Tuesday, November 4, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #450







WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
"It was the black guy's idea"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: There may or may not be a black guy swayin' to the rhythm, but this works because blame-the-black-guy is a well established strategy. )

SECOND PLACE
"I move we approve the minuets."--Greenie Stik-M-Caps (JUDGE'S COMMENT: One of the best puns ever seen in this contest which, we can all agree, is like being the tallest midget or the least smelly dung heap.)

THIRD PLACE
"Well, Obama promised cha-cha-cha-change."--Dex (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Barry don't dance. Barry don't have to dance. Six years later this still engenders contempt among many Americans.)

HONORABLE MENTIONS
"All the guys are pretending to be Deney Terrio and all the girls are pretending to be Motion."--Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Leave it to Kathy Link-a-lot to drum up an obscure reference that creates an awkward silence followed by a polite chuckle. That IS what you were shooting for—right? )

"Hey Al, if the anti cap is such a drag, how about a quick comment on my boogaloo?"--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: The amateurish gyrations of your profoundly unappealing derrière recall the gruesome spectacle of two frightened piglets frantically scurrying to escape a cauldron of boiling water. If there is one redeeming factor to be salvaged from this grotesque display, it is that there were, thankfully, no black people around to see it.)

"It's always cause for celebration when al judges a contest."--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Celebrate the joy you bring to complete strangers who give not one shit about you, my anonymous friend.)

RIP, Tom Magliozzi, who's laugh brought the world to it's rightful humorous knees.--Anonymous (JUDGE'S COMMENT: So it's Saturday morning and I'm trying to tune in a station on the kitchen radio. I have don't have much time because I got stuff on the burner. Every thing is static but I finally get NPR. Fine, I'm thinking, I can always listen to NPR. But then as I move toward the stove and resume cooking I realize what I'm listening to is “Car Talk.” This annoyed me. I actually took a second to wonder who the fuck would listen to a radio show discussing car repairs and why the fuck does NPR insist on airing this crap. It was probably the only time I ever gave “Car Talk” more than five seconds worth or thought. I mention this because, out of curiosity, I Googled “Tom Magliozzi.” Turns out he was one of those “Car Talk” geeks. He died. Kind of a spooky, is all I'm saying.)


32 comments:

boneguy said...

Our fitbits went off simultaneously.

Anonymous said...

"What?"

Anonymous said...

"Give yourself another raise and get the fuck outta here."

Dex said...

"Well, Obama promised cha-cha-cha-change."

Dr Sumguy said...

"BONUS!!! ... IHOP CORP ... COME ON!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Hostile Takeover ... We're doing the 'Breakdance'!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"You said you wanted 'To Table the Motion'!"

Kathy H said...

"Sorry, Bill, but the fire department said just six dancers at a time on the table."

boneguy said...

Welcome to "Elevated Dance Floor, Inc.".

SalmonOfDoubt said...

This is a party planning company, Jim. We need to test the product.

Kathy H said...

"All the guys are pretending to be Deney Terrio and all the girls are pretending to be Motion."

Anonymous said...

"It was the black guy's idea"

Satireguy said...

"What's your problem? We took off our shoes."

Anonymous said...

"Do a little bit of this, do a little bit of that, and shake your bum just like your mum"

NJtoTX said...

"Cast your dancing spell my way. I promise to go under it."

Anonymous said...

"I felt sorry for myself for I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no balls."

Anonymouse said...

"I can't help it. I'm a dancer who dances dances!"

Anonymous said...

"Get down? Whad-dya fucking blind?"

Greenie Stik-M-Caps said...

"I move we approve the minuets."

Tim H said...

Come on, let's twist again,
Like we did last summer!
Yeaaah, let's twist again,
Like we did last year!

Satireguy said...

"Hey, c'mon, haven't you ever danced to 'Desolation Row'?"

Anonymous said...

"Hey Al, if the anti cap is such a drag, how about a quick comment on my boogaloo?"

Anonymous said...

"It's always cause for celebration when al judges a contest."

Dex said...

"I know its four guys and two gals, but have you met Phil and Ron from Accounting?"

gfwrite said...

It's a pre-marketing session for the Cayenne Undies account.

NJ-to-TX said...

"None of us care what you did with our shoes. But we're horny as fuck."

pg13 said...

"That was your face?!?"

Boof said...

"Chill out bro - just haul your fat ass up here and bust a move!"

pg13 said...

"Baby got back."

Anonymous said...

"Loosen up, Mitt...oh, and please don't run again."

Jim Cavanaugh

Don Don said...

"With the GOP in power all our problems can be solved with murder and/or mayhem."

Anonymous said...

RIP, Tom Magliozzi, who's laugh brought the world to it's rightful humorous knees.

Blog Archive

al in la

My photo
Los Angeles, California, United States
BORN: Brooklyn RAISED: Staten Island WHERE AT NOW: Los Angeles, California WHY: We will one day know.