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WINNERS
FIRST
PLACE
"Where
in hell did you learn to drive?"
--Jim Cavanaugh
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: This was the first cap
entered in this contest and Jimbo knocked it out of the park. Laugh
out loud funny. Maybe Jim's best anti-cap ever. It is also hit home.
Full disclosure: It's something I often want to yell at Chinese women
driving minivans.)
SECOND
PLACE
"We
should have listened to that guy yelling, 'You're gonna have to
swerve, somebody.'"--NJtoTX
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: A masterful combination of a Dylan lyric and a
terrible pun. "Gotta
Serve Somebody" also takes note of the devil so it is
appropriate for the image.)
THIRD
PLACE
"I
know I backed into you, but can we just blame you like we always
do?"--NJtoTX
(JUDGE'S COMMENT: Unlikely that the angel would ask permission before
assigning blame. Metaphorically, the devil may represent victims who
have been demonized. This may also be a statement about the conflict
that tears at the soul of every man. )
HONORABLE
MENTIONS
"I
still love you"
"I hate you even more"--Don
Don (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Evil does not thrive on hate. It's more of a
conquest thing. An even so, the accident is clearly the fault of the
devil. You don't address that, do you Don?)
Fuckn-A
Satan, we just crushed the shit out of Ollie from Kukla, Fran ans
Ollie.--big G (JUDGE'S COMMENT: I don't get this but I thought
it should be praised because I recall KF&O from my childhood.)
"The
caption police should be here any minute."--Veteran
crapper and total loser (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Remember, the caption
police at the NYer won't let you get away with dirty words, racism,
sexism, bad taste and horrible puns. They offer no quarter to the
humorless semi-coherent rantings of the dissatisfied masses. They
know not the value of Dylan references included only to placate the
judge. Does this mean we should form an anti-caption police force?
This could get ugly.)
The
first rule of anti-capping is that your entry could NEVER ever even
be considered for the real contest. Keep this in mind--Veteran
capper and repeated winner (JUDGE'S COMMENT: Actually the first rule
of anti-capping is: Never tell anyone outside the family what you're
thinking.)
62 comments:
"Where in hell did you learn to drive?"
Jim Cavanaugh
"My insurance only covers Acts of God."
"At least they're just company cars."
"In ten thousand years we'll just look back on it and laugh."
I tell all my clients to check over BOTH shoulders.
"Christ. What an ass-ender."
Jim Cavanaugh
"Why dincha honk your red horn?"
"You know of course ... Violating the rules of the Demon Lane ... Is punishable by a $491 fine!"
"Listen buddy- cut the 'holier than thou crap'!"
“Every time a bumper crunches, an angel's insurance premiums raise to high Heaven.”
"Let's agree to disagree."
Don't tell me how "The Exorcist" ends.
I'm technically no longer an angel since I missed my last car payment .
No I didn't know it was "National Dress Like A Hedge Fund Manager Day".
Pleased to meet you. Don't forget my name.
"I forgive you, but with Geico, there will be hell to pay."
Did it hurt ... when you fell from Heaven?
"Sorry I stopped so quickly. I couldn't decide if I should go to Los Angeles or to Anaheim."
"This is Hegenberger Road in Oakland! ... Let's get the Hell out'a here!"
"Goddamn it!"
"We should have listened to that guy yelling, 'You're gonna have to swerve, somebody.'"
"I know I backed into you, but can we just blame you like we always do?"
"Glad you're OK. Without you, I'm nobody."
"It's a miracle no one was killed."
"Those Car Talk guys are Catholic, right?"
Sure my neck is broken. Luckily I come equipped with a Halo Device.
"That almost hurt as much as you rear-ending me the other night without lube"
"And I suppose now you're going to tell me that you've got no insurance."
"Pitchfork you, buddy!"
You must have been in my blind faith spot.
"You hit me so hard that in my head I think there be bells, eh, Bub."
"Is that the new iFork 6?"
"I'm not sure Kia is proud of it, but it looks like you do have a Soul after all."
This is what happens when the Devil is hauling ash!
I'm an Independent, I didn't see you signal for a left or right wing turn
This is exactly what happens when the Devil gets
Shift-faced
Hell - gaiting
The Angel now has some sin in the game!
I will never try parallel parking universe again
Could someone text Mr.Moses to let him know I'm going to be about 10 minutes late for that Mountain Top meeting today?
I knew I should have taken the Ark
I will never try parallel universe parking again
The hell with transition lenses!
"Heavens to Betsy! There's going to be hell to pay!"
"Follow Christ? Keep six car lengths."
"Excuse me, but I couldn't help but think that your little cloven hooves on the brake pedal might have had something to do with this."
The first rule of anti-capping is that your entry could NEVER ever even be considered for the real contest. Keep this in mind
"The caption police should be here any minute."
"I'm not the owner! ... 'The Devil never grants long leases!"
Yo "Veteran Capper and Repeated Winner". The two are synonymous.
"The irony is that I have a dozen devil's food cakes in my trunk."
"Not to rub it in, bro, but we get Christopher Hitchens and you wind up with Mother-Fuckin' Teresa."
I guess this means we're both dead.
"Christ all mighty - you drive like you're on your way to a fire!!!
"Rear-ending another dude will get you a ticket straight to hell".
Jim Cavanaugh
"So much for divine intervention."
"It figures you'd be driving a Gremlin."
My parents are going to kill me again.
Actually there was one witness.
"I still love you"
"I hate you even more"
"I can't enable you"
"Death, life, this , all the same"
"Are we closer to Heaven or are we closer to Hell?"
"it depends on how fast you can stop talking."
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