Monday, October 5, 2009
Anti-Caption Contest #211
..the fuck's your problem?--john
Honorable Mention But Not as Funny as mypalmike's Dept.
Honorable Mention: Funnier Than dwilk's (But what's with the ellipsis and let's not forget the quote marks, mister?) Dept.
Fucking Americans... --mypalmike
Honorable Mention: If It Means That Much To You Buddy Dept.
"Thank god you're here! Do you also have the technology to go back in time and change last week's Runner-Up from 'dwilk' to 'Steve_O'?"--Steve O.
Honorable Mention: Made Judge's Wife Laugh Dept.
"Suck it, moon hobo" --Sarah
Honorable Mention: Just Sayin' What Everyone's Thinkin' Dept.
"No, I haven't seen Radosh, or any of his guest bloggers. Now either give me some water or fuck off."--Richard Hine
Honorable Mention: Does Johnny B. Have Anger Issues? (Or is he just a fan of 'The Honeymooners' ) Dept.
My wife was a beautiful, maddening woman. She was full of desires and talents repressed and suppressed by society but burning within her veins and sinews. She threw those crushed hopes and dreams at the only target she had: me. She aroused in me so many violent and contradictory passions. One day I would promise to fuck her so hard she would experience Heaven and Hell in a thundering destruction of trembling climax. Then the next day I would threaten to punch her so hard she would fly to the moon. Brandishing my fist right beneath her nose, I shouted, over and over, "To the moon, Alice! One of these days, right to the moon." And one of those days she grew tired of it and she walloped me. And here I am. What's your story? --Johnny B.
Honorable Mention J.D. Makes An Excellent Point & Would Have Won If He Wasn't So Fucking Long-Winded Dept.
"The constant repetition of this seemingly innocent cartoon cliche -- that only a distressed, homeless or crazy man has a long beard - creates an amazing amount of bias against cultures where beards are customary or mandated by spiritual belief. Hassids are fortunate to have media protection, but such dehumanization makes it so much easier for the US government to continue its genocidal crusade against Muslims with their bearded Imams and Ayatollahs, and for the cognitively deficient to bash Sikhs, one of the most peaceful and industrious people on earth. Of course, police and airport security are blessed with superior intelligence and would never be so shallow as to profile a person based on something as harmless as facial hair, right? Just curious: what are adult men who shave trying to accomplish? Denuding their faces -- why? To pass themselves off as ravaged adolescents? Feminizing themselves to please mannish women? So many shaved men do resemble eunuchs or semi-butch lesbians. Just sayin' ..."--JD