Sunday, October 25, 2015

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest No. 496


26 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Black toast matters."

John Mercer said...

"No, when I bring my refrigerator out, I'll be chillin' with my hose"

JohnnyB said...

"I'm waterboarding it until it tells me what it did with my bread." - Cheney

NJ-to-TX said...

"They told me it was a Tesla. It even has a Tesla coil."

Dr Sumguy said...

"It had a supporting role in the Bollywood movie ... Black!"

John Mercer said...

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed how filthy every reflective surface in this neighborhood is"

Anonymous said...

"It's a plug-in."

Jim Cavanaugh

LR said...

"I had no idea how hard it would be to get my wife's bathwater off of this thing."

Anonymous said...

"What?"

boneguy said...

I swear right up to midnight it was a Model X.

John Mercer said...

"Well, that means I just jammed a pop-tart in my dog's anus"

Anonymous said...

"It's my Porsched egg on toast, asshole."

CARL said...

"Mind your own fucking business, asshole"

Anonymous said...

"This puddle reminds me of the time I fucked your wife in your bed, Baldy"

Anonymous said...

"The Mets are in the series. I lost a bet with my wife."

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

"She's real fine my Hamilton Beach 227039."

Anonymous said...

"Your toaster is dirtier than mine now. But who am I to judge? I don't judge anyone or anything."

Anonymous said...

"Fuck the water ban. Ever see a Mexican cutting his grass?"

John Mercer said...

"Yeah, yeah, I'm the Toast of the Town. You're a regular Useless Tilley, aren't you?"

Anonymous said...

"The hours here are Sunbeam."

Jim Cavanaugh

Anonymous said...

"Gotta look brand new—it's my daughter's wedding present."

Dex said...

"Crust, what an asshole."

Jess said...

"YES I unplugged it first!" (adding under his breath) "asshole."

Anonymous said...

"Good fences make good neighbors. I just fenced your wife and lawn mower for this toaster and ten bucks."

Dr Sumguy said...

"According to your wife, I need to reel out more hose!"

Anonymous said...

"The Mets are toast."

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BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.