"I shopped at Target."
"I decided to start judging again before they put another one in me."Jim Cavanaugh
This happens every time I tell him no more Sponge Bob.
"Ah, the kid's just mad because I'm wearing an Arrow® shirt."
"Oh...and my mother was a whore."
He's pissed he wasn't in that stupid VW commercial- why take it out on me?"
"I think I'm bleeding internally."
"So tell me, Doc. 'Tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them? I mean. I gotta know."
"I don't know what's bothering him- time and time again, I'm the one who gets the shaft."
"Last thing I remembered ... I hit CTRL + arrow ... Fucking computer!"
"It's a poor man's biathlon: 1) Go to a shrink's office; 2) Shoot some arrows into a guy."
We're getting to the point where he might be able to get him the state executioner job.
"I only told him I prefer find-a-slut.com and he went freaking nuts."
"...not to mention the tiny green men that keep abducting me."
(in cartoons the person on the left always speaks first (except in Isreal) ... Did the chest pain start before or after your purchase of the 'Pierce-Arrow'?
I don't have anything against him Doc, but I'm just not attracted to gay dating service Cupid hitmen.
Meanwhile, in Utah....
"He only showed up to semi-judge a contest so that he could make a comment about Dylan's Super Bowl ad. Oh, and he shot me."
Christ, what an asshole.
The arrows here are obscene.
Can you not see the arrows? It's NOT my fucking imagination. I'm suing the paramedics who brought me here.
"No matter how hard he tries, nothing can change the fact that his first shot made me fall madly in love with Boris,the neighbour's pet pig."
"Like I always say, 'Arrows by any other name...'"
"I agree. Sometimes an arrow is just an arrow."
"How 'bout that Woody Allen mess, huh?"
"Would you make love to Kristie Alley?"
"Oh Sorry. Am I playing footsie with you? Ten hate-arrows from a midget injun can cloud a man's judgement."
"How do I explain to the little fucker that I'm gay?"
"First I lose my balls in Nam and now this!"
"This holistic approach to my erectile dysfunction has me seeing a shrink."
"Im OK Doc ... See if you can help the little 'Bowcunter'!"
"I want to change this delusion to William Tell. At least I'd save on shirts."
"...and you don't want to know where he stuck the bow."
You needed 8 years of post graduate training to realize that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday?
"I wouldn't change his poopy diaper."
"Peeing on her just makes me really uncomfortable."
But if the arrow is straight and the point is slickIt can pierce through dust no matter how thickSo I'll make my stand and remain as I amAnd bid farewell and not give a damn
"See? Cupid's a douche"
"The little prick couldn't take 'yes' for an answer."
"It's me, not him."
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