Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Idiot (down) Wind: Write Your Own Headline For This Stinky Dylan Story

For nearly five decades, Bob Dylan has avoided bad press (news stories, I mean, not reviews). Now, there's a a big stink about a Porta Potty on his estate in Malibu. According to the L.A. Times, one neighbor says she can't bare the smell wafting over her fence. Of course, this would be a nothing story if not for Dylan. It's awkward, dumb and annoying for everyone concerned--except, of course, headline writters (God love em').

Full disclosure: Bob is my hero. I bought "Before the Flood" when I was 15 and I've been hooked ever since. Despite some soft spots in his career (the 80's for example) Dylan has maintained an aloof yet dignified stature. I love his music and I love the guy for what he hasn't done. I have never been embarrassed to be a devoted fan.

Think about it: Not once has a Hollywood Squares contestant ever uttered the phrase "Bob Dylan to block." Never has Dylan appeared in a TV ad cooing about a car seat's "rich Corinthian leather." Never has he gone into a rant about how much he hates midgets (or whoever) after being nabbed for drunk driving. We've never had to worry about him putting a cap in Neil Young's ass. Nuff' said. So, of all the shitty things that can happen to a celeb, the furor over a smelly Porta Potty is a far cry from, say, a dead house guest who was seen arguing with Dylan the night before. I mean, given the ocean breezes and such how bad can the smell be? (Of course, I don't live next door)

So I wanted to encourage anyone who might read this to use to comments section to post a headline appropriate for this story. Dylan songs are a natural but feel free to be imaginative. To get you started I have included a few samples culled from a Google search:

Bob Dylan’s neighbors raise stink over his Porta Potty

Bob Dylan's Crap -- Blowin' in the Wind

Poor Bob Dylan and His Malibu Outhouse Debacle

It don't stink nice, it's not all right


Fans Say Dylan's Shit Don't Stink--Locals Disagree


Anonymous said...

How about:

Fans Say Dylan's Shit Don't Stink--Locals Disagree

Doug in Malibu said...

"All Along The Water Closet"

Doug in Malibu said...

"All Along The Water Closet"

Anonymous said...

I think Jackson Browne had a song called "You Assshole, You"

JohnnyB said...

Dylan did sell out and do an ad for Victoria's Secret a few years ago

al in la said...

Johnnny B,
I submit the Victoria's Secret ad was not a sell out. Just an excuse to watch girls parade around in their undies.

(For the record he also let a brokage firm use "The Times They Are a Changin'" although is was sung on the commercial by Richie Havens. (Please don't try to out Dylan me!)--al in la

jim said...

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NJ-to-TX said...

Dylan's not even dead yet, and you give up?

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al in la

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