"Black toast matters."
"No, when I bring my refrigerator out, I'll be chillin' with my hose"
"I'm waterboarding it until it tells me what it did with my bread." - Cheney
"They told me it was a Tesla. It even has a Tesla coil."
"It had a supporting role in the Bollywood movie ... Black!"
"Don't tell me you haven't noticed how filthy every reflective surface in this neighborhood is"
"It's a plug-in."Jim Cavanaugh
"I had no idea how hard it would be to get my wife's bathwater off of this thing."
I swear right up to midnight it was a Model X.
"Well, that means I just jammed a pop-tart in my dog's anus"
"It's my Porsched egg on toast, asshole."
"Mind your own fucking business, asshole"
"This puddle reminds me of the time I fucked your wife in your bed, Baldy"
"The Mets are in the series. I lost a bet with my wife."Jim Cavanaugh
"She's real fine my Hamilton Beach 227039."
"Your toaster is dirtier than mine now. But who am I to judge? I don't judge anyone or anything."
"Fuck the water ban. Ever see a Mexican cutting his grass?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm the Toast of the Town. You're a regular Useless Tilley, aren't you?"
"The hours here are Sunbeam."Jim Cavanaugh
"Gotta look brand new—it's my daughter's wedding present."
"Crust, what an asshole."
"YES I unplugged it first!" (adding under his breath) "asshole."
"Good fences make good neighbors. I just fenced your wife and lawn mower for this toaster and ten bucks."
"According to your wife, I need to reel out more hose!"
"The Mets are toast."
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