Sunday, February 9, 2014

New Yorker Anti-Caption Contest #416








WINNERS

FIRST PLACE
The arrows here are obscene.--Levon Delight (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Seldom do classic caps take the top spot in this thing of ours – but seldom are they this good. It sounds right and it's remarkably appropriate for the image. Extra credit: Levon Delight sounds like the stage name for a porn star. Nicely done!)
SECOND PLACE
Meanwhile, in Utah....--Austin in PA (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This would appear to be a thinly veiled reference to polygamy which was once popular in Utah. The point is: I got it.)
THIRD PLACE
"Stupid Cupid."--Kathy H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This links to an old Connie Francis song and offers further proof that Kathy searches relentlessly for something to link to. Her efforts should be rewarded and encouraged.)
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"Last thing I remembered ... I hit CTRL + arrow ... Fucking computer!"-- Dr Sumguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: When you think about it, the true humor value here comes from the “Fucking computer” part. You know...because when you hit the wrong key combo you get fucked. We've all been there.)
"I decided to start judging again before they put another one in me."

--Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: It is the self-inflicted arrows that hurt the most–any neurotic will tell you that.)

"He only showed up to semi-judge a contest so that he could make a comment about Dylan's Super Bowl ad. Oh, and he shot me."--NJ-to-TX (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Allow me to evoke some lyrics from the 1997 Dylan masterpiece “Cold Irons Bound”:

The walls of pride are high and wide
Can’t see over to the other side
It’s such a sad thing to see beauty decay
It’s sadder still to feel your heart torn away.)



44 comments:

Anonymous said...

"I shopped at Target."

Anonymous said...

"I decided to start judging again before they put another one in me."

Jim Cavanaugh

boneguy said...

This happens every time I tell him no more Sponge Bob.

Kathy H said...

"Ah, the kid's just mad because I'm wearing an Arrow® shirt."

Anonymous said...

"Oh...and my mother was a whore."

LR said...

He's pissed he wasn't in that stupid VW commercial- why take it out on me?"

reid savid said...

"I think I'm bleeding internally."

Tim H said...

"So tell me, Doc. 'Tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them? I mean. I gotta know."

Shelly said...

"I don't know what's bothering him- time and time again, I'm the one who gets the shaft."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Last thing I remembered ... I hit CTRL + arrow ... Fucking computer!"

Dr Sumguy said...

"Last thing I remembered ... I hit CTRL + arrow ... Fucking computer!"

Anonymouse said...

"It's a poor man's biathlon: 1) Go to a shrink's office; 2) Shoot some arrows into a guy."

Kathy H said...

"Stupid Cupid."

boneguy said...

We're getting to the point where he might be able to get him
the state executioner job
.

Puffin said...

"I only told him I prefer find-a-slut.com and he went freaking nuts."

james said...

"Venus envy."

Anonymous said...

"...not to mention the tiny green men that keep abducting me."

Dr Sumguy said...

(in cartoons the person on the left always speaks first (except in Isreal) ... Did the chest pain start before or after your purchase of the 'Pierce-Arrow'?

gfwrite said...

I don't have anything against him Doc, but I'm just not attracted to gay dating service Cupid hitmen.

Austin in PA said...

Meanwhile, in Utah....

NJ-to-TX said...

"He only showed up to semi-judge a contest so that he could make a comment about Dylan's Super Bowl ad. Oh, and he shot me."

Levon Delight said...

Christ, what an asshole.

Levon Delight said...

The arrows here are obscene.

Levon Delight said...

Can you not see the arrows? It's NOT my fucking imagination. I'm suing the paramedics who brought me here.

Puffin said...

"No matter how hard he tries, nothing can change the fact that his first shot made me fall madly in love with Boris,the neighbour's pet pig."

Tim H said...

"Like I always say, 'Arrows by any other name...'"

Kathy H said...

"I agree. Sometimes an arrow is just an arrow."

Anonymouse said...

"How 'bout that Woody Allen mess, huh?"

reid savid said...

"Would you make love to Kristie Alley?"

Anonymous said...

"Oh Sorry. Am I playing footsie with you? Ten hate-arrows from a midget injun can cloud a man's judgement."

Anonymous said...

"How do I explain to the little fucker that I'm gay?"

Satireguy said...

"First I lose my balls in Nam and now this!"

pg13 said...

"This holistic approach to my erectile dysfunction has me seeing a shrink."

Dr Sumguy said...

"Im OK Doc ... See if you can help the little 'Bowcunter'!"

Puffin said...

"I want to change this delusion to William Tell. At least I'd save on shirts."

Steve_O said...

"...and you don't want to know where he stuck the bow."

boneguy said...

You needed 8 years of post graduate training to realize that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday?

Anonymous said...

"I wouldn't change his poopy diaper."

reid savid said...

"Peeing on her just makes me really uncomfortable."

Levon Delight said...

But if the arrow is straight and the point is slick
It can pierce through dust no matter how thick
So I'll make my stand and remain as I am
And bid farewell and not give a damn

Anonymous said...

"See? Cupid's a douche"

Satireguy said...

"The little prick couldn't take 'yes' for an answer."

Anonymous said...

"Fucking OkCupid!"

Anonymous said...

"It's me, not him."

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