RESULTS: The New Yorker Cartoon Anti-Caption Contest #225

NOTE: A big week in Anti-Cap Land as we learned that contest founder, Daniel Radosh, will now use Twitter as the prime venue for his wit and wisdom. He also graciously assured that his Radosh.net web site will endure, as will our cherished contest. As I noted in my comment to his post, the other judge, Harry, has returned and is set to assume his every-other-week duties. In fact, Harry said he will be posting and judging this week's contest (#226). I plan to post "unofficial winners" (and my comments) on this blog strictly for entertainment value. Between the two of us we'll keep it going. I'm not a Twitter-type of person (all obvious jokes aside), but I do wish Daniel every success in his effort to entertain and enlighten people using no more than 140 characters at a time.
Also, please note that I am writing this while bummed out. I am not a huge NY Jets fan, but I remember them fondly from their days playing at Shea Stadium and winning Super Bowl III. I really wanted to see them win today. Having once lived in Baltimore, I have spill-over hatred for the Colts (Everyone in that town hates them for their abrupt 1983 move to Indianapolis.) Maybe the cheerleader in the cartoon is consoling the Jets. Maybe she is a terrorist (terrorette?) who is about to attack the Colt's plane. All I can say is 24 days to pitchers and catchers.
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And now for this week's winners and my two-cents:
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WINNERS
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FIRST PLACE

"Hi, wanna see my confetti impression?"-- TG Gibbon (JUDGE'S COMMENT: For those wondering why this is even remotely funny, the jet engines are about to shred the cheerleader and her pom-poms. It will be gruesome--but in a festive way. Of course, I'm assuming she cheers for the Colts which proves that I am a very bitter and vindictive creative person.)

HONORABLE MENTIONS

"No, Captain, Sullenberger, I'm not Kate Hudson and you can't 'ditch it' in me."--JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Reaching for a pun while staying topical, Johnny recalls that is was just about a year ago that Capt. Sully ditched his plane into the Hudson River. Johnny somehow found away to sexualize it. Hey? Wouldn't it be a scream if the Colts charter plane crashed and burned was seriously delayed on its way to the Super Bowl?)

"Oh, jeez. Another fucking moron to get arrested while they close down the goddam airport."-- Glenn (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This was one of my first thoughts when I saw the image: she would be arrested, or maybe tazzed, maced or shot as a security threat. Or maybe some water boarding. Also, you so seldom see the word "jeez" any more.)

"Remember me? I was on Comair CRJ-100. 49 of us died and you survived. I hope you're haunted by my face."-- Yetta K (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This is a reference to a 2006 plane crash in Kentucky that did, in fact, claim 49 lives. The FAA says the captain was on the wrong runway because he was chit-chatting with his 1st officer, [who, it turns out, was the only survivor.] A news report notes that one of the victims was a cheerleader. It also says the 1st officer vowed he would fly again. So, this one is factually accurate, makes light of a tragedy AND manages to include a perennial Anti-Cap. ["haunted by the faces..."] Yetta, you did yourself proud!)

"I'm haunted by the faces of my victims. Specifically that cheerleader that I raped and killed in Seattle last year. You remember, right, Phil?" Steve_O (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Kind of like the previous Anti-Cap, only with misogyny. I guess she asked for it, dressed like that and all.)


"These To Catch A Predator stings are getting increasingly elaborate."-- David (JUDGE'S COMMENT: They also give the NY Post an excuse to use "sick-o" or "perv" in a headline. )

"OSAMA OBAMA, GET A ROOM. INFIDEL AIRPLANE GO KABOOM!!!!"-- m hartman (JUDGE'S COMMENT: What do cheerleaders do? They cheer. I'm frankly surprised we did not get more entries like this. )

"Funny you should ask for a "D" and another "D," they're on the grass right behind you." -- djack (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This entry was posted two minutes after djack posted the same cap, but with the letters "D" and "A." I envision him smacking his head and saying "Oh shit!" Rather than cut his loses, he fixed the mistake and entered another cap. I think we could encourage that type of self loathing integrity.)

Two, four, six, eight, I'll help you elevate. Just be careful not to slip When you reach the landing strip. Go Jets!"-- LV (JUDGE'S COMMENT: It rhymes and it mentions a football team whose season ended today. )

"It's Jeff Zucker's latest idea to save the network. Think of it as LOST Meets HEROES, but if J.J. Abrams asks, it's based on an idea by Art Buchwald." --Richard H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Good use of name dropping. I knew all the references even though I've never seen "Heroes" and I hate "Lost.")

"The day I show you my tits is the day Radosh puts Pamela Anderson's generously augmented twins fully exposed on his blog site. What? Oh shit."--boneguy (JUDGE'S COMMENT: So, I'm not the only one who has noticed the Pam Anderson "Blogad" that is a fixture of Radosh.net. The caption is a bit of a reach and isn't particularly funny but I like the eye for detail.)

"Marry me, and we'll create little TV-Pilots." (Tranny jokes rule!)--Cosette (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Cute little pun there, Cosette. But if it is a guy in a cheerleader's outfit how are they supposed to re-produce? )

"Suck the cheerleader into your port engine, save the world."--Walt (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Very impressive that you specified "port engine." Clearly Walt is a detail-oriented person with cheerleader issues.)

"That's kinda . . . offensive. No, I said if you start the engines, I'LL be sucked into them like a piece of hamburger into a garbage disposal . . ."-- Optimus Sub-Prime (JUDGE'S COMMENT: It's funny because it's true. I will add that I never had a garbage disposal until I moved to L.A. It's one of those not-in-New York things.)

"Hold up a sec, that's our navigator Al."-- Dex (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Hey! Is Dex suggesting that's me on the tarmac wearing a cheerleader outfit? Do they even make them in my size? [just askin'] And aren't I more of a co-pilot than a "navigator," fer Christ sake?)
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"I'm sure glad there are no black TSA agents here to see this."--Mr. Know It All (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I don't thing the TSA discriminates. but this is a perennial and it's a little tiny bit funny.)

"What do you mean you could see my landing strip?"-- Mr. Know It All (JUDGE'S COMMENT: A woman's pubic hair region is sometimes crudely referred to as a "landing strip" because it's where a man's organ "lands." I knew someone would make a funny joke about that. I'm still waiting.)

"You looking for Al in LAX?He was attacked my a mob of angry anti-cappers last week. I'm here to cheer him up."-- Jim Cavanaugh (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Jim has been a staunch supporter of mine and has encouraged me to continue my courageous work in the face of adversity. He also seems to see himself in a cheerleader uniform.)

"We've got to stop meeting like this. I have other responsibilities. From now on, meet me on twitter. Warning: they have a stricter word limit."--JohnnyB (JUDGE'S COMMENT: This, of course, is a reference to Radosh's shift from the web site to twitter. Very little gets past Johnny.)

"Fuselage, you crazy bastard!"--Richard H (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I thought of "Jet fuel, you crazy bastard!" but this is better. But please, Richard, let's not forget the "How the hell are you?" part. And let's be clear: We mean no offense to bastards who also happen to be mentally ill.)
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