NOTE: Just as I was trying to play catch up with the contest. a wind storm ripped through the foothills of the San Gabriel Mountains, which is where Mrs. al in la and I live. The local news says it had the punch of a Category 4 hurricane. Worst one of these in 20 years. Gusts of over 100 mph sent debris flying. claimed countless trees and snapped utility poles like tinder. When the winds peaked in the middle of the night the sound was as fierce as a jet plane. We could hear our 50-year old home grown like it was under attack. We lost power for about two days and lost a bunch of food. Now it looks like we were nuked. Toppled lumber is everywhere, traffic is a mess and the sound of chain saws is a constant. Clean up will take weeks. It will take many decades for the foliage to completely return.
None of this is meant to explain why I've been dragging my feet with the anti-cap results for the past few weeks. I am trying to pick up the pace while there are still a few people doing it, It's just that the last couple of days I have had a really good excuse.
WINNERS
FIRST PLACE Showering with cubs? Fuckin' nittany lion." --Damon (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This is slightly ironic. If the ex-coach/alleged child-rapist does end up in prison, it will be a lot like throwing him into the cage here--only with a whole bunch of pissed-off lions.)
SECOND PLACE
"That's right . . . things have changed. Now it's all hippos in the living room, opposing armies massing on the front lawn, roller coaster rides . . . and don't think wearing this tie is any picnic."---left coast wayne (JUDGE'S COMMENT: We should give props to LCW for reminding us of contests past. Here's my nod to a classic cap: "On the subway, no one knows you're a predator.")
THIRD PLACE "When Sonny Bono died, did Cher receive the lions share, or did she share and Cher alike with Chasity---and buy her a belt! I'm confused, is this the "Worst Paragraph Ever Written Contest"?" --Dr Sumguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: It's caps like this that generate my level of enthusiasm. Nuff said.)
HONORABLE MENTIONS "Assimilatey, you crazy bastard! How are you?" --Dom (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The lion in the suit is saying that? He's the Uncle Tom-Cat.)
