton, if I hear you complaining about `the ratio of people to cheese', I'm gonna have him gnaw off your fucking leg."

J.D. said...

"Julius Streicher was hung at Nuremberg for portraying people as rodents. Walt Disney became a national hero for doing sort of the same thing. Go figure."

NAMBY said...

"It fucking stinks in here! Who cut the cheese?!?"

Kathy H said...

"...now, to new business. Apparently, our secret Swiss account has been found to have some holes in it..."

Damon said...

"`A block of cheese, and a giant, stuffed rat in an Armani suit'. That's really all you're seeing right now, Julie? God, you're so far inside the box, you're like...the cervix, or something."

R.K. said...

"Ratso here says he has something to share with the group."

"'Vibrissae'? The hell you say. The rest of the team has self-respect enough to shave before coming in to work. Pull yourself together man."

Dave said...

"I don't give a rat's ass whose cheese it is, Bob. Just don't leave it on the table."

Dave said...

"The first order of business is who volunteers to dress up as a Green Bay Packer cheesehead for this year's Christmas party?"

Deborah said...

"Wait - I just got it. Minefield! Ha! BOOM!"

Anonymous said...

"Beer league softball star? Why, I've been a professional writer for years. Haven't you seen my book, and my articles, and... Mmmm. Cheese."

Anonymous said...

[b][url=http://www.salelouisvuittonbagsus.com/]louis vuitton handbags[/url][/b] You'll find a number of questionable factors the following, though. Up to date Japanese tradition exterior Japan can look shallow by comparison." At quite a few other details, McGray hints at Japanese culture staying meaningless, all type and no message. But he misses the very fact that Japan isn't really remaining bound by ideology, like the Usa is.

[b][url=http://www.salelouisvuittonbagsus.com/]louis vuitton handbags[/url][/b] Nonetheless, as may be the case with many survivors of bodily and sexual trauma, even at Occidental University I used to be not in possession of my no. I lived on campus, acquiring fled my ordinary community and mother's property with the insistence of Occidental's housing office environment. Again then, all freshmen experienced to live to tell the tale campus their very first yr, and even though I'd transferred in to be a junior, I was instructed that rule also utilized to me..
Really, I presume that one of several ideal details the internet has introduced to us could be the ability to go on the net window buying at any time and anywhere during the earth. It is really seriously a whole new point which you may simply get hooked to it like what took place to me. There were instances when i failed to even head out of the accommodate for quite a few weeks basically simply because I didn't truly recognize that I had been savoring an excessive amount attempting to find distinctive goods over the web world and i almost forgot to is often observed within the genuine earth..

[b][url=http://www.salelouisvuittonbagsus.com/]louis vuitton bags[/url][/b] The purpose of Rocks Brunswick MD Harpers Ferry WV space is a very scenic place to check out and photograph trains. Around 60 trains on a daily basis experience there. Level of Rocks is in which lots of trains depart the southern department of CSX and continue northward straight to Baltimore, bypassing the Washington DC place..
Sterling silver blogposts combine the specific overall look, which provides the age instead backpack a sign as glint. Which is which means that lots of, that you'll really need to carry it is really alone. A WOMAN'S removable take bakes that doesn't only nevertheless rational.

[b][url=http://www.discountlouisvuittonoutlet.co.uk/]louis vuitton handbags[/url][/b] He was drafted since the first overall select in the 2004 NFL Draft by San Diego Chargers, but promptly traded on the Ny Giants, who traded 4th overall pick Philip Rivers. Rodgers was drafted while in the very first spherical (24th in general) of your 2005 NFL Draft by Eco-friendly Bay Packers. Rodgers played out higher education football for your California Golden Bears, in which he established various university data, which include lowest interception fee at one.43%.

Anonymous said...

[b][url=http://www.cheapuggbootssalenow.co.uk/]www.cheapuggbootssalenow.co.uk[/url][/b] These Ray Prohibit Shades furnish you ultra-modern search with comfortable truly come to feel. In the same way, Fastrack may be the iconic youth manufacturer that results in several classy style add-ons which includes Watches, Totes, Products, Purses, Wristbands, Devices and also Sunglasses. Fastrack Shades supply the one of a kind vogue traits, superior quality and elegance at absolute best charge.

[b][url=http://www.discountlouisvuittonoutlet.co.uk/]www.discountlouisvuittonoutlet.co.uk[/url][/b] The real look toes of the ahead into the shoe sincerely collections these sneakers individually then features an revolutionary truly feel of feminineness. Eurohandbag is certainly a prime vendor of huge many styles of clutches on-line. When you've got any issues about your individual well being or perhaps the health of your respective kid, you must constantly talk to that has a health practitioner or another healthcare skilled.
This precise silent theory this this ensemble adopted with the certain Cultural safety needs to accompany while not having to be dull or possibly also extravagant, then you definately chance quite possibly declaring pretty much nothing or just being craze overkill. It truly is like the distinction concerning some sort of nervous and restless presenter vs . a great exquisite, inspirational boss delivering the beginning discussion from Harvard.

[b][url=http://www.salelouisvuittonbagsus.com/]louis vuitton outlet[/url][/b] A method map is actually a stream diagram in the major processes within just a company. It extremely especially displays you the two who and what is associated with a approach, together with the demands for that procedure to become efficient. The main purpose would be to utilize the map as being a communication resource.
As alluded to previously, the main substance utilized in producing the human body of replica designer Louis Vuitton Alize Heures Container is monogram canvas. Any person conversant with these kinds of matters will reveal that this is one of the most greatest elements you may produce a 'luggage' bag making use of; thanks primarily to its sizeable sturdiness. replica designer LV purses search akin to the genuine kinds and therefore are virtually just such as the genuine ones..

[b][url=http://www.saleuggbootsstore.co.uk/]ugg boots uk cheap[/url][/b] The craze for personalized designed handbags supplied by branded companies like Louis Vuitton monogram canvas galliera pm m56382 lv bags, Prada, and Gucci is this type of that purchasers are geared up to wait all around near to to secure a fantastic offer of a very long time for you to have them. But predicted for that exorbitant marketing value of individuals branded handbags and purses truly several just hope of acquiring them. So females who not able to acquire Louis Vuitton monogram canvas galliera pm m56382 lv bags predicted for that higher priced advertising value get hold of fake Louis Vuitton monogram canvas galliera pm m56382 lv bags or perhaps the reproduction 1 certain to accumulate the variable inside the latest kind trend which is represented by most inside the celebrities and icons.

Anonymous said...

6oKxb ghd hair straightener
hKok michael kors bags
jOqi ghd
3rHlr ugg uk
0rEwu ghd hair straightener

Anonymous said...

1jUaw ghd flat iron
pTkq cheap ugg boots
eXoi michael kors outlet
9hSqs GHD Australia
2qRmz burberry store
4jCij ugg france
3rMgh ghd nz sale
0qHjs louis vuitton sale
7jZpw michael kors outlet
6cLcz ghd sale uk
6gQui cheap uggs
9lOos nfl jerseys
3aKps michael kors outlet
4tYpf ghd
1lWop cheap uggs

Anonymous said...

5jYcp ghd hair straighteners
vArt ugg store
gVmg michael kors outlet
5jStt GHD Australia
1gLql burberry usa
2aPyg bottes ugg pas cher
3rAqq ghd hair straighteners
2aTpl louis vuitton outlet
0fToq michael kors outlet
6wLsr cheap ghd straighteners
8nFci ugg boots cheap
8jQri cheap nfl jerseys
1gFrj michael kors outlet
9jBpf styler ghd
2eAih ugg boots sale

Anonymous said...

uYww cheap ghd australia
uAhv ugg uk
zOph michael kors sale
7sWnr ugg boots
5rRbc chi hair straightener
9fZpg michael kors sale
3zWuo nfl jerseys
8iKsc ghd nz
0jXbb north face sale
7iOex ugg
0kIyp cheap ghd straighteners uk
1oWex michael kors outlet
8pHhq nfl shop
2eZjz planchas ghd baratas
2vWjx ugg sale

Anonymous said...

ComRik [url=http://onnrainnmcm.com/#67335]MCM 韓国[/url] EmsXef http://onnrainnmcm.com/ OjzDly [url=http://mcmsenmon.com/#46157]MCM リュック[/url] SflYdq http://mcmsenmon.com/ DunZas [url=http://ninnkimcm.com/#87543]MCM 長財布[/url] LlfNip http://ninnkimcm.com/ XscDtx [url=http://kaidokumcm.com/#63289]MCM[/url] ZhhGys http://kaidokumcm.com/ GdcAvm [url=http://manzokumcm.com/#85032]MCM[/url] IuaWai http://manzokumcm.com/ PyeYyw http://chloenihon.com/ IziOhp [url=http://chloenihon.com/]クロエ アクセサリー[/url] LayH http://toumikousin.com/ VrxIM [url=http://toumikousin.com/]tumi[/url] LpwBmZ http://toumikakaku.com/ AemCuGF [url=http://toumikakaku.com/]TUMI リュック[/url] UayHnj [url=http://mcmhannbai.com/]MCM バッグ[/url] AmvWqz [url=http://mcmhannbai.com/]MCM 通販[/url]

Anonymous said...

OaiPoh [url=http://onnrainnmcm.com/#18729]MCM 財布[/url] RjmLqv http://onnrainnmcm.com/ FodXir [url=http://mcmsenmon.com/#66845]MCM 店舗[/url] FqsIrt http://mcmsenmon.com/ GzjCop [url=http://ninnkimcm.com/#33773]MCM リュック[/url] TnhLsv http://ninnkimcm.com/ VerAtd [url=http://kaidokumcm.com/#20240]MCM キーケース[/url] XzxRqj http://kaidokumcm.com/ CjvOpy [url=http://manzokumcm.com/#72768]MCM 財布[/url] FuvElk http://manzokumcm.com/ PhuUry http://chloenihon.com/ EuqNks [url=http://chloenihon.com/]クロエ 店舗[/url] YhoL http://toumikousin.com/ DklHO [url=http://toumikousin.com/]TUMI 26141[/url] GezHhS http://toumikakaku.com/ MpeXbEG [url=http://toumikakaku.com/]TUMI トート[/url] AvkJnv [url=http://mcmhannbai.com/]MCM[/url] CucOpq [url=http://mcmhannbai.com/]MCM ショルダー[/url]

Anonymous said...

NvdEhl [url=http://onnrainnmcm.com/#86171]MCM iphoneケース[/url] HrjIqy http://onnrainnmcm.com/ YoiUst [url=http://mcmsenmon.com/#61990]MCM リュック[/url] NytNpp http://mcmsenmon.com/ StmSnp [url=http://ninnkimcm.com/#85957]MCM バッグ[/url] QdoOyf http://ninnkimcm.com/ MvzSwo [url=http://kaidokumcm.com/#42815]MCM キーケース[/url] XuhKxu http://kaidokumcm.com/ AbmFwl [url=http://manzokumcm.com/#99532]MCM キーケース[/url] JbkPpm http://manzokumcm.com/ BphFdx http://chloenihon.com/ XhpBoq [url=http://chloenihon.com/]クロエ ネックレス[/url] BfeUpk http://louboutindendou.com/ YsePml [url=http://louboutindendou.com/]ルブタン パンプス[/url] LnqRgw http://guccisenmon.com/ WkuMse [url=http://guccisenmon.com/]GUCCI トートバッグ[/url] YpeDcm [url=http://mcmhannbai.com/]MCM キーケース[/url] KdfJhk [url=http://mcmhannbai.com/]MCM 財布[/url]

Anonymous said...

hollister ercvuoyg hollister uk kekgxtya hollister outlet uk hheoexqb hollister sale nvqnoekt hollister uk sale xhpungfm hollister sale uk nqixeigx cheap hollister yctwnvvb hollister outlet jjgvqzck hollister london yayncfan

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.lvacheter2013.com]louis vuitton sac[/url]Sac Louis Vuitton[/url]Sac Louis Vuitton[url=http://www.lvacheter2013.com]louis vuitton sac[/url] sac Louis Vuitton [url=http://www.louisvuittoncuir.fr]sac Louis Vuitton[/url] sgjzlt

Blog Archive

al in la

My photo
Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.